Kylie Minogue’s new music video causes a gay earthquake & we’ve been completely knocked off our axis

Kylie Minogue fans are eating today.

While the Australian pop diva has been feeding the children since she first started dropping bangers in the late ’80s with “The Loco-Motion,” the gays have been crying out for more nourishment in the years since she dropped her 2020 dance opus Disco.

Fun fact: Released on November 6, 2020, Disco was the first great album of the Biden presidency. Fact!

Last week, the 54-year-old songstress doled out some morsels to queers around the world by announcing her 16th studio album, Tension, would be released into the wild on September 22 and the first single, “Padam Padam,” was “coming soon.” While not a full meal, it felt like manna from heaven.

Well on Thursday, Mother Minogue dropped a smorgasbord of earthly delights by unleashing the euphoric music video to “Padam Padam,” which immediately turned the Earth off its axis and registered a 10.0 on the gay richter scale.

Watch the launch of Queen Kylie’s new red-hot dance era below:

“Padam Padam” derives its name for the sound of a heartbeat, which seems appropriate since the video definitely gets your blood pumping.

In the clip, Kylie embraces her more devilish side decked out in a red gloved bodysuit, thigh-high leather boots and chiffon cape as she holds court over a sea of dancers at a roadside motel.

Amid a thumping beat, Kylie asserts her deity status as she vamps it up atop of an abandoned car with her cape and hair blowing up to Beyonce-level heights.

While there may be competition from the likes of Jessie Ware, Kim Petras, Alison Goldfrapp, and Ice Spice, Minogue is currently in contention for dance bop of the summer!

Despite only clocking in at 2 minutes and 40 seconds, the video’s impact still had Gay Twitter in full-on meltdown mode.

YES!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/IL3CRzjIFv— Hey. I’m David. Hey. (@DPB0101) May 18, 2023

Obssesed pic.twitter.com/i8kWuM5e6h— afonsinha nunes (@falsiane) May 18, 2023

#PadamPadam is übercool for many reasons, but this moment with @kylieminogue on the makes video history. I`d love to know, where was the fan? Love from Croatia to Padam Padam and Tension pic.twitter.com/RC08bdEhho— DEANhr (@DROWNED062001) May 18, 2023

pic.twitter.com/SsIwlNRDL4— eric (@Eric85ar) May 18, 2023

Oh the chiffonography!— Jeff Kendall (@JeffKendallXXX) May 18, 2023

on behalf of everyone, thank u for ending @ladygaga — Messica Simpson (@helloryry) May 18, 2023

It’s so good! Obsessed with everything! Especially the dip dye hair — Elliott Lucas (mama) (@elli0000tt) May 18, 2023

Queen This is much more than I expected.— Marco Rabanne (@MarcoRabanne) May 18, 2023

pic.twitter.com/EHDfbJPOzN— ariely (@sinadiemequiere) May 18, 2023

MOTHER IS MOTHERING pic.twitter.com/IpqKFAbFQf— NintendHoe (@no_soy_bryan) May 18, 2023

Mama you ATE — James Fluker | This account supports rights (@JamesFluker) May 18, 2023

#KylieMinogue #PadamPadam pic.twitter.com/opnnMbfxuZ— Imperio (@Desangelus) May 18, 2023

With fans in a frenzy over the track, there’s no telling what kind of pandemonium the entire Tension album will conjure up.

“I started this album with an open mind and a blank page,” Minogue said in a press release. “Unlike my last two albums there wasn’t a ‘theme’, it was about finding the heart or the fun or the fantasy of that moment and always trying to service the song. I wanted to celebrate each song’s individuality and to dive into that freedom. I would say it’s a blend of personal reflection, club abandon and melancholic high.”

Here is the Tension track list:

1. “Padam Padam”
2. “Hold On to Now”
3. “Things We Do for Love”
4. “Tension”
5. “One More Time”
6. “You Still Get Me High”
7. “Hands”
8. “Green Light”
9. “Vegas High”
10. “10 out of 10” (with Oliver Heldens)
11. “Story”

Minogue has yet to disclose any tour plans, but US fans will probably get to see her sing “Padam Padam” live very soon. The Grammy-winner is scheduled to perform at the American Idol finale on Sunday, May 21st.