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‘The Gilded Age’s hairy daddy, poppers scented candles & some VERY gay books: 10 things we’re obsessed with this week

'The Gilded Age's hairy daddy, poppers scented candles & very gay books: 10 things we're obsessed with this week

Mark

Dec 26, 2023 - 19:00

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‘The Gilded Age’s hairy daddy, poppers scented candles & some VERY gay books: 10 things we’re obsessed with this week

Three-panel image. In the far left panel, a black jar candle with a lid featuring a yellow and red label resembling a Rush poppers bottle, reading instead: "Sniff it and Take It! Fresh Rain Aroma." In the middle panel, actor Morgan Spector with messy long dark hair, a dark beard, and a thin muscular frame, stands shirtless in a hotel doorway, wearing only a robe. In the far right panel, a white sweatshirt on a salmon pink backdrop. The sweatshirt features red, green, orange, blue, and purple characters with movement lines around them, sketched by Keith Haring arranged in two lines of three.

Does the week before Christmas and New Year’s Eve even really exist?

We’re expected to work, but nothing is getting done. We’re booking travel, but we’re just going back to the same places we were four weeks ago. And the holiday party invites stack on top of each other until we just decide to stay home and rewatch Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square.

The world of gay news hasn’t slowed down either.

We found out Murray Bartlett has a new acting gig. Then soccer star Josh Cavallo stood up against virtual homophobes, Grindr dropped its annual Unwrapped report, and Tom Daley returned to the pool. Plus –– this should go without saying –– we can’t escape Wham!’s “Last Christmas.”

We may be mentally drained, but the holigays aren’t over. From last-minute gift ideas, to cozy products we need, and sexy spins on Christmas classics, our social media feeds are continue to bless with more things we need to possess.

So, don’t shut your laptop until 2024 just yet, because these are the 10 things we’re obsessed with this week.

1. Poppers Inspired Scented Candles

Two-panel image. In the left panel, an assortment of eight candles stacked on top of and around each other. They are decorated like bottles of poppers, with labels instead reading: — Image Credit: Etsy

It’s an age-old debate: do I get my gay friends a decorative candle for the holidays… or something they’ll actually use? (Read: poppers.) Now, I don’t have to choose, thanks to these Poppers Inspired Scented Candles ($18.50 on Etsy) from queer small business Underground Rainbow Co.

Worry not, these handmade soy candles don’t actually smell like VHS cleaner. With labels parodying some of the LGBTQ+ community’s fave brands, you can opt for scents like fresh rain, cool water, bamboo, leather/oak moss, citrus woods, and ocean breeze/sandalwood. All without the head rush.

2. Keith Haring Graphic Crew Sweatshirt

Two-panel image. In the left panel, a white crewneck sweatshirt on top of a white backdrop. The right sleeve reads "Keith Haring" down its arm and it features a tiny red figure with movement lines drawn by Haring on the front right breast. In the second panel, the same sweatshirt flipped around on a salmon pink backdrop. The back features six of the same characters drawn by Haring, arranged in two lines of three, in colors like red, yellow, pink, blue, and orange. — Image Credit: Abercrombie & Fitch

There are few artists whose work is as instantly recognizable as Keith Haring’s –– and even fewer who left such a meaningful legacy. And while a print or painting is a bit out of my price range, this graphic crew sweatshirt (available for $80 at Abercrombie & Fitch) is an accessible –– and adorable –– way to own a piece of his art. Plus, it is seriously soooo comfy.

As a certified Graphic Tee Gay, I have to admit this isn’t the only Keith Haring shirt I own, but they’re all some of my most-complimented threads. Thank goodness some people still have taste!

3. Miley Cyrus and Ryan Beatty singing Christmas carols

I don’t know any artist who can twist a cover song quite like Miley Cyrus. The out-and-proud singer recently did a performance of “Used to Be Young” for an intimate crowd at Chateau Marmont –– where no one knew the lyrics except for the queers, prompting her to say: “And they want to know why I love the gays so much … Shantay you stay!”

But the real highlight was when she followed it up with “Jingle Bells,” bringing LGBTQ+ singer-songwriter Ryan Beatty up for her assistance. The performance is entrancing, sultry, and jazzy all at once. And major props to Miley for knowing anything past the song’s first verse.

4. Morgan Spector… a.k.a the guy who’s hot enough to get us into The Gilded Age

Morgan Spector can’t keep getting away with this pic.twitter.com/oVuk7eUIMU— Karl Delossantos (@karl_delo) December 18, 2023

Where did this man come from? ~~And what can we do to stop him from putting on more clothes?~~ The 43-year-old actor is our breakout crush from HBO’s historical drama The Gilded Age, s~~o aptly named for his muscular build and chest hair~~. No surprise, he looks just as thirst-worthy in period clothing as he does IRL. And thankfully, the show was just renewed for a third season.

5. A Very Gay Book: An Inaccurate Resource for Gay Scholars

Two-panel image. In the left panel, a hand with long pink fingernails rests on top of a hardcover book reading — Image Credit: @verygaypaint on Instagram

I’m a firm supporter of the dying art of coffee table books, even as someone who currently doesn’t own a coffee table. After all, there’s no better way to immediately signify an aura of sophistication, artsiness, and intelligence to visitors than leaving a book out in plain sight.

Not only is A Very Gay Book (written by the iconic artists behind @verygaypaint on Instagram) aesthetically pleasing, it’s also hilarious. The satirical book examines the world around us at large –– from trees, to sports, to soup –– and explains, in cheeky detail, why everything about it is gay. (I knew it!)

Snag a hardcover copy to educate a straight friend or decorate your own home for $18.99 on Amazon.

6. Bearaby Cotton Weighted Blanket

Two-panel image. In the left panel, a thickly knotted and gray weighted blanket folded into a neat square in front of a white backdrop. In the right panel, a brunette girl sits wearing the same blanket draped around her shoulders on top of white linens. She holds a coffee cup and is pictured from above, obscuring her face. — Image Credit: Bearaby

I’ll admit it: I used to be a weighted blanket hater. “Why would anyone want a comforter that’s incredibly heavy to lug around and feels like a smothering hug,” I used to say. But after just one night together –– spent staving off a cold and marathoning Selling Sunset –– I’m officially a weighted blanket convert.

And there’s some science behind it all: the weight can stimulate serotonin production, reduce cortisol, and increase melatonin. It’s also just cozy AF.

You can find tons of options, but Bearaby’s Cotton Weighted Blanket ($199 – $279 online) is certifiably the supreme. The chunky-knit comes in a variety of colors, like evening rose, asteroid grey, and midnight blue, and options ranging from 10 to 25 pounds. (They recommend going for one that’s roughly 10% of your body weight.) Just use with caution, because you may never want to leave the couch again.

7. “I’m Coming Down Your Chimney” by T. Kyle

T. Kyle has created some of the best remixes to dominate gay TikTok, like Countess Luann’s “Keep on Serving” and this unhinged Dance Moms bop. Still, “I’m Coming Down Your Chimney,” a horny and clubby Christmas jingle, might just be his finest work.

With lyrics that would make your family blush –– “I’m coming / Down your chimney / With my tits out” –– it’s both hypnotizing and hilarious. I’ve already heard them playing it at NYC gay bars, so no huge surprise that he’s even received an endorsement from Real Housewives‘ Dorinda Medley.

8. This mom who kept it… too real

She so shady towards me honestly pic.twitter.com/GToVZbRywq— ??? (@elordei) December 19, 2023

I have not stopped thinking about Jacob Elordi (and his sexy lil’ eyebrow piercing) since I saw Saltburn, and it looks like I’m not the only one. This ~~Twitter~~ X user @elordei tried to troll their mom by sending her a pic of Elordi (whom she likely didn’t recognize), writing, “This is my boyfriend. Do you support.”

I absolutely cannot get over her mom’s response: “U are not ready for that.” LOL. Even moms know this 6’5″ hunk of Australian man meat is not for the faint of heart!

9. What Do You Meme?

Two-panel image. In the left panel, a white box for a card game reading: "What Do You Meme? An adult party game for meme-lovers." In the right panel, the box is pictured on a wooden table. One card, of a young blonde girl grimacing, is placed on a tiny white easel reading "What Do You Meme?" And a hand holds a blue card from the box in front of it, reading "When your Uber driver farts." — Image Credit: Amazon

From the niche “Padam Padam”-referencing posts on Gay Twitter, to the cringey Minions ones on my mom’s Facebook page, memes have become a universal language. That’s what makes party game What Do You Meme ($29.99 on Amazon) a guaranteed good time, no matter who you’re playing with.

It’s kind of like Cards Against Humanity or Apples to Apples, but with pictures. Each round introduces a new photo card, with three to 20 players competing to find the perfect caption from a hand of dealt cards. It’s a sneaky way to learn a LOT about your friends’ senses of humor. And it’s also an opportunity to assert your dominance as funniest one in the group, if you’re needlessly competitive like me.

10. Future Gin Gift Set

Two-panel image. In the left panel, a boxset featuring a blue sky, tan, red, and purple mountains, and a yellow sun. Inside the boxset is a bottle of Future Gin, with a label featuring its name and a yellow, red, and blue illustration. Next to it is a purple and blue swirled glass cup. The box reads "Future Gin" and "With Upstate." In the right panel, the gin bottle and glass cup are pictured out of the boxset and in front of a white backdrop. — Image Credit: Future Gin

No bar cart is complete without a good bottle of gin. And not only are Future Gin’s spirits tasty, but their mission statement is equally incredible. The women and queer-owned and operated company aims to bring a bit of the California spirit to every bottle with hints of lemon, honeysuckle, and grape leaf.

Their Future Gin Gift Set ($130 online) includes a 750 mL bottle of gin and a gorgeous hand-blown glass from Upstate Kokomo. Better yet, a percentage of proceeds are donated to Los Angeles Downtown Women’s Center and Women for Afghan Women. Long live the gin martini!