Paul Rudd reveals his “huge” package made him “very self-conscious” as a teen
Apparently, there's nothing small about Ant-Man.
Mark
It appears that Paul Rudd, comedic actor, our stepbrother crush in Clueless, and People Magazine‘s 2021 Sexiest Man Alive, is seriously packing — and that’s no joke.
The 56-year-old has been making the rounds to promote his new action-adventure comedy Anaconda — hold the jokes, please — and his recent appearance on Rick Glassman’s Take Your Shoes Off podcast was chaotic and eye-opening, to say the least.
How about we take this to the next level?
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As seen in a clip circulating on social media, the host got down and dirty quickly, telling Rudd point-blank: “People don’t know how big your penis is.” Reader, let us tell you, we were all ears.
Watch.
@shoesoffpod Is M****t Offensive? #takeyourshoesoff ep 336 with Paul Rudd @rickglassman #standup #comedypodcast #funny #paulrudd ♬ original sound – Take Your Shoes Off Podcast
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Rudd seemed to acknowledge the compliment with a smile, and explained that he’s “never been naked in a movie” because he’s “a fairly private person.”
“I don’t wanna be just wagging my d*ck all over the place,” he joked. “I’m not Harvey Keitel in The Piano.” (Props to the podcast editor for including a blurred-out screenshot of said gratuitous scene.)
Of course, the topic of Paul’s endowment came up in a callback to his previous appearance on the satirical podcast in July 2025, where an assistant, portrayed by Michael Cera, spilled hot coffee on the actor, causing him to strip down, sh*t himself, fall down a flight of stairs, and get rushed off in an ambulance. (To quote Brian Cox from HBO’s Succession, these are “deeply unserious people.”)
While looking back on the ridiculous moment, Glassman recalled Rudd’s “huge penis,” though the actor “didn’t realize that [he] even saw [it.]”
As Glassman explained, “it was hard to miss even when it’s soft,” and if blurring out Rudd’s poop took him “down two points,” showing his penis “raises [him] four.” OMG!!
There was also a joke about a big head and foreskin in there somewhere, but we digress.
We know what you’re thinking: So, this whole thing is basically a joke.
But not exactly.
Yes, last year’s clip of Rudd pooping himself was probably a gag to promote his film Friendship. But while filming the sequence, Glassman got up close and personal with the hunk’s nether regions, and his most recent comments seem to be recounting some firsthand knowledge.
Later in the interview, Glassman began to ask, “How old were you when you realized-” to which Rudd responded, “That I had a big ol’ dong?” LOL.
“It wasn’t really young,” Rudd added. “Probably like junior high, maybe? I was … very self-conscious about getting ready in gym class.”
The actor, who hilariously portrayed Ant-Man, also recalled a kid in the seventh-grade locker room with “a massive bush” named Babak — which Glassman noted was also “the noise it makes when [Rudd’s] d*ck hits the wall.” Oop!
@shoesoffpod Ba-Bush #takeyourshoesoff ep 336 with Paul Rudd@rickglassman #standup #comedypodcast #funny #paulrudd ♬ original sound – Take Your Shoes Off Podcast
At this point, we can only take Glassman’s comments (and Rudd’s knowing winks) at face value.
These funny men might be seriously ridiculous, but they’ve also seriously got us interested in Rudd’s new movie with Jack Black.
Even if it’s only to catch a glimpse of the actor’s own, erm, anaconda.
Watch the trailer for Anaconda below.
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