Ditch those 5-inch inseams! This summer, the gays are going even shorter!
How do you think you would look in 3-inch inseams?
Fashion is cyclical. One summer we’re wearing baggy cargo shorts, and the next summer we’re wearing… 3-inch inseams?!
That’s right, millennial gays can stop panicking. Though Gen Z appeared to be leading us into the XXL section, we’ve reclaimed our thighs from all that loose fabric, and set them free.
Nike’s 3-inch logo volley shorts are back on the market. Who wants one? We do!
How about we take this to the next level?
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brothers… its time. the slutty Nike shorts got sluttier for the summer pic.twitter.com/4LoNHDqrfc— kate bush's husband (@airbagged) May 11, 2024
It was just nine months ago when Joel Kim Booster, and others, proclaimed that booty shorts were out and big shorts were in. The trend continued throughout the winter, with skinny jeans giving way to really, really large pants.
But similarly to other sudden cultural shifts, there’s been an apparent backlash to the oversized craze. We’re walking right past the 5-inch inseams, and heading straight to the butt-huggers.
To our 30ish-something eyes, the fit is 
Related
Baggy shorts are in, short shorts are out, and millennial gays are very, very unhappy
Actor Joel Kim Booster says it’s been a big shorts summer.
fit check pic.twitter.com/e2WoxYNyN8— Colin Robinson (@fermiparasocks) May 11, 2024
went hunting https://t.co/yhgk7r9A8N pic.twitter.com/psvUxv7e3G— jay ☆ (@jayshardrive) May 16, 2024
aht aht— sluttier https://t.co/NF8EWKNKcs pic.twitter.com/dyE97X7jme— jr (@jamesearl23) May 13, 2024
It only makes sense that gays would want to show off their glorious glutes. Unlike the straights, we take leg day seriously!
Thicc thighs save lives… or at least grab our attention. 
A 2021 survey of 102 gay men found that 37% of respondents prefer a bigger lower body, and 48% like to see an athletic upper body paired with a strong butt.
For comparison’s sake, 32% of respondents said they prefer a bigger upper body, and only 20% lust after a huge upper body with a weak butt.
It’s also worth noting that many of our favorite celebs never bought into the big shorts trend. Just a couple of days ago, Matt Bomer was photographed in itty-bitty booty shorts on the beach, raising our gay antennas straight to attention. (He’s filming his new movie, a dark comedy called Outcome.)
But perhaps no group of male celebs has embraced teeny-tiny shorts more than hunky heteros. Paul Mescal has been our unabashed short shorts king for a while, though competition is fierce. Quadricep-baring aficionados like Milo Ventimiglliai, Jake Gyllenhaal, The Rock, and Cristiano Ronaldo all have strong man-thigh games.
Star Trek stud Chris Pine put it best when he was pictured wearing white short shorts. “I don’t think there is anything to defend,” he said about his shorts game. “It’s called short shorts, isn’t it? It’s supposed to be short.”
No argument here!
Teardrop quads out with the Clairo hoodie… this man is a pro. pic.twitter.com/MCGRFTFoXE— Chris Black (@donetodeath) October 28, 2023
OFC, there could never be any talk about short shorts without hoards of gay men using the discourse as an opportunity to humble brag about their (supposed) assets. All week long, gays have been bemoaning about how they can’t wear 3-inch in seams, because, you know…
To which we say: step up and show us! Seeing is believing, after all.
A lot of yall talking but none are showing https://t.co/ZjgihlMoel— Rich (@therichanthony) May 15, 2024
Oh? You cant wear these bc ur dick and balls are going to hang out? Should we call a press conference? Alert the media? https://t.co/Wx1wsKJOwK— 360_mat (@matticure) May 15, 2024
Interesting that “dick will fall out of shorts (negative)” is the focus here re: length rather than “giving an indescribably erotic glimpse of underwear bulge when sitting (positive)” https://t.co/CGHe9vJ1Fm— adam (@adamjmoussa) May 15, 2024
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