Tr*mp’s economy is causing a “daddy drought” & the sugar babies are freaking out
Times are tough.
Mark
Unemployment is up, restaurant traffic is down, but the ultimate recession indicator has been in front of us this whole time: The sugar babies are starving!
OK, OK, to be fair, this reporting isn’t based on any statistical evidence, but rather a viral headline — “‘Daddy Drought’ Hits Gay Community As Aging Millennials Grapple With Rising Cost of Sugar Babies” — from David Allen Gram’s satirical Substack, You Ready Grandma.
Nevertheless, it makes sense when you think about it; who can afford healthcare, rent, Dua Lipa tickets, and a weekly allowance for a twink on the side?!
How about we take this to the next level?
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According to the “report,” Tr*mp’s flop economy has left “countless hot twinks, DL masc jocks, hung otters, and other uniquely categorized homosexuals scrambling for survival.”
Furthermore, “the cost of keeping a sugar baby has risen nearly 400% since the late ’90s,” per the Gay Bureau of Labor Statistics. LOL.
Now, all the young hotties are being forced to clock “40+ hours a week at service jobs” and, “in some tragic cases,” must resort to driving Uber, Lyft, or door-to-door sales.
Still, the most gag-worthy line was the subheadline: “Would-be [daddies] lack means to penetrate gay sugar baby market.”
Oh, no! What will we do?!?
Of course, David Allen Gram’s newsletter has been a longtime must-read for comedy icons like the founder of The Onion and The Simpsons writer, Mike Reiss.
Still, this piece, in particular, took on a life of its own after it was resurfaced on Gay Twitter X and Instagram.
Buy low, sell high
Great month to ‘lock’ in some bargains too— taliblond (@taliblond) October 9, 2025
My sugar babies have unionized— GrgyGrgyGrgy (@GrgyGrgy) October 9, 2025
Unsurprisingly, the meme ignited some hot discourse in the LGBTQ+ community.
While one user cursed out younger, would-be sugar-baby gays for their blatant disrespect for Gen X, another called for a “tariff on aging twinks,” and some proclaimed that “the true daddies will rise from the surface and sift the boys from the men.”
Tell that to the Department of Labor. LOL.
Nevertheless, the most enlightening comment came from an eagle-eyed gay who noticed that the “daddy” and “sugar baby” in the stock image were none other than adult film actors Colton Grey and Dirk Caber.
Good to know!
The two hot men are porn actors Colton Grey and Dirk Caber FYI pic.twitter.com/xUQyms7V4q— ???????????????????????? ????????????????????????????????????️????????☀️???????? (@JBlackstarcat) October 9, 2025
That said, the meme might have been rooted in satire, but even the darkest jokes come from somewhere.
The whole thing seems to recall the messy split between David Geffen and David Armstrong, 50 years his junior, who called it quits after less than two years of marriage in May.
Famously, the former couple did not sign a pre-nup and apparently met on notorious sugar baby website, SeekingArrangements.com.
While their divorce filing cited a split due to “irreconcilable differences,” this meme is giving us a new lease on the entire situation.
If billionaires are ditching their sugar babies, perhaps the daddy drought is really that bad.
Check out some of the funniest reactions to the meme below.
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