Jonathan Bailey recalls a horrible homophobic encounter he had in a coffee shop recently

British actor Jonathan Bailey has revealed he had a scary and homophobic encounter whilst buying coffee in Washington, D.C. a few weeks ago.

Bailey, 35, was in D.C. to attend the Human Rights Campaign’s annual gala dinner on October 14th.

“It was an incredible experience,” he told London newspaper The Evening Standard. He said he met President Biden and had the honor of introducing Matt Bomer to the stage to collect an award.

“I had the most amazing night; had a drink; couldn’t sleep; buzzing.

“I woke up the next morning, it was like a montage. Sunshine, I was like, this is brilliant. I went into a coffee shop, and I was wearing a Human Rights Campaign cap from the night before. And the young lady who I was ordering from recognized me from Bridgerton, we were just chatting.

“And a man arrived behind me and he said, ‘Are you famous?’ And I said something like, ‘I’m really famous for ordering coffee,’ which is actually quite an annoying thing to say,” he recalled, laughing.

“Then he got my cap, and he pulled it off my head and he threw it across the room and he said, ‘Get out of this f***ing coffee shop, you queer.”

Threat to shoot

Bailey says the room went quiet. He walked over, picked up his cap and put it on.

“If you don’t take that cap off, I’m gonna f***ing shoot you,” the other man threatened. “Where I’m from, people like me kill people like you.”

“No one knew what to do,” says Bailey. “Apart from one girl, she was amazing. Angela, she came up, and she got her phone out and she said, ‘I’m recording this message, I think you are welcome in this country. And what you’re saying, I think, is appalling.’ That happened sort of five minutes in, and he left.”

Bailey says he asked the man where he was from and he said he was from Pennsylvania.

“Potentially, there is a kid who – that’s his father. That’s his uncle. That’s his teacher.”

Bailey says it took some time for what had happened to sink in. He knew it could have been worse, and even more so for others who are more vulnerable.

“I’ve got friends and security. There are so many people that don’t. They are surrounded by that every day, and the torment of what that must be like, the amount of fear that was generated… If that’s what children are surrounded by, they’re not going to be able to grow in any way.”

Growing up gay in the ’90s

In the interview, Bailey talked at length about being out in the entertainment industry. He welcomes how things have changed and the opportunities for gay actors. However, he also says he realizes that we’re living in scary times.

Both in the US and UK, there has been a rise in LGBTQ+ hate crimes over the last five years. This prompted Bailey to share his story about the coffee shop encounter.

He also talked about dealing with his own internalized shame. Depictions of gay people in the media as a child didn’t help.

“The majority of gay people were either the butt of jokes, or being caught in sexual acts and considered deviants, or they were committing suicide, or they’re dying of AIDS.”

When it comes to his own private life, he’s less vocal. He reveals only that he has “a lovely man” in his life. However, he gives no more details.

“Having a private life is, for me, completely critical. I don’t know if I would be able to be as confident to speak out on other things if I felt that my whole life was up for grabs.”

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