Is Gay Twitter™ over? The frantic migration to Threads is starting, and then stopping

Gay Twitter is experiencing whiplash. With Elon Musk making the bird app increasingly worse and chaotic, there is a frantic search for an alternative.

But so far, those efforts have been futile. Gays are jumping from app to app, ditching each one like a failed Grindr hookup.

Could Musk… have us trapped?!

The meme-stealing billionaire is seemingly on a mission to ruin Twitter, which worked fine before he took over! Up until last weekend, his worst move was making verification a pay-for-play scheme, stripping the blue check mark of any legitimacy.

Now, all of the trolling “reply guys” are at the top of every feed, burying our brilliance!

And yet, even with that irritating inconvenience, Gay Twitter has persisted. We’ve stuck it out through the annoying “For You” tab, inexplicable glitches and reintroduction of suspended users, most of whom are hateful and vile and, of course, homophobic.

But last weekend, Musk touched our last gay nerve. Without warning, Twitter announced unverified users would be limited to viewing only 600 posts per day.

Mama, Gay Twitter eats 600 posts for breakfast, and even more if there’s a chicken tender thief on Fire Island!

Within moments of Musk’s pointless proclamation, members of Gay Twitter started passing around codes to a new app called Bluesky. It was the social media version of handing out wristbands to an “exclusive” afters.

So cool!

For the blissfully unaware, Bluesky is the latest Twitter imitator to gain steam–or at least it was for a couple of days. With Jack Dorsey’s backing, Bluesky looks a lot like Twitter, featuring a nearly identical interface. Instead of tweets, users send out “skeets,” though the company’s CEO is desperately trying to change that.

And unlike Mastodon (another Twitter replacement that briefly gained traction), Bluesky is easy to use. There are no servers or anything weird like that.

By July 4, the migration was in full force.

But then Mark Zuckerberg entered the equation. On Wednesday, Instagram unveiled its “Twitter Killer:” Threads.

More than 10 million people signed up within seven hours of its launch.

If any app can capitalize on Twitter’s turmoil, conventional wisdom says it will be Threads. For starters, it’s backed by Meta, and has access to Instagram’s massive user base of more than 2 billion active users.

For synergy purposes, a user’s Instagram handle must also be their Threads user name. People can also import their Insta follows to Threads, ensuring that Twitter Gays won’t lose their reach.

That’s very, very important.

It seemingly took less than one day for Threads to supplant Twitter. Congrats to Daddy Zuck!

But alas, good things cannot last. Gays quickly discovered one big problem with Threads: no nudes!

That’s right: posting “pole” is against the rules.

How homophobic!

The gays won’t be on Threads because it’s moderated to within an inch of its life. No nudes. Nudes are a fundamental currency in gay subculture.— Luke (but gay) (@lukeacl) July 6, 2023

So there you have it. After a dizzying five days, Gay Twitter is still on…Gay Twitter. Elon Musk can’t chase us away, no matter how hard he tries.