A popular posting this week on the AskGayBros subreddit has elicited stories about being blocked on hookup apps.
If you’re on Grindr or Scruff, being blocked is part of the course and some people even welcome it as it eliminates the disinterested from your grid. That’s why some people state “Block me if you’re not interested” on their profiles.
However, what nobody appreciates is being blocked or ghosted after you’ve set out to meet someone as previously arranged.
How about we take this to the next level?
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We can all agree that’s pretty crappy behavior, right?
The original poster raising the question said this had happened to him twice in one week. It left him feeling “awful”.
“Guy invited me to a restaurant, we had been talking for a while. I show up, he says he’s on his way. I grab a table and order a drink, tell him where I am sitting, and he blocked me.”
He said it left him “In tears in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
“A few days later, another guy I had been talking to casually just wanted to hang out, get just to know each other. I walked to his apartment in the freezing cold, as soon as I tell him I’m outside, he blocked me.”
The poster said he tried to be as honest as possible on his profile and used a range of recent photos.
“So I don’t understand why people do this kind of thing. It hurts, no one deserves this. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with changing your mind. People do it all the time. I just ask anyone reading this, it takes nothing to simply tell someone you’ve changed your mind, even at the last second, but blocking at that point inflicts pain on a stranger.”
Last-minute blocking
The post prompted hundreds of replies with similar stories of last-minute blocks.
“One guy asked me to come to his place, about £15 on Uber,” recalled another guy. “When I reached there, he asked me to walk to the playground. I went there and then he told me to send him pics of where I was. I sent him. And he blocks. It was freezing cold, and I was so horny, he had made promises. I had to pay Uber again to get back home.”
However, the most-liked comment came from someone who chose not to take it on the chin.
A user named Lamar said, “It happened to me a couple of times. The last time the guy wanted weed, and I don’t smoke. He told me I could come anyway. I was driving to his location and when I said I was there, he blocked me.
“I must’ve been having a bad day because f*ck that.”
Lamar says he logged out, created a catfish account, “and hit him up. He asked if I had weed, and I told him yes. Gave him the address of somewhere like 45 minutes away from the area he sent me to. As soon as said ‘Here, which apartment?’ BLOCK. Deleted the account and went on about my day.
“Am I proud of it? No. Did I feel better? Absolutely.”
Reddit approves
The response earned over 800 upticks and plenty of comments. Nearly all of it applauded him for his actions.
“I think you can be proud of that lol,” said one.
“Wow. Just reading that felt so cathartic,” said another. “Do I understand why you did it? Yes. Do I agree what you did was morally okay…? F*ck yes.”
A third person said, “I’m proud of you. I bet that a** didn’t even make the connection.”
Queerty reached out to Lamar to ask him why he thought some guys blocked in this fashion.
He offered a selection of possible reasons.
“Reason #1: ‘Post Nut Clarity’, for lack of better terms. People are usually browsing certain apps when they’re ‘looking’ while simultaneously getting themselves off. They often ‘finish’ before their meeting can be properly established, and just block because it’s easier than turning someone down when they’re already en route.
“Reason #2: Dating/hookup apps can easily hide one’s actual identity, so people do things without fearing any consequences.
“Reason #3: Actual catfish exist, as well as Facetune and other image-altering apps. I’ve definitely shown up to a ‘meeting’ and was met by someone who didn’t share accurate photos. If a catfish gets discovered from a distance, people may block to avoid an interaction or confrontation. Nobody wants to feel like the bad guy, even when it’s the right thing to do.
“Reason #4: People are just a**holes. Sometimes they had no intentions to actually meet, and were just messing around on the apps.”
Ultimately, although he took revenge on that one occasion, “The best way to brush it off is just that; brush it off!
“If you know that your intentions were genuine, you used accurate photos and were completely honest, PLEASE understand that being blocked has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the blocker,” Lamar suggests.
“The same way that you arranged this meeting, you can arrange another. It absolutely sucks wasting gas, time and energy, but try not to dwell! You miss a bus, another is coming in the next 15 minutes!”
is not having it
