Writer defends lonely straight men with a homophobic “think-piece” that’s all about gay sex
When one looks up the definition of "triggered," there should be a hyperlink to this homophobic op-ed...
Mark
When one looks up the definition of “triggered,” there should be a hyperlink to this homophobic op-ed by someone allegedly named Olivia Murray.
Murray takes umbrage with a Vox article by Alex Abad-Santos published earlier this summer that examines why straight men are bad at gossiping. In it, Abad-Santos disproves the perception that men dislike gossip, and asks whether their engagement in the chatty act could help alleviate the much-discussed male loneliness epidemic.
“If intimacy is defined, in part, by the idea of sharing stories with one another, it’s not that difficult to see men who are bad at gossip hit with a lose-lose situation,” he writes.
It’s true that social disconnection is a serious problem among men. In a 2021 survey, 15% of men said they didn’t have close friends, up from 3% in 1990. The premise of Abad-Santos’ article pushes back against the long-held notion that gossip is intrinsically negative, instead linking the act to intimacy.
How about we take this to the next level?
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The act of gossiping–sharing information about others–is a way to strengthen bonds. A 2019 study found that “men and women gossip positively and negatively at similar rates, but that women gossip neutrally more than men.”
And therein lies why women are better tea-spillers than their male counterparts. They have more practice!
The Vox piece explains possible reasons why, including the misogynistic undertones historically attached to chit-chat. With these stereotypes in mind, it makes sense that gay men are more adapt at the art form. We’re all about flaunting gender norms, after all!
Straight men are socialized to avoid inquiry. They all think they’re Teddy Roosevelt or something, trying to “speak softly and carry a big stick.” Too bad few possess the latter! As a result, they must spill the tea. We don’t make the rules.
Now, back to Murray.
If it sounds like we’re the ones trying to be lambasted in a publication called American Thinker–whose logo depicts a stylized image of Uncle Sam sitting in a pose that mimics Auguste Rodin’s famous sculpture The Thinker, but actually looks like he’s sitting on the toilet–you would be correct.
On Tuesday, it published Murray’s column that draws wild assertions from the six-week-old Vox article: “Vox: If only straight men were actually gay, then they wouldn’t be so lonely.”
Keep in mind, the piece doesn’t say that at all. We’re wondering if maybe straight guys would benefit from opening up to one another… not to us!
For the love of Touchdown Jesus, no!
After four paragraphs–three of which ask rhetorical questions–Murray arrives at the real point of her screed: railing against gay men’s sex lives.
“First of all, gay men are notorious for having the most indiscriminate attitudes when it comes time to sex, which is possibly the reason that gay men are also known for having some of the most disturbing and deeply unhealthy sex lives seen on the human spectrum,” she writes.
From there, she flings an array of ad-hominem attacks before wildly mischaracterizing a 2017 HuffPost feature about gay loneliness.
That piece, written by Michael Hobbes, tries to explain two contradictions: gay men are more free, more accepted and more financially successful than ever. Yet, they continue to suffer from exponentially high rates of loneliness, substance abuse and depression.
The diverging realities highlight the noxious and long-lasting effects of social and institutional discrimination. But it appears Murray didn’t think about that.
Shocker!
“While men as a whole are struggling with isolation and mental health issues, gay men are vastly more at risk, and it’s not because of social attitudes or ‘non-acceptance’ as the narrative so often goes,” she writes, mischaracterizing the entire article.
Here’s what the feature actually says:
All of these unbearable statistics lead to the same conclusion: It is still dangerously alienating to go through life as a man attracted to other men.
The numbers show that a lot of straight men are experiencing similar alienation, despite enjoying many social advantages. You would think strong conservatives would want all the men in their lives to experience friendship and connection. But maybe not.
It looks like we have a “mankeeper” on our hands. Eek!
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