Gay pro hockey player lived ‘Heated Rivalry,’ loves the show despite his PTSD
For Brock McGillis, 'Heated Rivalry' is validating, deeply triggering and widely misunderstood. It's entertainment, people! The post Gay pro hockey player lived ‘Heated Rivalry,’ loves the show despite his PTSD appeared first on Outsports.
Mark
Like just seemingly most gay men in America — young and old — and more than a few straight women, I’ve been fixated on HBO’s smoldering new series “Heated Rivalry.”
Based on Rachel Reid’s wildly popular hockey romance novels, the show mainly centers on two elite players locked in a fierce professional rivalry that quickly gives way to a secret, emotionally fraught intimate affair.
It’s wildly sexy, at times funny, unapologetically gay, and is one of those shows that you wish you were able to binge.
Unfortunately, new episodes drop on Fridays. Double unfortunately, there are only six episodes in the series that ends on December 26. Fortunately it’s been renewed for another season.
While the drama and intimate scenes with two men are titillating, “Heated Rivalry” is most certainly not a how-to manual for surviving the closet in professional sports, or some inspirational tale that would have gay athletes busting out of the closet.
Get off the sidelines and into the game
Our weekly playbook is packed with everything from locker room chatter to pressing LGBTQ sports issues.
Subscribe to our Newsletter today
That distinction has gotten lost in some of the coverage surrounding the show, particularly after comments from former professional hockey player Brock McGillis were stripped of context and sensationalized into headlines suggesting “Heated Rivalry” would “cause players to stay in the closet.”
That’s not what McGillis said, and it’s certainly not what he meant.
Related
So far, ‘Heated Rivalry’ is less romance — and more well-lit Grindr hook-ups
There’s a lot to like about the steamy new show. But this hockey romance could use a little more romance.Gay former hockey pro launches new tour to build LGBTQ inclusion in the sport
Brock McGillis has built the most powerful program combatting homophobia and supporting gay athletes in all of hockey.
Brock McGillis lived ‘Heated Rivalry’
For McGillis, who came out publicly after his playing career and now spends much of the year traveling across Canada and the U.S. speaking to high-school and junior league hockey teams about creating safer spaces in locker rooms and schools, “Heated Rivalry” is personal in a way that’s both affirming and deeply unsettling.
“I lived the show, and when I saw the first episode, it gave me a dose of PTSD,” he said. “‘I’ve been in therapy for 20 years, and I thought I was okay, and I started watching, and I was so triggered, I had to slam my laptop shut. I’ve actually been in touch with my ex-boyfriend, and we’re marveling at how the show is imitating life — ours.”
Watching the series didn’t just resonate. In fact, it triggered memories McGillis thought he had long since processed.
“There’s a scene in episode one where Hollander is sneaking Rozanov out of his condo in Montreal through the fire escape,” he said. “I literally did that in Montreal.”
While playing high-level hockey, McGillis secretly dated someone for three years. No teammates knew. No friends. No family.
“We had aliases for each other just like the guys on the show. I had a fake name for him in my phone, a woman’s name,” he said. “Somebody lifted my phone once and I just thought, ‘Oh, this is my life.'”
Scenes showing one additional closeted character — Scott Hunter — panicking in public about being seen with his new lover, and running from the possibility of being recognized, felt ripped straight from McGillis’ own past.
“I’ve done that,” he said, “terrified that someone would recognize me.”
That fear, and the stress that came with hiding, had real consequences. McGillis’ career trajectory changed as injuries piled up alongside depression, heavy drinking, and self-harm.
“I went from being on NHL draft lists to constantly injured, depressed, suicidal,” he said. “I didn’t have that straight line to playing in the NHL anymore. So nothing could go wrong to put that at risk. And people finding out I was gay would be something going wrong.”
McGillis likes ‘Heated Rivaly,’ says it’s entertainment
In that context, McGillis’ much-quoted comments about the show not “helping players come out” weren’t a condemnation of the show. They were just based on his reality – what he experienced as a pro, and what he sees as he speaks to hockey teams on his tour..
“The question posed to me was, will this help?” he explained. “And I said no, because hockey bros, the straight guys, aren’t watching this.”
And if they do?
“If they turn it on and see gay guys having sex, and it’s pretty graphic sex, which is phenomenal by the way, and I love that we’re getting that representation,” McGillis said. “But if the bros see it and start chirping about it in the locker room, ripping it, saying ‘what did I just put on,’ do you think that helps the gay guy come out? No.”
That answer was spun into something it wasn’t.
“It’s been twisted to say I think this show is harmful,” McGillis said. “It’s not. It’s incredible for the community.” In fact, McGillis believes “Heated Rivalry” will likely expand hockey’s audience, particularly among gay fans.
“Based on what I know, over 40% of NHL fans in the U.S. are women, and over 20% identify as LGBTQ+,” he said. “Those are staggering numbers. This show is going to grow that, and that is a pretty positive outcome”
And that’s where “Heated Rivalry” succeeds on its own terms. It’s not advocacy training. It’s storytelling. It’s television, and while it’s engaging, it’s far from reality, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
‘Heated Rivalry’ is meant for ‘the girls, the gays’
“It’s meant for the girls, the gays,” McGillis said with a laugh. “It’s hyper-sexualized, hot, funny, fun. It’s a digestible way to understand the life of a closeted athlete.”
That accessibility matters.
“Instead of dark, heavy shows where people just see hate, this shows the struggle in a way people can actually take in, because it’s sexy and funny,” he said. “And that’s needed.”
What frustrates McGillis is the insistence on framing the show as a referendum on whether closeted athletes will come out. That’s where he said former NHL player Sean Avery missed the mark in talking about whether it would help gay NHL players come out publicly.
“That’s a lazy angle,” he said. “If Sean Avery hadn’t said it would help players come out, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.”
He said the show illustrates a kind of experiences some gay men — but not everyone — have.
“Being in relationships where one person’s out and the other isn’t – or nobody is. Navigating that. How exhausting it is.”
That exhaustion isn’t fiction. It’s structural with little room to change.
“We’re at a point where locker rooms have six acceptable topics: women, video games, partying, sports, music, gambling,” McGillis said. “If you’re queer, you can’t be yourself and fit into some of those conversations honestly.”
And that’s the part no TV show can fix on its own.
“How the f**k do you expect a gay kid or a trans kid to come out in that environment?” he said. “It’s not gonna happen.”
Not because of “Heated Rivalry.” Not because of representation. But because culture inside men’s team sports still demands conformity.
“A TV show isn’t going to change that,” McGillis said. “Pride Nights aren’t going to change that either. They’re great for fans, but people should feel safe every night, fans and players.”
“Heated Rivalry” doesn’t pretend to solve that problem. It simply tells a love story, or two, and that, for McGillis and many others, feels almost uncomfortably real.
“I’ve DM’d Rachel Reid joking, ‘Thanks for triggering me,’” he laughed. “Because I’m watching my life.”
And that may be the show’s real power, not as an impetus to come out of the closet, but as recognition for those who lived there far longer than anyone ever knew.
You can follow Brock McGillis on Instagram.
Subscribe to the Outsports newsletter to keep up with your favorite out athletes, inspiring LGBTQ sports stories, and more.
The post Gay pro hockey player lived ‘Heated Rivalry,’ loves the show despite his PTSD appeared first on Outsports.
