Ron “Don’t Say Gay” DeSantis’ campaign debriefs are trickling in & OMFG what a mess that was

In a sign of epic failure, Ron “Don’t Say Gay” DeSantis delivered his own campaign postmortems before even exiting the presidential race.

Day before dropping out, the Florida governor bemoaned his ill-advised strategy of shunning mainstream media outlets and complained about how Donald Trump‘s four criminal charges and 91 felonies upended the primary.

But now that DeSantis is officially out, the pundits are weighing in with their own debriefs.

How about we take this to the next level?

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Unsurprisingly, they aren’t very kind!

“How did Ron DeSantis fall so far, so fast and so hard?,” asks The Hill.

Let us count the ways!

As the article mentions, DeSantis was carrying momentum following his blowout reelection win in Florida’s 2022 gubernatorial race. With many of Trump’s handpicked MAGA warriors losing senate and congressional races across the country, DeSantis seemed primed to muscle out the disgraced ex-president as the GOP’s de-facto nominee.

But then he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

DeSantis didn’t launch his candidacy until May 2023, six months following his gubernatorial triumph. The gay-hating politician said he was focused on Florida’s legislative session, enacting an array of anti-LGBTQ+ policies from curtailing gender-affirming care for minors to banning drag shows (many of DeSantis’ homophobic edicts have since been curtailed in the courts).

Instead of spurning anticipation, his hesitancy squashed his momentum. Then he decided to go full culture warrior.

The results were disastrous.

“In hindsight, DeSantis’s downfall stands out for both how unlikely it seemed just 14 months ago, and yet how entirely predictable it became as he decided on a strategy of trying to out-Trump Donald Trump, and abandoned his more popular moderate positions in favor of a hard-right shift on hot-button issues such as abortion and guns,” writes Hill columnist Douglas E. Schoen.

Long considered a social pariah, DeSantis didn’t help himself on the campaign trail. His lack of basic social skills were on full display all the way.

He struggled to connect with voters, and on the rare occasions he did smile, it was really, really awkward.

Before long, DeSantis wasn’t talking right-wing policy; but rather, denying embarrassing rumors that he wears high heels and eats pudding with his fingers.

Trump didn’t help matters, of course. The quadruply-indicted, twice-impeached, one-term ex-president insinuated “Meatball Ron” was gay and groomed students as a high school teacher.

Yet, DeSantis endorsed Trump last week.

Soooo beta.

Despite entering the race with a $100 million war chest, it quickly became apparent that the governor and his chaotic Super PAC, Never Back Down, had no real plan.

“Why Ron DeSantis was doomed from the start,” opines NBC News.

Before long, members of DeSantis’ team resorted to infighting, with heads of his campaign and Super PAC nearly coming to blows.

Within two months, 40% of DeSantis campaign hires were jettisoned to conserve resources. Incompetent to the very end, the final head of Never Back Down, Scott Wagner, spent hours on a puzzle in the days leading up to the Iowa Caucus.

While DeSantis’ presidential ambitions petered out, his wife, Casey, seemed increasingly intent on living like the nation’s next FLOTUS, regardless of her husband’s fortunes.

Embarrassing financial docs reveal that DeSantis’ campaign spent more on private jets than TV ads, apparently because Casey refuses to fly commercial. That’s right: “Walmart Melania” panders to the masses, but can’t stand being on the same airplane with them.

When DeSantis first launched his presidential bid in a glitchy Twitter Spaces, Casey was believed to be a big asset. The former TV news anchor was expected to fill her husband’s charisma vacuum and bond with voters. But as it turns out, she was just as alienating as him.

Casey accompanied Ron on his most awkward campaign stops (like his trip to a rural baseball field in Iowa), embarrassed herself in interviews (like the time she encouraged people to commit voter fraud), recorded that deeply homophobic ad in which she alluded to gay pedophiles coming for America’s children, and even claimed to have knocked on over 3 million doors begging people to vote for her husband.

She’s also reportedly responsible for Ron’s “dumba** cowboy boots,” as one angry staffer told Vanity Fair.

As Slate mentions, “While Ron never quite took to the campaign trail, Casey was ready to be first lady of the United States.”

Better luck next time, “Walmart Melania.”

Back in Florida as a defeated man, DeSantis is back to his usual tricks. His administration is continuing its assault on public education, most recently eliminating sociology as a core course as state universities.

Will Ron ever learn? The answer appears to be “no.” Apologies to the people of Florida who didn’t vote for him.