Lara Trump is trying to be a SeRiOuS nEwScAsTeR & it’s going about as well as you’d imagine

When it comes to discussing the pressing issues of our time, Lara Trump knows what’s important: whether her father-in-law will have time to hit the green!

Eric Trump‘s wife was talking about the disgraced ex-president’s golf game on a recent edition of her show “The Right View” (39% approval on Google).

She predicts that Donald Trump won’t be able to enjoy the gaudy confines of his golf clubs over the next year, because he’ll be in prison an election victory is within his greasy grasps.

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Then he’ll apparently… be too busy to play golf? Despite playing every 5.6 days on average during his first term?

“He’s not gonna have a lot of time for golfing, coming up,” she said. “Hasn’t had a lot of time recently, for a whole lot of golf.”

Boo hoo.

Lara is right about one thing: our quadruply-indicted, twice-impeached, one-term ex-president is busy. He’s jumping from courtroom to courtroom, writing $83.3 million checks along the way.

Trump is still awaiting the judge’s ruling in his $370 million fraud trail against New York, which could prevent him from ever operating a business within the Empire State ever again.

Oh, and those are just the civil cases. He’s also facing four criminal cases and 91 felonies, including charges on leaving highly classified docs around Mar-a-Lago, trying to overturn the 2020 election and inciting an insurrection.

You know, nothing major!

With all of those trials on the docket, Trump may not be blessed with a lot of time to lie about his golf score over the next year. He will be sitting across from a judge. Or, in Lara’s telling, behind the Resolute Desk.

“Then come of course, January 20, 2025, not a lot of time for golf, cause we’re gonna have a country to save,” she declared. “And I think it’s gonna be Donald Trump who’s gonna be doing the saving of this country.”

But wait, there’s more!

“So he’s gotta get a little in now,” she added.

Exactly. All work and no play makes for a very sad authoritarian!

He won’t have time for golf because he’ll be in prison.— Ben Anderson (@ben_the_dem) February 8, 2024

Before we go further, we’ve got to talk about Lara living her newscaster fantasy. Sitting in front of a bad green screen, she looks straight into the camera and delivers her very serious message.

“We’re gonna have a country to save. … And I think it’s gonna be Donald Trump who’s gonna be doing the saving of this country,” she affirmed.

Walter Cronkite couldn’t have said it better himself.

Lara also looks the part, dressed in a black, long-sleeve shirt. It was quite the contrast from her revealing look on New Year’s Eve, “complete with a bedazzled sheer bodice and a high slit to the waist that fully exposed her legs,” wrote Queerty’s own Johnny Lopez.

The 41-year-old former Inside Edition producer caused a MAGA revolt!

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Lara Trump causes a MAGA revolt with her revealing New Year’s Eve dress 

In the MAGAverse, an insurrection, two impeachments and four indictments can’t compare to the damage wielded by one low-cut gown.

Amazingly, that wasn’t Lara’s only wardrobe incident of 2023. She was also… MAGA Barbie.

Talk about missing the point! Barbie is about fighting the patriarchy; MAGA is about fealty to an alleged sexual assaulter (among many, many other things).

In the midst of an apparent dress-up phase, Lara also spent time last fall impersonating a rock star. She recorded a terrible cover version Tom Petty’s “Don’t Back Down,” and then complained when radio stations wouldn’t play it.

In an especially embarrassing appearance with Sean Hannity, Lara claimed her Times Square billboard was taken down.

What does a girl got to do to make it in this world?!

“About two hours before the billboard went up, they called and said ‘We can’t put it up with the last name ‘Trump.’ Could we just use ‘Lara?’ I said, ‘Absolutely not! My name is Lara Trump, I’m proud of that name. That’s my song. That’s what I paid, and that’s what we want up there,’” she cried.

Though Lara’s music career has quieted down, maybe she’s due for a resurgence. Trump World is waging a war against Taylor Swift, and looking for secret weapons.

Perhaps this is Lara’s moment. You know, if political punditry doesn’t work out.

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