We’re nearly halfway through the first month of 2024. How the heck did we get here?
And have we all decided to give up on our New Year’s resolutions because we’re already perfect? (No further questions at this time.)
It certainly feels like business as usual in the world of gay news, especially after a lackluster Golden Globes kicked off the start of awards season. (We still love you, Pedro Pascal!) That being said, we still can’t escape the will-they, won’t-they attitude of the Saltburn press tour.
How about we take this to the next level?
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That being said, we’re hardly scratching the surface. This week has been a smorgasbord of quirky memes, iconic queens, and must-have things. So much for saving money this year!
Shut your laptop for the holiday weekend, grab your credit card, and bundle up. Here are the 10 things we’re obsessed with this week…
1. TUSHY Classic 3.0 Bidet
Image Credit: TUSHY
How have I gone this long without recommending a bidet? (Do not revoke my gay card.) It used to be that turning 30 in the gay community meant “twink death.” But for my friends, it’s become a reason to invest in a butt cleaning device.
It’s no secret that bidets have grown in popularity over the years –– and not just for the gays. (Perhaps American society has finally decided that tidy heinies are not just a European exclusive?) As far as at-home options go, the TUSHY Classic 3.0 (on sale for $99 online) is the best you can get. Not only does this slim and noninvasive attachment get the job done, but it fits 95% of toilets, uses tap water with pressure controls, and typically installs in 8.5 minutes or less. You may just convert your straight friends.
2. Matthew Dean Stewart Grey Sweatpants Candle
Image Credit: Matthew Dean Stewart Candles
With premium scents and cheeky titles like “Bathhouse,” “Plant Daddy,” and “Hey, Handsome,” it’s no wonder why Matthew Dean Stewart’s queer candle biz has taken New York –– and the world –– by storm.
I recently received the audaciously titled Grey Sweatpants candle ($22 for 7.2 oz and $40 for 16 oz online), and I’m obsessed. With hints of sandalwood, linen, vanilla, saffron, smoke, and wood, it smells both sexy and understated. And when it’s too cold to go scouting for sweatpants in the wild, it brings the vibe right to my living room.
My favorite part of doing Dry January is telling everyone, “I’m doing Dry January.” But as multiple outlets have reported, abstaining from alcohol for 31 days (and then thirstily heading to the club on February 1) may not be the best way for people to change their habits.
That’s why I’ve become a fan of Damp January –– thank goodness we didn’t call it “moist.” By consciously practicing moderation and making each drink a careful decision, you may feel a greater sense of control and understanding of what drives you to drink. And you don’t have to feel like a total failure when it’s dark at 5:30 PM and you really want a dirty martini.
4. Tommy Hilfiger Lightweight Active Water Resistant Hooded Rain Jacket
Image Credit: Amazon
Over the years, I’ve always boycotted wind breakers for the sake of fashion. Who am I, as a full-grown adult, to don nylon out in public when umbrellas exist? Boy, was I wrong.
Enter this light-weight number from Tommy Hilfiger ($33.81 – $83.62 on Amazon). Not only does this rain jacket have pockets, a hood, and a variety of color options, but it really works. I can venture into a storm and embrace my inner “Come Clean” by Hilary Duff without absorbing an entire cloud’s worth of liquid. In Tommy, we trust.
5. Josh Cellars Wine
fellas: is it gay to drink josh? like you literally have his liquid in your mouth… https://t.co/Z8viYJJPa7— esther ????????? (@wikipediastan) January 8, 2024
Against all odds, Josh Cellars’ budget wine has reached social-media meme status. It all started when X user @OptimusGrind_ posted a pic of the aptly named “Josh” and wrote, “I’m not gonna keep telling y’all to grow up and leave that Stella & Barefoot alone.”
Forget the fact that Josh wines –– between $9 to $16 on Drizly –– are only marginally higher-priced than Stella and Barefoot. The internet has kneeled to the winery (which shares the name of that one guy we’ve all hooked up with), Photoshopping it into Jesus’ hands and letting “the josh talk.” And unfortunately, the roasting will not stop me from bringing it to a housewarming party this weekend.
6. Actually Curious Starter Bundle Card Game
Image Credit: Actually Curious
This year, small talk is out, and deep conversations are in. Aren’t we all tired of talking about the weather? Next time one of your friends wants to discuss the workday at-length, try busting out an Actually Curious card deck.
The queer-owned business seeks to form connection and build trust by posing questions that help explore dreams, values, and memories. Their Starter Bundle (on sale for $45 online) includes both the Happy Hour and Curiosity editions, and it’s a must-have for any meaningful get-together. And if it starts to get too real, turn it into a drinking game!
7. Melinda Verga from Canada’s Drag Race
All hail Melinda Verga! The Canada-based drag queen –– whose stage name is a play on the Spanish words for “my pretty dick” –– was a certified scene-stealer and instant fan favorite on the most recent season of Canada’s Drag Race, which wrapped this week.
Even though she didn’t snatch the crown, the 45-year-old Filipino performer brought some much-needed drama (see above) to the competition early on. (“This is f*cking Vivienne Westwood… inspired” lives in my mind rent free.) And after that, she proved age is nothing but a number with a hilarious portrayal of Manny Pacquiao on Snatch Game… and the adorable story of how she met her partner in a bathhouse. Anyone who underestimated her is eating their words –– and I’m starting the All Stars campaign now.
8. Bran Sólo Prints
Image Credit: Bran Sólo
I stumbled upon queer Spanish artist Bran Sólo‘s work at Provincetown’s Art Gaysel festival this past summer, and I’ve been unable to forget it. There’s a palpable vulnerability to all his pieces (with hand-signed prints running $16.50 to $22 online), as he manages to capture queer longing, yearning, softness, and optimism all at once. Whether he’s depicting bare muscular bodies, lonely cafe tables, or the ocean, there’s something in his creative eye that makes me feel a little less alone.
Lil Nas X’s highly-anticipated comeback is an over-the-top, self-referential, controversial, braggadocious bop. Were you expecting anything else from a song called “J. Christ”?
The “Montero (Call Me By Your Name)” rapper is clearly not afraid of offending right-wingers, playing into a joke, and forging his own path to gay superstardom. It’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, but you’ve got to hand it to Lil Nas X for bringing unabashed queerness to mainstream music –– and dancing his booty off. As he sings in the chorus: “B*tch I’m back like J. Christ / I’m finna get the gays hyped.” Hyped indeed! (Bonus points for the incredible Ts Madison cameo.)
10. Jan Sport finally gets a JanSport collaboration
Image Credit: Tanner Abel
The collab we’ve all been waiting for! Drag Race fan fave Jan Sport may have had to change her name to “Just Jan” for the show, but there’s clearly no bad blood between the drag superstar and her namesake brand. In fact, she’s now the poster girl for the go-to backpacking company with her very own line of adorable lilac bags.
As she told Entertainment Weekly, “To now be part of [the JanSport brand], and have my own bags is the biggest accomplishment of my career.” And we simply can’t think of another queen better suited for the job! Snag your own Fifth Avenue Fanny Pack or Half Pint Mini Backpack for $40 online.
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