Gay men reveal the things they’ve vowed never to do again

A Reddit post appears to have resonated with many gay men. Posting on the AskGayBros subreddit, someone asked, “Are there things, actions or decisions you promised yourself you would never do again?”

The query prompted almost 400 replies. They range from general advice applicable to anyone to queer-specific issues.

Surprisingly, the most-liked response cautioned people to avoid the temptation to head to Times Square on New Year’s Eve.

The next most-liked response was from someone who said they would never again “Tolerate a cheating partner.” This prompted others to share their experiences of infidelity.

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Another man said, “Loan money to family members comes to mind. Chase after a man who shows me no interest whatsoever. You can’t make someone fall for you, but you can lose all self-respect trying.”

Another said the one thing he would never do is, “Go back in the closet. I would rather die than have to again deny myself the affection and happiness that I did for so long due to my Catholic upbringing.”

In a similar vein, someone else said they would never again “​​Hate myself for being gay. It’s been many years since I’m very happy with it and I’m grateful for how it forced an introvert like me to go out from my comfort zone and put myself out there and meeting new people and broaden my perspective and open my mind and fundamentally become a better person.”

When to walk away and other life lessons

Others said they won’t tolerate a potential date misrepresenting themselves online.

“I used to sit through the dates where the guy lied about his age, or sent old pictures, or some other deception. After the last time it happened, I gave myself permission to just get up and walk away from these dates from now on.”

Others said they would avoid entering a “Long-distance relationship without a clear light at the end of the tunnel.”

Alternative experiences not to be repeated included dating downlow men or dating people who easily become jealous. Falling for straight guys is also best avoided.

One man said he would never again try chemsex, which prompted many responses from others who felt the same. Others said they would never again date someone “who’s an obvious alcoholic…no matter how fun they seem.”

One man said he’d built a big following by posting thirst traps. However, he no longer chased the same validation.

“There was a point in my early 20s when I posted a lot of thirst traps and sexy pics/adult content on Facebook and Twitter, and I was extremely famous and popular. I figured out I just did it because I was insecure, and compliments from men on my body filled that empty hole for me, seemingly. It’s not until I realized they didn’t actually like me, they don’t know who I even am, they just like the body and stuff. And if they only like my body, they could just easily go on to someone new if I’m not there anymore.”

Have you ever had an experience and thought afterward, “I’m not doing THAT again”? Let us know in the comments below.

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