Shaun T says gay men married to women message him “every day” for advice
Gay men who enjoy having sex with their wives is not a topic that gets talked about much.
Fitness guru Shaun T was a guest on a recent episode of ‘The Align Podcast’ (episode 418). The show explores the connection between physical health and mental wellbeing.
Shaun, 44, the originator of the Insanity workout, is an out and proud LGBTQ+ advocate. Followers of his social media know that besides workout content, he also shares lots of videos of his home life. He’s been married to his husband Scott Blokker for over 10 years and the two are raising twin boys, who were born in 2017.
The discussion was largely around sexuality, relationships, and intimacy. Host Aaron Alexander asked Shaun how often he received messages from men in heterosexual relationships telling him that they were gay and unsure what to do. Shaun’s response has surprised some.
“Every day of my life,” he replied, emphatically.
“I feel so horrible because a lot of these guys are still very much into having sex with their wives,” he continued. “They just want to have sex with men, too. They come to me and they’re like, ‘Oh, you know, I’m gay, blah, blah, blah’. I’m like, ‘Do you still enjoy having sex with your wife?’ And they’re like ‘yeah’. So I’m like, ‘Would you classify yourself as gay?’
He continues, “Labels are one of the toughest things because when you’re looked at as gay, it’s… oh, you don’t want anything to do with a woman, when I know plenty of gay guys that will still have a threesome with a girl in the room.”
“And, I know plenty of men that have a wife and they like fooling with guys, but they have still incredible sex with their wives.”
Shaun’s comments prompted backlash online.
“Ultimate betrayal,” said one. “If you’re gay be gay. Don’t betray yourself nor the people that Love you most. People have lost their way. All in the name of exploration and loving yourself and self acceptance.”
A woman who was married to a man having sex on the side also responded.
“As a wife of someone who wanted to have/did have sex with a man, it was devastating when I found out. Cheating is cheating, didn’t matter if they were with a woman or a man. I was faithful, he wasn’t. Didn’t matter how good our relationship was, how good the sex was, it was a sham.”
Others agreed. One said, “Just because you have the desire to do something doesn’t mean it’s right to act on. Cheating in a marriage is always wrong. Always. If you need to experiment and explore, don’t get married.”
Others said that things are never black and white.
“Fluidity is for everyone if we could just drop the labels and the shame,” said one commenter.
Others suggested some women are more accepting of a male partner’s bisexuality than others might imagine.
Shaun T responds to reaction online
Shaun himself responded to some of the backlash.
“It’s funny how so many comments are related to things other than COMMUNICATION and the fact that these are actual fears people have. Stop being so shallow and focus on the bigger message which is: STOP TRAPPING PEOPLE INTO A BOX and MAYBE just MAYBE people will find freedom with who they are! I SAID WHAT I SAID!”
He’s right. We didn’t hear Shaun T advising anyone to cheat on their partner, but we did hear him say a lot about the importance of communiction.
Shaun offers plenty of inspiring insights and empowering content through his social media. He appears to enjoy a blessed family life and a fun relationship with his husband.
This episode of ‘The Align Podcast’ makes for an interesting listen, with Shaun and Aaron discussing intimacy, how traditional gender roles can shape romantic needs, and what straight people can learn from gay guys when it comes to relationships.
Shaun also talks about surviving childhood abuse, and how to keep the passion alive in a relationship.
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