We’ve officially made it to December! Everyone, take a deep breath… and please resist the urge to make jokes about how gay your Spotify Wrapped is.
Even though we’re still battling the remnants of a holiday hangover, the LGBTQ+ news did not slow down this week. Not only did we get a glimpse of hope ray of light about the future of the Madonna biopic, but we also learned some very important information about The Iron Claw stars’ body shaving practices. Whew!
Thankfully, we’ve got retail therapy, throwback bops, and cute boys delivered via algorithm to calm us down when it starts to feel like it’s too much.
Cozy up on the couch and get ready to make a list… then check it twice. Here are the 10 things we’re obsessed with this week.
1. Southern Fried Sass: A Queen’s Guide to Cooking, Decorating, and Living Just a Little ‘Extra’ by Ginger Minj
Image Credit: Amazon/Getty Images
We could all use a little bit more “extra.” Ginger Minj has always been one of the most inspiring RuPaul’s Drag Race queens, so I was extra gagged to learn the drag icon released her own book. In Southern Fried Sass, Ginger spills with stories from three seasons on the acclaimed show, as well as more than 50 recipes, ranging from Red Barn BBQ Ribs to Better Than Sex Cake. (Intriguing, right?!)
I’m always hesitant to add a full-on cookbook to the library, so I was delighted to see Ginger peppers in both anecdotes and advice to this collection. If you’re missing a little Fried Green Tomatoes in your life, look no further than this Florida-born queen’s literary debut, starting at $24.48 on Amazon.
2. Stanley 2.0 Flip Straw Tumbler Cup
Image Credit: Urban Outfitters
Considering collecting brand names and labels has become a status symbol, I’ve always been particularly amused by the rise of “The Expensive Water Bottle.” Although Hydroflask and Yeti came before it, I can’t bring myself to underwrite these new to-go sippers from Stanley. With double-wall vacuum insulation, a cupholder-friendly shape, handy straw, and 30 ounces of liquid-storing capability, I think I may be a convert. The bottles’ quirky patterns –– like Pool Swirl and Iris Swirl, available for $35 at Urban Outfitters –– don’t hurt, either.
If that’s not enough, check out this TikTok from a woman whose car burned down. Though her interior was torched, the ice in her Stanley cup never melted. If that’s not a flex, I don’t know what it is.
3. This adult-friendly Christmas pop-up Santa’s Secret
Who says Christmas is just for the kids? Welcome to Santa’s Secret, a jam-packed (and completely Instagrammable) holiday experience. This grownup-focused event allows visitors to walk through larger than life holiday installations –– like dancing nutcrackers, rugged lumberjacks, and a life-sized Barbie and Ken –– before hitting up Santa’s very own speakeasy. With a warm libation in hand, guests are then treated to performances by ballet and burlesque dancers, avant-garde entertainers, and a five-piece band. And if that wasn’t enough, it’s all hosted by Drag Race alum Asia O’Hara. (Fingers crossed that I make the naughty list guest list.)
Tickets for the immersive event start at $58, and it runs until December 31 in both New York City and Los Angeles.
4. Josh Hutcherson with a mullet
Josh as Derek Danforth in new promotion picture for ‘The Beekeeper’ in theaters January 12th! pic.twitter.com/zoXBVvYjvu— Josh Hutcherson Updates ? (@JHutchFiles) November 26, 2023
Little is known about Amazon MGM Studios’ upcoming action film The Beekeeper, except that it’s led by Jason Staham and hits theaters on January 12, 2024. However, a recent promo pic revealed that co-star Josh Hutcherson sports a mullet in the flick.
Suddenly, I’m clutching my own achy breaky heart. No additional commentary necessary.
5. Pop Star Lighters
Image Credit: Friends NYC
As they say in Harry Potter, the wand chooses the wizard lighter chooses the smoker. Friends NYC’s collection of pop star lighters –– including LGBTQ+ ally faves like Taylor Swift, Britney Spears, Dolly Parton, and Cher –– is unparalleled in star power. Gone are the days of igniting a flame via a primary colored ignitor… or a free matchbook.
If you’re looking for a light that sparks both a flame and a conversation, look no further than their assortment (priced $7.99 – $14.49). How’s that for “Emotional Fire”?
This hilarious TikTok from @marysteakmediumrare –– featuring a dog who growls every time it sees two boys kissing –– recently went viral, and I can’t stop laughing. Maybe the pooch was jealous? Perhaps it was emotionally scarred after seeing Brokeback Mountain?! Regardless, there’s no doubt this demon dog Chihuahua definitely voted red in the 2020 election.
7. Cup O’ Coffee Face and Body Mask
Image Credit: Lush Cosmetics
Skincare… where does one even begin? It seems like every person –– and company–– has a differing dogma on how-to (and how-to-not) refresh their facade. Still, my favorite and most affective products have always come from Lush.
Their Cup O’ Coffee Face and Body Mask (5.3 oz for $17 and 11.5 oz for $33 online) has never disappointed. The coffee-filled scrub invigorates your skin with both its scent and texture, brushing away dryness and waking you up mentally and physically. If you live for the smell of Folgers in your cup –– or the smell of a Starbucks has gotten you erotically charged –– this one is for you.
8. “Murder on the Dance Floor” by Sophie Ellis-Bextor
I’m going to be honest, I had no idea who Sophie Ellis-Bextor was when she recently appeared as a guest judge on Drag Race UK. However, after hearing her song during the sexy final scene of Saltburn, I understand why she’s reached a Robyn-like status across the pond.
Spoilers aside, this 2001 Grease–spoofing bop is as addictive as it is danceable. If you’re looking to give Mariah Carey’s Christmas album a break, I highly recommend peppering this one into your playlists.
9. Pride Christmas Nutcracker Figure
Image Credit: Joann
They had me at “Pride” and “nutcracker.” Double entendres aside, queer Christmas decorations have become a lightning rod for political outrage, which makes me even happier that Joann –– the queen of all craft stores –– has these lil’ gay soldiers in stock. They are ready to slay the Rat King and serve the house down boots. And considering I come from a family with a collection of more than 100 nutcrackers (I wish I was kidding), adding this fruity prince to the shelf has been a long time coming.
Your mom’s favorite department store has two 15 inch-tall LGBTQ+ options this year (on sale for a limited time at $9.99 online) that will surely make your yuletide gayer.
10. Jake Gyllenhaal gets sweaty in the ring
Image Credit: Amazon Studios
I don’t know where this movie came from, but I am so happy it exists. These pics of a beefed up Jake Gyllenhaal have been making the rounds (again) on Twitter X, and all of the sudden I’m a UFC fan. The snaps are from an upcoming reboot of Road House –– you know, that ’80s action flick that helped put Patrick Swayze on the map. Gyllenhaal portrays a former UFC fighter who scores a gig working security at a dive bar.
Unfortunately, it seems we won’t get a chance to see Jake on the big screen as Amazon recently confirmed the movie will go straight to streaming in 2024.
Still, with The Iron Claw (starring Zac Efron, Jeremy Allen White, and Harris Dickinson) also hitting theaters this year, it seems we’ve reached a Golden Age for straights stripping down to fight. Merry Christmas indeed!
