Meet the gay man welcoming queer tourists to Kathmandu, Nepal
Aayam Poudel first launched his queer tours of Kathmandu by messaging travelers on Grindr.
Mark
If you’re looking for a vacation that’s a little off the beaten track, then a trip to Nepal is likely to tick all the right boxes.
Its capital city, Kathmandu (population 850,000), is renowned for its historic temples and blend of Hindu and Buddhist culture. For decades, it’s also acted as a gateway for trekkers heading to the Himalayas.
The Kathmandu valley also holds several UNESCO World Heritage sites, including Kathmandu Durbar Square, Patan Durbar Square, Bhaktapur Durbar Square, and Swayambhunath (Monkey Temple), among others.
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Nepal is one of the most gay-friendly countries in this part of Asia. Gay sex is legal, and, in 2023, a Nepalese judge ruled that the government must set up a register to recognise same-sex couples. The country’s Supreme Court has yet to codify this decision, but it still marks the country out as more embracing of queer life than its neighbors.
One person helping to welcome LGBTQ+ visitors to Kathmandu is 27-year-old Aayam Poudel. He is the co-founder of the appropriately named Queermandu tours.
Early life
Poudel was born and raised in Chitwan, a small village near Nepal’s southern border. In his late teens, he moved to India and worked for a year in hospitality. He then returned to Nepal and relocated to Kathmandu to complete his education.
Poudel found more hospitality jobs and worked at Pink Tiffany, the city’s queer nightclub. He then began to work as a tour guide. At first, this was for established companies. However, in 2020, the tourism industry basically shut down for a year. Poudel found himself out of work.
When tourism began to pick up again, Poudel says he began to offer his services to international visitors via Grindr. He found a receptive clientele and decided that an LGBTQ+-dedicated tour guide agency might work. He launched Queermandhu with a friend and business partner, Prajeet Budhathoki, in 2023.
‘Homo Momo’ and other Queermandhu experiences
Competition for tour guide work is competitive in Nepal. Although some other companies offer tours for LGBTQ+ visitors, Poudel says Queermandu is the only company run by queer, licensed guides.
Tours available via Queermandu include a one-day tour of Kathmandu, and a two-day and seven-day tour of Nepal.
Then there are experiential tours within Kathmandu. These include ‘Homo Momo’: a cookery lesson with Poudel’s mom and sister on how to make Nepalese dumplings (known as ‘momo’). Another popular one is ‘Gurkha Slays’, which is a day at a local forge creating your own traditional gurkha knife.
There’s also a foodie tour and ‘The Devil Wears Chappals’ (a fashion tour with a queer twist).
Queermandhu remains a small operation at the moment. Poudel says he might only organize tours for ten people a month during off-peak times, but this can rise to 30-40 people during a busy period.
“September, October, November are peak season because it’s the festival season,” he tells GayCities via a WhatsApp call. “It’s also good for trekking. The other season is February to April, the spring. Again, it’s good for trekking. The flow of tourists is a lot during that time. The rainy season and summer are not so busy.”
As for his clientele, Poudel says 80% are male, and “If I have to break it down by country, almost 40% of our clients are from the USA. Then Europe, Australia, and very few Asians.”
Poudel says that most Asians who visit Nepal do so on Hindu or Buddhist pilgrimages.
Coming out in Nepal
Although Nepal is more progressive when it comes to LGBTQ+ rights, we all know that societal attitudes can lag behind laws. I ask Poudel, who is also an occasional drag performer named Momolicca, how his family reacted to his coming out.
“I came out around 16 or 17. It was a mixed reaction. I grew up in a small village where the education is not that great. There’s not much knowledge around sexuality. So yes, my mom was a little bit concerned. She didn’t know what it meant because she honestly probably never saw any queer person before in the village. But she came to terms with it.
“Now, she’s okay. There’s no pressure for me to marry a girl. Probably because I’m the breadwinner of the family, that takes a lot of the pressure off me. I’m also looking after my sister’s education and everything. I feel like my financial independence gave me space to just be myself.”
After Poudel moved to Kathmandu, his mother and sister followed him to the city. He says that through providing the ‘Homo Momo’ cookery classes, his mom has received her own insight into the diversity of the LGBTQ+ community.
“I’ve never asked my mother what she thinks, but this is what I perceive. I’ve had a couple of gay couples who have adopted children. Sometimes they show their marriage photos. So I guess, in her mind, she sees the potential. She sees the future, anything is possible, you know? I also took my mother and sister to the Pride parade. So yes, them moving from a small village to Kathmandu, and engaging with my company’s tours has definitely opened them up. My mom definitely understands me better now.”
Visit Queermandu.io for more details about the tours and experiences it offers.
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