This vintage invite shows how queer people navigated “sinful” sex parties back in the day

It’s not an understatement to say that queer life in the pre-Stonewall era was not a fun time for most. In an era when queerness was criminalized across the country, gay and trans people had to rely on deep secrecy and coded language to create queer safe spaces which could be raided at any moment.

But as always, when things got hard, the queer community got resilient.

How about we take this to the next level?

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“We lived not in closets, but in an underground world that had many parallels with the life of a drinker during the 14 years of Prohibition,” wrote gay diarist Donald Vining of the time before Gay Liberation.

“Even the speakeasy passwords had a parallel in the gay world. Just as the drinkers of the era enjoyed mocking and defying the forces of the law, so we relished the sub rosa aspects of gay life, feeling we were outwitting our opponents. The baths could be raided, yes,… when they were, the scene of action simply moved elsewhere.” 

Sometimes, the scene of action was in someone’s home. It was safer than a bar that could be raided, and much more private.

Even after 1969, private parties remained a safe place to meet, hook up, and kiki away from prying eyes. And thankfully, we have plenty of evidence of such parties to remind us of the steamy days gone by.

On Instagram, archivist Rachel Trusty’s account is a fantastic place to peruse the queer past. Recently, Trusty posted some photos of a printed invitation to what seems to have been a rollicking lesbian kink party in the late 1970s or early 1980s.

Taken from a (now-suspended) account on X, the original caption read: “It was an invitation to a private party, done on a typewriter and then photocopied. It was then shared with a limited invitation list. These sorts of parties were private and hence the invitations weren’t widely distributed. The image was also a photocopy of a drawing in some book of k*nky er*tica that was available at the time.”

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Seems like it was a pretty amazing time all around. A sinfully outrageous event? Sounds gay—we’re in!

According to the original poster, such parties were common in the ’70s and ’80s as the Bay Area kinky sapphic scene started to gain ground. They also recommend taking a look at “Coming to Power: writings and graphics on lesbian S/M” for more context.

The full book in question is, thankfully, available on Internet Archive, and it’s quite an incredible document that’s full of such graphics from past eras. Here are just a few samples:

I don’t know about you, but I always appreciate an outline of proper 0rgy behavior.

There’s also a chapter called “How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My D*ldo,” which is an entire mood. This sultry scene was well-attended clearly, and these parties sound incredibly fun. They were a community-building exercise for queer women coming into their sexuality.

It just goes to show: Partying—and kink—have always been a part of queer resistance, and don’t let anyone tell you any different.

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