Hang out on Reddit long enough, and you’ll eventually see transphobic attitudes show up—explicitly and implicitly—in queer communities on the platform. And social media is, of course, a microcosm of society—one in which some think LGB equality is an acceptable substitute for LGBT equality.
One Reddit user recently shed light on transphobia in the gay male population. That user, a 27-year-old trans man, said that although he loves being gay and trans, his interactions with cis gay men “[have], by and large, been less than ideal.”
That user continued: “I won’t get into any of the gritty details, but it’s usually enough to the point that I’ve left gay men’s spaces, clubs, apps, etc. I’ve met some really lovely cis gay men as well, but most often the transphobia is so frequent and so casual, that I feel very ostracized by a community who I assumed would have my back. I find myself wondering if I can even be a part of this community.”
‘Beyond The Aggressives’ is a fascinating look at how far we’ve come—and just how far we still have to go.
Unfortunately, some of the comments on that post were invalidating if not straight-up transphobic.
Thankfully, other people on the thread spoke up and offered words of wisdom.
“I think that we as gay men should understand what it’s like to be in a community that is constantly under attack—which means that we shouldn’t attack any other community,” one Redditor wrote. “I don’t tolerate transphobia at all. We should all be kind to each other.”
Another commenter said, “Personally, I try to combat it when I see it. Call out behavior that’s transphobic or honestly shame people when they say gross sh*t. Trans men deserve better and to be respected as the men they are, especially by gay men. … We as cis gay men should help combat transphobia and defend trans men when we see things happening. If no one does anything, it’ll keep happening—gotta uplift and protect our trans brothers.”
A third Reddit user said people with authority can shut down transphobia more easily. “As an example, the current artistic director of the Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus has used his position to be an ally by writing and having them perform songs about trans experiences, putting together musical programs about intersectionality of all kinds, and generally making his own views about intolerance well known,” that user wrote. “In the time he has been director, some long-term members of the chorus have gained the courage to come out as enby or trans, and others have also joined, which in turn leads to many more cis gay men getting to know trans people as one of ‘us’ rather than one of ‘them.’”
And someone else dropped a history lesson: “I once had a gay man tell me that the trans community was ‘holding us back.’ I was like, no, it’s that attitude that’s holding us back,” that Redditor wrote. “We of all people should treat everyone respectfully and how we want to be treated. There’s no need to attack members of our own community, especially those members who have been with us in the trenches since the beginning.”
If you’d like to supercharge your trans allyship after reading those rallying cries, check out GLAAD’s list of best practices.
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