A gnarly new Tr*mp rash has entered the chat… & it’s not on his hand

Tr*mp having large, scary-looking rashes on his body isn’t a new thing. We’ve discussed the decaying hand saga many times in these pages, and somehow we’re no closer to being freed from the tyranny of having to look at this man’s face daily. But hark! A new rash has just showed up, and its placement is creating some interesting hypotheses around the sundowning sultan’s health.

Yesterday, a photo of an irritated, angry-looking rash on Tr*mp’s neck started circulating, and it looks pretty painful. While Tr*mp loves to blame his consistent hand rashes on having to constantly shake hands with people as part of his office, this new skin disease isn’t so easily explained away. Though hopeful residents of a suffering nation definitely certainly have their own explanations.

How about we take this to the next level?

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The photo in question was taken early on Monday at a Medal of Honor ceremony for service members—pretty ironic after Tr*mp’s recent comments about the “many more” deaths we can expect from his vanity war with Iran, but nothing out of the ordinary.

After images of the hickey from hell hit the mainstream, Tr*mp’s personal physician Sean Barbabella tried to do damage control by claiming the skin redness around the neck was a reaction to a common skin cream Tr*mp has been using. But anyone with eyes can see that that dog simply won’t hunt. While some over-the-counter creams do cause temporary flare-ups and redness, Tr*mp’s rash is clearly cracking, peeling, and starting to bleed in at least one area—which either means he’s having a severe allergic reaction to that cream, or the story we’re being told isn’t the full truth. Wouldn’t that be a shock!

While the rash could be linked to a number of common skin problems such as shingles or contact dermatitis, some MDs have another theory.

“Actinic keratosis…is a precancerous lesion that is the result of aging and sun damage,” explains Dr. Rubin, MD on TikTok.

Dr. Rubin also notes that a common treatment for actinic keratosis is a prescription cream called Fluorouracil, or 5-FU (fitting!) that can cause the skin to look extremely irritated in the process of treatment. Other doctors online, including Dick Cheney’s personal physician when he was in office, have similarly weighed in confirming that either shingles or 5-FU use due to a precancerous lesion is the most likely diagnosis.

But citizens are far less concerned with the treatment than with the potential disease. As one commenter put it, “how long until it becomes fully cancerous?”

Tr*mp has been on death watch for quite some time now, and frankly, we’re all starting to get a little peeved with how long it’s taking for the guy with the cloak and sycthe to show up and save us from our fate. Not too long ago, Tr*mp was visited by the “angel of death” Liz Truss, but since we’re still waiting to hear that Tr*mp sleeps with the fishes, it’s looking like Truss might have just been a one hit wonder (sorry, Queen Elizabeth!)

But many Americans are not giving up hope. Evil, despicable, smelly, and full of sh*t—Tr*mp is many things, but immortal is not one of them.

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