Gay, bi, and queer characters have been staking out a bigger claim in film and television, but as anyone who follows GLAAD’s research can attest, representation of LGBTQ characters has to be about quality and not just quantity.
In a recent Reddit thread, gay men discussed the gay representation they’d like to see more of in media. And many of the most popular comments had a common refrain: Gay guys just want to see familiar-looking gay guys living familiar-seeming lives and having everyday triumphs and troubles. In other words, they want media to put the “normal” in gay normalization. Whatever “normal” means!
Here are some of the top comments from the thread:
“Lower-class or working-class” gays
“Personally, I’d like to see more representation of gay men who struggle financially. Like, gay men who come from lower-class or working-class kinds of backgrounds. It seems like a lot of the gay characters in most TV shows and movies come from middle-class or upper-class kinds of backgrounds. I’d also like to see more representation of gay men who aren’t conventionally attractive. Like, gay men who aren’t muscular.”
“A character who struggles with something other than being gay and/or their masculinity”
“I want a character who struggles with something other than being gay and/or their masculinity. Give me a chubby gay guy who deals with lookism or body image, an impoverished gay guy, a gay guy with no direction in life… all the same problems as others. Also, different body types other than skinny twink or muscular jock. Average-looking, ugly-looking, scarred up, short, tall, fat, wrinkly, whatever. Oh, and gay main characters… especially in non-romance and especially non-high school romance [storylines]. It feels like gay men are either non-existent or they end up being some background character that doesn’t get much spotlight.”
“More mundane stories”
“‘Boring’ relationships. I want to see more mundane stories, not stories that end in overdose, murder, disease, and absolute chaos. I’m tired of everything being a tragedy. I want more stories and characters that aren’t fixated on glamour, youth, shallow ties, bodies. Characters that aren’t petty or constantly snarky. Also, more elder gays.”
“Normal relationships between two men”
“Gay couples that are just there without anyone making a big deal about it or making it part of some gay plot line. Guys who do not revolve around going to bars, clubs, circuit parties, gay beach getaways, and whatever the f*ck. Unaffected men who speak like normal human beings. Normal relationships between two men that don’t involve drugs, weird emotional issues/trauma, betrayal, or violence. Just normal, healthy relationships. No one dying or being killed. No one being ousted or destroyed by their community. Just normal life problems and happy endings.”
“I didn’t realize how many unresolved issues I had been carrying around until I just binged the show.”
“More accurate representation in terms of homophobia”
“I like the idea of more low-income gays in media. Also, femme gays who aren’t stereotypically gay—e.g. I would never be described as masculine by most, but I also don’t wear women’s clothing or nail polish. Also, more nuanced gay relationships; I have a long-term boyfriend, and we’re monogamous, and you only see that in very Lifetimey gays, and I wanna see stuff about the relationship that isn’t sex-based. Also, weird/non-typical/not traditionally ‘handsome’ gays. Guys who like [Dungeons and Dragons] or anime, who aren’t focused on being hot so they can hook up. I wanna see everyday trials and tribulations that are affected by being gay without it being the sole subject matter.
“I also want to see more accurate representation in terms of homophobia. I lived downtown in a major U.S. city over the past year or so, and every day on the street, I’d get some homophobic remark or abuse from someone. People act like gays are accepted and it’s a non-issue because gay marriage passed, and I still have to deal with this crap all the time. I wanna see men who deal with this and are still thriving, because it’s very hard on my mental wellbeing, and it just gets glossed over. Also, more PDA than a quick peck. I’m not looking for adult films, but I want to see gay men who love each other and aren’t afraid of showing it, an example being the couple from Modern Family. They seemed more like very close bros than husbands.”
“Same-sex stuff” in advertising
“Just… same-sex stuff. Car adverts, jewelry adverts, grocery store adverts—basic society stuff in every aspect of what is seen in every bit of general media from the ads to the TV shows or film. It’s better than it was, but hoo boy, it could be much improved.”
“Gay people living normal, happy lives”
“Honestly, just gay people living normal, happy lives. One of my favorite gay shows is Schitt’s Creek because it doesn’t show being gay through a lens of tragedy or constant struggle. It shows what we could have in the world: just people living and existing.”
“More disabled gay characters”
“More disabled gay characters, because it’s exhausting reminding y’all we exist and deserve love too.”
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