A Polaroid, fake girlfriends & a guy named Bob: This dad’s brilliant coming out story is going hyper-viral

A woman has gone viral after posting about her father coming out to her and her sister.

Brittany Wagner shared her story to coincide with Father’s Day.

On Threads, she wrote, “It’s Pride month AND Father’s Day so let me tell you how my very hetero-presenting but very gay dad came out to me and my sister when we were 9 and 10.”

Wagner explains that her parents divorced, and her mom was subsequently “in and out” of their lives. Her dad sat her and her sister down on their beds and looked serious, “which was strange bc we weren’t exactly the ‘sit down and talk’ kinda family,” she recalled.

How about we take this to the next level?

Subscribe to our newsletter for a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Subscribe to our Newsletter today

“He goes, ‘ok girls, I know you’ve been through a lot, so I can’t lie to ya anymore’.”

“He says the girlfriend he’s been seeing —Barbara — wasn’t actually Barbara. Barbara’s Bob,” Wagner recalled.

“And he whips out a Polaroid picture of a big, hairy, old guy that would give Wilford Brimley (his super crush) a run for his money. (we learned later that this wasn’t the first fake girlfriend. there was “Jennifer” before that, otherwise known as Jim. A for creativity, Dad).”

Coming out brought them closer

“He asked us to keep it a secret till we graduated high school,” Brittany continued.” Small town, early 2000s… naturally, he didn’t want us to catch sh-t from other kids (god bless him). So we did somehow.

“Turns out the thing he was so scared would mess us up somehow is the thing that made us close — swapping boy stories and drama, comparing dating app profiles, and oversharing at levels he never asked for but got anyway.

“Happy Pride and Father’s Day, Daddy Wags. And all the gay daddies out there. ????????”

Wagner also shared a photo of herself (in glasses above), her sister Jackie, and her dad, Mike Wagner.

“A hunk of a man”

Many loved the story. They also affectionately quipped that describing her dad as “very hetero presenting” was perhaps inaccurate. Others said he was a stud.

Others shared stories about parents coming out to their kids.

Accident

In her Threads, Brittany mentions that her dad passed eight years ago.

It turns out her father’s later life was blighted by some heartbreaking challenges. He worked in construction. An accident at work led to his reliance on care. Mike Wagner took his own life in 2018.

After his passing, Brittany found 697 privately recorded video diaries. Many of these reflected on how his life spiraled after his accident, and his frustrations with finding assistance.

Brittany has been working on a documentary, One Of Many, about her father.

Contacted by Queerty, Brittany shared a couple more photos of her dad. She also offered a few more details. She said she grew up in Cincinnati, Ohio.

“More specifically, a small suburb called Madeira. It’s the kind of place where everybody knows everybody. My dad was one of ten kids in a big Catholic family — packed house, lots of opinions… never a dull moment. In his late teens, he headed out to California for a stretch, where he found his calling in construction work, but then life brought him back to our hometown.”

Although she mentioned a boyfriend, we wondered if her dad found himself a partner eventually?

“He had a couple of relationships after coming out, and honestly, one of my favorite things was getting to meet them as his boyfriends, not in the ‘girlfriend’ cover story he’d needed before. I even helped him make an online dating profile at one point, which was its own adventure,” she laughs.

“But shortly after he came out, he was severely injured in a construction accident that later left him disabled. Chronic pain has a way of making things a bit harder. In his case, it chipped away at his belief that he could ever really show up for someone the way he wanted to. But I do know that coming out gave him a real freedom, even if he didn’t get nearly enough time to live life to the fullest. That part still gets me.”

One Of Many

On discovering Mike’s video diaries after his passing, Brittany says they, “documented his struggle to live a normal life with chronic pain, reflections on the accident, and the devastating reality of the broken social systems he navigated over two decades to get health care and support. They’re pretty remarkable — a startling mix of vulnerability, wit, frustration, insight, love for us (his kids), and his hope for change for others like him.

“I found out quickly he had left them for me to share with the public. He even explicitly asked that I tell his story, which made it impossible to say no. One of Many is my attempt to honor that, not just as his daughter, but as a filmmaker and human who has learned there are millions of people out there suffering, like him. They deserve to be seen and heard”

As for her Thead going viral, Brittany says, “Honestly, I just felt compelled to share a sweet memory on Father’s Day. I’m an oversharer by nature (my dad was too, actually), and I kinda just wanted to put it out there in hopes people might relate or be tickled by it. But the response genuinely moved me. Other kids of parents who came out late, people who came out to their own children — something about it clearly hit a nerve in the best way. It reminded me that stories have a way of connecting us when we least expect it.”

Brittany’s documentary about her father is in post-production now: oneofmanydoc.com.

Related

An early film about gay dads, this ’72 drama gave queer stories a seat at the family table
Despite its warmer setting, ‘That Certain Summer’ makes for a fascinating re-watch this Thanksgiving holiday weekend.

My 2 dads! Gay couples reveal the names their kids call them to differentiate between each father
Dad and Dad can get confusing.

Sign up for the Queerty newsletter to stay on top of the hottest stories in LGBTQ+ entertainment, politics, and culture.