The Dairy Daddies are our new favorite baseball team & they’re ready to milk the minor league dry

Minor league baseball teams are known for fun mascots and quirky names. But one new club in southern Virginia is taking the gimmick to a whole udder level.

Introducing… the Danville Dairy Daddies!

These ball-playing bovines are ready to cream the competition .

How about we take this to the next level?

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“First and foremost, it is an homage to what is still the most prominent economic sector here throughout southern Virginia,” team general manager Austin Scher told sportslogos.net, “which is agriculture.”

“There are families and generations of families throughout Danville and southern Virginia that grew up, if not on a dairy farm directly, up the road from a dairy farm, or they went to school or church or played youth sports with dairy farmers or children of dairy farmers.”

The Dairy Daddies will play in the Old North State League, a collegiate-level summer league that features many other teams with fun-loving titles, including the High Point Hushpuppies, Hendersonville Honeycrisps and the Brunswick Surfin’ Turks.

With clubs scattered throughout Appalachia, the Old North State League is one of the largest summer collegiate leagues in the U.S. And the Dairy Daddies are ready to make their mark milk.

As one would expect, the Dairy Daddies’ mascot is pretty awesome (with some subtle gay undertones). This creature is giving pure daddy vibes, complete with a chiseled chest and imposing belt buckle.

Oh, and we should mention this cow is actually a bull. McCreamy, with his classic blue jeans and broad build, owns the farm.

“He is a bull. This is a Dairy Daddy,” said Dan Simon, who created the brand. “The whole concept centers around the word ‘Daddies.’ The point is, this is a smooth bovine. You know, he’s your daddy.”

Is he ever! McCreamy can milk our wallets dry any time. (It’s safe to say he’s really, really horny.)

Where can we sign up for season tix?!

The Dairy Daddies will have some competition this season in Danville, an agricultural town of 42,590 that borders North Carolina. The Otterbots, who play in the Appalachian League, also call the city home.

With a shameful racist history–Danville was the last capital of the Confederacy and town facilities remained segregated until the passage of the Civil Rights Act in 1964–the city is undergoing a revitalization.

McCreamy, with all of his complexities, epitomizes the change. His creator, Simon, says McCreamy is a smooth talker like Friends‘ Joey Tribbiani and ripped like baseball’s famous Bash Brothers, Mark McGwire and Jose Canseco.

This overtly masculine creature decked out in “strawberry milk pink” is a walking contradiction. And that’s precisely the point.

“We here in Danville view not just the club, not just the team here, but we view the city and the region and its current rebirth and vastly bright future as undeniable,” said Scher. “We look at this brand as an outward way to say Danville as a city, southern Virginia as a region, we’re here, you cannot ignore us anymore, we’re not going anywhere, so it’s time to get familiar.”

With merchandise on sale (and available in grades of milk), the Dairy Daddies could soon become ubiquitous. We’ll do anything for this beautiful bovine.

After all, we’re just following Daddy’s orders…