Toilet seats, sharing clothes & other gay marriage things the straights will never understand
Sorry, straight married folks, but you can't sit with us!
Mark
Sorry, straight married folks, but you can’t sit with us!
We all know that hetero and homosexual marriages are very different, from the pressures to have children, to tastes in interior decorating, and whether or not a little app called Grindr is a part of the relationship.
But we didn’t realize just how wide the chasm was until queer content creator Matt Lummus enlightened us with a recent series of a videos about things in his gay marriage that would “send straight couples into a coma.”
Please, heterosexual readers, proceed with caution. LOL.
How about we take this to the next level?
Subscribe to our newsletter for a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Subscribe to our Newsletter today
Watch.
As Lummus revealed in his first video, he’s been with his partner for more than 13 years, and some of the differences between their relationship and a straight couple’s are fairly innocous.
Namely, facts like that their “idea of romance has evolved” — i.e. it’s less about flowers, and more about throwing away one’s leftovers — and he spends 90% of their marriage “sitting on the couch trying to make him read [his] mind about what [he wants] for dinner.”
However, others were pretty mind blowing. Not only do Lummus and his husband “openly discuss hot men,” but he shared that he’s perfectly comfortable leaving him “alone in a bar full of men.”
“I am not staying out until 2 a.m. to watch him drool over a bunch of daddies,” he explained. Fair!
Plus, he touted what he believes to be “the biggest advantage of gay marriage”: that “the toilet seat stays up permanently.” LOL.
Suffice to say, Lummus’ first video resonated with the people, racking up more than 100,000 views and a handful of commenters who agreed that heterosexuality sounds exhausting!
“After 31 years, we are pretty much the same as you and your husband, except for the toilet seat,” a gay user named @jamesbaldwinliveswithinme responded.
Of course, he followed it up with a second video, where things got even spicier.
Watch.
Unlike the markedly different wardrobes of girls and guys, Lummus shared that he and his husband are able to share clothes: “I buy them, he wears them, and then, apparently, it’s my job to fold them.” LOL.
Plus, their dog has two dads, they don’t believe in “traditional gender roles” (which “unfortunately” includes housework), and he gives his hubby advice about other men.
“After 13 years together, I thought I had trained him better,” Lummus quipped.
That said, his ultimate goal is to become a “stay-at-home husband,” so maybe the straights were on the right track when they thought of that one?!?
As one commenter told Lummus, we’ve got so much to learn from him.
Sign up for the Queerty newsletter to stay on top of the hottest stories in LGBTQ+ entertainment, politics, and culture.
