My sister didn’t want my husband in her wedding pics — am I wrong to be upset?

What is it with some people and their weddings? Just because it’s their “big day”, it doesn’t mean guests have to indulge their every whim or demand.

A 31-year-old man has prompted thousands of comments on Reddit after he posted about his sister’s wedding. The man in question has been in a same-sex marriage for the past seven years with his husband, Mark.

His sister, the bride, wanted a group photo of her and her five siblings along with their respective spouses.

However, “When Anne saw that my husband was standing next to me, she shook her head and said something about him ‘ruining the aesthetic.’ Apparently, her plan was to put one man and one woman next to each other alternately,” the writer explains.

“My youngest sister (18F), who doesn’t have a partner and was standing on the very side, offered to stand between the two of us, so we could be close and Anne’s wish would still be respected.

“I thought that was a great solution, but Anne disagreed and told Mark to get out of the picture. He’s quite introverted and tries to avoid confrontation under all circumstances, so he simply complied and told me not to get angry, but it was obvious that he was hurt and disappointed by being left out.

“Obviously, it didn’t stop me from getting angry and I walked away with him. I can understand that Anne wants her wedding pictures to look exactly how she imagined them, but I think that the idea my younger sister proposed was very reasonable.”

Leaving early

He went on to say, “I congratulated Anne and her husband one last time, but then I said my goodbyes. When I was asked why we were leaving early (especially before taking the pictures), I said that I didn’t feel like our presence was wanted.”

He said that he and his husband left before the serving of dinner. He took his husband to his favorite restaurant to cheer him up instead.

“Anne has texted me since saying that I was being overdramatic and making a fuss over nothing. Our parents have tried to remain neutral, but except for my youngest sister, the rest of the family supports Anne and thinks that leaving early was going too far and that I should’ve sucked it up instead of ruining her big day.”

The man was writing to the “Am I The Asshole” subreddit. He wanted to know if he was being the a-hole by leaving his sister’s wedding early.

The overwhelming majority of respondents believed he behaved reasonably.

“Has your sister always been shamelessly homophobic, or has the wedding brought out a new side of her?” was one well-liked response.

Another summed up the feelings of many, saying, “She expects you to celebrate her marriage while she disrespects yours. Good on you for respecting your husband.”

“Anne did not get the picture asked for,” replied another. “When you look back at the pictures your husband’s absence will be abundantly clear. Don’t blame you for leaving.”

Some said that even having the little sister stand between the couple was not an acceptable compromise.

“Even the suggestion of the little sister between the couple is weird just for aesthetics, when everyone sees partners together but then the couple segregated that would seem odd to me,” said one person. “If the bride wasn’t homophobic she would have one picture with all couples together (little sis can be on the end or even in the middle), then another with everyone arranged in height order with alternating sexes.”

Making the cut

Lastly, a depressingly large number of people responded that they too had been cut from wedding photos because they “didn’t match the vibe”. This turned out usually be down to them being a different ethnicity or disabled. The original writer added, for clarification, that his husband is white (“like most of my family”) and able-bodied. They just happen to be gay.

The moral of the story? Don’t invite siblings and their spouses to your wedding if you’re going to cut one or both of them from your wedding pics.