An older gay man beautifully explains what makes Wilton Manors so magical

Clayton Littlewood, a writer and realtor based in Wilton Manors, has seen a post he wrote go viral. It extols the Florida city’s appeal for many LGBTQ+ people.

Littlewood was born and raised in the UK. He worked most of his life in London. He relocated to the US around ten years ago. He’s now aged 63.

In a series of slides on Instagram, he reflects on how an unexpected comment from a grocery store worker prompted some reflections on the city he now calls home.

The checkout assistant was scanning Littlewood’s groceries and looked at him.

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“I’m sure I’ve seen you before. Have you ever done gay p-rn?” said the assistant.

“‘Nah,’ I replied. ‘I’m too old. My knees couldn’t take it,’ quipped Littlewood.

“Oh, it wasn’t a recent film,” the checkout worker reassured Littlewood. “It was a VHS tape.”

“Not even DVD!” thought Littlewood. “He practically carbon-dated me at the checkout.”

“What struck me afterwards wasn’t the question itself,” reflected Littlewood.

“It was how ordinary the conversation had been.

“At 14, growing up in Weston-super-Mare, I didn’t know a single gay person,” he went on to explain.

“Then I moved to London. It gave me my identity, culture, friends, lovers, and the freedom to be creative.

“I discovered gay life in Heaven, Earl’s Court and Soho. Places that would become important parts of my story. But London was enormous. Gay life was geographically fragmented. I had to get on the Tube to find it.

“40 years later, I live in Wilton Manors. I no longer travel to gay life. I live in the middle of it.

“The gay bars, restaurants, clubs and coffee shops are five minutes away. There are gay running groups, swimming groups, pickleball teams …

“Being gay is so ordinary here a supermarket assistant can casually ask whether I’ve appeared in vintage p-rnography.

“When I first arrived, the sheer concentration of gay men astonished me. I went out to the bars and clubs every weekend. Now, I can happily stay home watching Netflix while hundreds of gay men are enjoying themselves five minutes away.”

Littlewood said never feel the need to edit himself, to check his mannerisms.

“I don’t have to come out to strangers. In fact, I generally assume everyone is gay.

“I often think, this is how straight people must feel. The ‘normality’ of it.

“I remember taking my friend Scott, who’s a little older than me, into Scandals for the first time.

“When he walked in, he started crying. When I asked what was wrong, he said, ‘These are my people. The ones who survived. This is where I’m meant to be. This is home.’

“Scott wasn’t simply looking at a bar full of older gay men. He was looking at men who had survived an era when growing old was far from guaranteed. These men aren’t simply survivors. They’re living, laughing, dating, swimming, playing pickleball.

Littlewood said he was also surprised to encounter a variety of relationships.

“Throuples, open relationships, former partners living together while dating other people. I needed a flowchart to understand who was sleeping with whom.

“In my 30s and 40s, I needed the energy of a big city. London was where I belonged then. But at 63, surrounded by gay men of my own generation, Wilton Manors is where I belong now.

“The boy who once didn’t know a single gay person has become a man who hardly knows any straight ones.

“London gave me somewhere to become myself. Wilton Manors gives me somewhere to be myself.”

In an accompanying caption, Littlewood said, “I’ve spent much of my life searching for places where I could be myself. What I didn’t expect was that one day I’d find somewhere where being gay felt so ordinary that I barely thought about it anymore.

“Wilton Manors is a remarkable place (for now at least, considering the political climate here against the LGBTQI+ community) – particularly for those of us who lived through decades when growing old as a gay man was far from guaranteed.

“It’s a community where our history is remembered, but where we’re also busy getting on with our lives.

“And occasionally being mistaken for a vintage p-rn star at the supermarket.”

Littlewood’s words struck a chord with many gay men.

“I moved from a small fisherman’s village in Croatia to the big city of Vienna. Seeing a lot of myself in those words,” said one reply.

Another man said, “I can’t imagine this kind of life. My story is almost the exact opposite. I live in North Dakota and I’m sure just saying that tells you all you need to know. 97.9 percent of all my friends are straight and the remaining percentage of gay friends don’t live here. My gay experience is pretty much experienced over the phone or on repeats of Queer as Folk or Will and Grace. Thanks for posting this. It’s nice to know that a gay life is out there somewhere for someone.”

“Nearly everyone I know is gay”

Just north of Fort Lauderdale, Wilton Manors is among America’s most LGBTQ-friendly cities, with a large share of gay and lesbian residents. Add year-round sunshine and nearby beaches, and it’s a hugely popular choice for both visitors and those putting down roots in later life.

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The event will take place in Wilton Manors on Saturday, February 26.

Littlewood has recently written a memoir about his life: A Man’s Own Life.

Over email, he told GayCities, “Once it was released, I was able to look at my life from a distance and connect the dots. So I was able to see why places like Earl’s Court, Soho and Heaven were so important to me back in the 80s.

“Just recently I started to look at the present and why Wilton Manors has become so important to me now. And I think it’s because after decades of having to seek out and travel to gay life in London, now I live in the middle of it.

“Nearly everyone I know is gay. When I go to the supermarket, it’s full of gay men, the pharmacy, and of course all the nearby restaurants, coffee shops, bars… I lived in London for 35 years, but this feels like a much more supportive scene for older gay men.

“We have the Stonewall Library (the biggest gay library in the US) – where I run their monthly book club. The World AIDS Center is here, the Pride Centre, affordable housing for older gay men. In this chapter of my life, it feels the right place to be.”

Littlewood’s post received over a quarter of a million views. As for it resonating with other men, he said, “I think there are many gay men who have been following my stories, but for US gay men, this was one they could relate to. It’s very similar to Palm Springs in that respect. They don’t have to check themselves. They can totally be themselves. And it’s an older gay scene. Gay men don’t feel pushed out — they feel welcomed in and are sexualized here.

“And it probably resonated with those who haven’t been here because it reminded them that there are these places – even in red states. There were quite a few comments and DMs from men whose stories were heartbreaking – living in homophobic towns who would love to experience an open gay life like this, and maybe it made them think about relocating.”

A Man’s Own Life by Clayton Littlewood is out now.

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Greater Fort Lauderdale is one of Florida’s best LGBTQ+ destinations for many reasons, from Sebastian Street Beach to Wilton Manors.

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