Sex scenes with trans women that revolutionised the trans-female gaze

 Up until now, trans sex on screen has been full of violence and trauma. It’s about time for some joy, we think!

WORDS BY KATIE BASKERVILLE

Sex scenes with trans women in film and TV have historically been a spectacle of objectification, fetishisation and at times, dehumanisation. Their characters are broadly one-dimensional, transactional and inconsequential. In short, up until fairly recently, the trans femme experience on-screen has been depicted by a lot of trauma, violence and overcoming great obstacles and not a whole lot of joy and enjoyment. 

This echoes the experiences of women (both queer or heterosexual) and gay/lesbian/bi on screen, who often fall prey to male-gazes and tired stereotypes that do little to advance plot, character arc or any of the other stuff that, you know, makes a film actually good.

Queer sex, particularly, often comes out in the wash this way. As if queer sex is only seen as compelling or meaningful when it follows intense struggle or hardship (yawn!). There is very little agency, autonomy and self-determination when it comes to demonstrating sex on scene. 

That being said, these four scenes have gone down in history for breaking the mould and showing that trans women and femmes can have sex on screen that is pleasure-focused, consenting and meaningful.  

Sex Education (2023)

The scene between Abbi (Anthony Lexa) and Roman (Felix Mufti) has earned its spot for its perfect depiction of T4T on screen. 

“It’s not the tragic trans story that often gets told,” they explained to Gay Times in 2023. “As a trans person I’ve seen enough of, ‘Isn’t being trans so hard?’ I think being trans is boss! It’s a blessing to share it with the world in a way that scares the world.” 

The scene, which centres on autonomy and consent, doesn’t sexualise or objectify, making it a kind encounter that’s pleasure-focused for the people involved, not the people watching. This was largely thanks to the use of an intimacy coordinator on set, and allowing Lexa and Mufti to shape the telling of the sex scene’s story. In an interview with Digital Spy that same year, intimacy coordinator David Thackery said “the choreography is based around their consent and boundaries.”

Thackery praised the show’s use of specialists to help writers draft storylines that bring in real sources and “not just imagination” to bring these scenes and characters to life.

Lingua Franca (2019) 

Pleasure-centric scenes through a trans femme-gaze lens? Yes please! 

Lingua Franca‘s sex scenes are filled with wanton desire, yearning and consent. Olivia, played by Isabel Sandoval, who also wrote and directed the film, was set on creating something different.

In an interview with Autostraddle, Sandoval said she wanted to capture the duality of being a trans immigrant. 

“I wanted to flesh her out with as much specificity – psychologically and emotionally – and take it from there,” she said. “I wanted to see a trans character on screen that I’ve never seen before.”

Sandoval was keen to retire the tried trope of being eroticized and objectified in favour of being “the active agent in sexual desire”. 

The payoff is a scene brimming with heat and self-determination and should be added to your watch list STAT!

Boy Meets Girl (2014)

Set in Kentucky, Boy Meets Girl is a story about young twenty-somethings in their year before college. Ricky Jones, played by trans actress Michelle Hendley, ends up caught between love interest Alexandra Turshen (Francesca Duval), her fiancée David (Michael Galante) and her best friend Michael Welch (Robby Riley). 

While some standout moments capture the broader experience of trans femme people, nothing feels gratuitous. For the most part, Hendley’s character is cherished and fiercely defended when threatened. The sex scene, involving Hendley and Duval, is a testament to this. It’s curious, sexy and intimate. 

Speaking to Out in 2015, Hendley said the sex scene enabled her to feel in control and abate fears about the unknown. She said, “Hey, this is a trans body. It’s real and it’s feminine and it’s not attacking anyone’s masculinity. Here’s who I am.”

Powerful stuff!

Heartstopper (2024) 

Everyone’s favourite TV show has been lauded (again!) for how well it has handled the trans sex scenes between Elle Argent, played by Yasmin Finney, and her partner Tao Xu, played by Will Gao.

Throughout the season, a collection of scenes reveals a tender education on the trans sex experience. 

NBC News reported that Finney had sometimes felt envy over Elle’s life. 

“When I step into the world of Elle, I always have this yearning for what she has, in the sense of that perfect relationship, that perfect unhinged love, which is just so gorgeous to watch. I don’t think it’s something that’s offered to a lot of trans people, especially not me when I was growing up,” she said.

What makes these sex scenes so good?

Okay, we know, we don’t watch the pair have sex, but the reason these scenes are so revolutionary is because of the lens we view them through and the conversations that take place. The acceptance, the understanding, the learning and the growing.

Listen, the best sex we have is when we’re fully consenting and into it. These scenes allow these characters to display desire, ask for what they want, correct themselves and their partner if needed, and be imperfect without compromising on their safety and enjoyment.

While we never explicitly see sex scenes, we do watch the pair navigate gender dysphoria and continue to have conversations around how they want to have sex without it being sexualised and fetishised for the audience.

These scenes, which are filled with important conversations and happen throughout Season 3, shift away from a heterocentric lens and male gaze. Here, we see the beginning of something exciting emerging for the two characters and something new for an audience of onlookers. Sex on screen that isn’t the result of what some guy thinks is hot. But what is actually happening between couples navigating their experiences as trans people with trans a cis partners. 

And, given that GLAAD reported recently that LGBTQIA+ inclusion in films continued to decline in 2024, we can only hope that our calls for better representation of trans sex on screen are heard.

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