What “sexy” behaviors get you out of the mood immediately?

To each their own, but some guys get turned off by behaviors and attitudes others assume to be turn-ons.

In a recent r/AskGayMen Reddit thread, one user asked, “Guys, what do other gays do that they think is sexy that just isn’t?”

The thread has attracted more than 220 comments so far, and some of the turn-offs Reddit users listed—femmephobic and transphobic behaviors, for example—are objectively reprehensible. 

Others, however, are matters of taste—such as commenters’ opinions about cosmetic options, underwear types, and even twerking.

Here’s a roundup of replies from the thread, lightly Botoxed touched up for readability.

“Assuming you’re a top/bottom based off your behavior. Some guys think they’re so suave for thinking you’re a bottom just because you aren’t some alpha chad masc bloke. If you’re trying to get with me, just ask me what I’m into instead of playing some weird guessing game.”

“Assuming whether I’m a top or bottom purely based off the fact I’m trans—and the constant d*ck spam. I want to get to know you a little first. Calm down.”

“Sending zoomed-in hole pics way too soon.”

“Getting really sexually explicit minutes into your first conversation.”

“I’ll say it: Lots of guys think they’re good at twerking and are just not. You don’t have to have a huge butt to twerk, but it involves more than just arching your back over and over.”

“Personal opinion: Even if they can twerk, it’s not sexy. Men twerking is such a turnoff.”

“Talking in this weird, moan-y voice.”

“Toilet d*ck pics.”

“Filthy bathroom mirror selfies.”

“Looking angry in pictures. It’s a profile pic, not a mugshot.”

“Flipping off the camera while they’re taking selfies.”

“Using the descriptor ‘bussy’ or any other variation describing your a** as a vagina.”

“Lip-filler and Botox.”

“I don’t know why, but I have seen many gay men who believe that flirting with men who have a partner is sexy.”

“Calling me ‘Daddy’ stops being sexy the minute the math kicks in and I realize I’m old enough that I could be.”

“Worse, being called ‘Daddy’ when you’re not old enough to have an 18-year-old kid call you that. I was called ‘Daddy’ when I was 26!”

“When guys describe ‘macho’ traits as ‘acting straight.’”

“Masc-for-masc guys acting like it’s a badge of honor. There’s a point where it stops being a preference and starts being loud insecurity.”

“Licking your lips in a video… I used to be guilty of it, and I cringe thinking about those videos.”

“Got another one: ahegao face. No one, regardless of looks or gender, can make this look sexy. Not even 2D characters can pull it off. It’s the goofiest, least sexy face I can imagine.”

“I hate the whole fantasy of walking in on someone a** up.”

“When their picture is just a zoomed-in picture of their gaping mouth, sometimes with their tongue out.”

“The usual shirtless, ripped abs, but faceless pics on Grindr. Or just a pic of their junk. Or an entiregallery of pictures of themselves on their instagram. I’d much rather have a conversation or have a description of what you have to offer other than your physical features.”

“Basic narcissism. Guys who think their looks is their personality. Having to post a picture after every gym session. I can’t get this mentality.”

“Trying to be straight, or, like, being into guys pretending to be straight.”

“Bragging about f*cking every man they ever came across.”

“Playing hard to get.”

“I’m not really a fan of those maid outfits that a lot of bodybuilder guys wear on TikTok and PornHub. I’d rather they just be naked or in some basic underwear.”

“That fancy gay underwear that accentuates your shaft so it looks like an elephant trunk.”

“Don’t really get the appeal of a G-string. Would rather something like boxer briefs, a jockstrap, or nothing at all. Also not a fan of guys with face photos of themselves with pouty expressions or the mouth slightly open. They often look goofy.”

“Wearing jockstraps. But that’s an unpopular opinion in the gay community, I feel, lol.”