Be hedonistic, drive more safely & get with lots of twinks: Gays share their best New Year’s resolutions

Let’s face it: New Year’s resolutions are often nauseating. People boast about their ambitions to breathe deeply, live in the moment, exercise daily, drink lots of water, take time for self-care(!), eat a clean diet, cut back on screen time, cut back on alcohol and basically cut back on anything fun… except “purposeful” time with family and friends.

We told you… nauseating!

While we champion self-improvement, we don’t think New Year’s resolutions have to be so staid. Queerty readers appear to agree.

In celebration of 2026–which is already a dumpster fire!–we asked Queerty readers about some of the best new year’s vows they’ve ever made to themselves. Here’s what they had to say…

How about we take this to the next level?

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What’s the best New Year’s resolution you’ve ever made and why?

“To not make any more resolutions. They’re almost impossible to keep so why bother? While I understand it’s tradition for some folks and that’s a good thing, I say break tradition and just be a hedonist.” —  Scott in Vancouver Island

Scott is the perfect person to lead us off for multiple reasons. In addition to bringing our preferred level of cynicism, he’s preaching to the choir. Some of the responses you’re about to read indicate that many Queerty readers also set similar gluttonous goals.

We love it!

“Have more sex!” — Raul in Staten Island

… As we were saying. Given the well-established health benefits of sex, we say that penetration is just as good as a workout!

“Approach more people in person. I’m tired of diddling on the apps and coming up empty.” — John in St. Petersburg

Great idea, John. There’s a viral essay this week in New York about what should be a universal resolution to “frictionmax” this year, and approaching people IRL is a part of that. The convenience of dating apps has tethered us to the algorithm, and decreased the chances of an electric and unexpected in person connection.

Log off the grid, and step out into the neighborhood bar. Or coffee shop. Or park. Or community center. Sounds good to us!

“To give up looking at p*rn for at least a week. Lasting for an hour felt like a week!” — Mark in Glasgow, Scotland

On the other hand, let us know how that goes for you, Mark. Please, no gooning…

“Cut back on my hookups because there all two hot and I’d want one every night of the week.” — Mark in Europe

OK, brag! Are we sure this isn’t the same Mark? If it is, even more of a reason to log off!

I resolved two years ago to slow down when driving. Keep to speed limits even if annoys other people. I’ve kept it up and my husband and my friends feel safer. — Tom in Sahuarita, Arizona

It’s time to slow things down–literally. America actually leads the developed world in traffic deaths, with a per-capita total that stands at about 50% higher than nations in Western Europe, Canada, Japan and Australia. Adhering to the speed limit is one of the best ways to improve traffic safety.

To return to our hedonistic theme: next time you reach a hookup’s house safely, thank Tom!

“F*ck any twink that walks by me. Broke up after being cheated on and became a hoe for a year. I was in my 50s. Gotta love that daddy vibe.” — Kevin in Washington State

We follow up Tom’s good manners with Kevin’s aggression. In the year, he’s going full speed… after twinks! We hear they make for easy prey.

“I vowed to cut back on my drinking to special occasions and social gatherings. I started drinking alone during [2020] and I didn’t want to continue. I cut it off before it become a habit.” — Josh in San Bernardino, California

Cheers to you Josh, and we don’t mean that ironically. Drinking rates skyrocketed during 2020, and we imagine many people were imbibing alone, because that’s what was encouraged! While experts largely agree that no alcohol is the best amount of alcohol, there is also a health benefit to socializing and celebrating. If you want to raise a glass with friends, we say cheers again!

“Stop spending money needlessly on people who don’t deserve it. If you’re not treating me, I’m not treating you. I’ve saved up quite a bit since then.” — Marcus in Jersey City

Sounds like a good plan, Marcus. No need to treat the ungrateful.

“I vowed to open up my mind to disco and I’ve been grooving ever since!” — Jeffrey in South Florida

Groovy! ????????

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