Pump & dump! These U.S. cities top the list for fastest hookups
There are some races you don't want to come in first for!
Mark
Between the Starbucks mobile-order pickup line, reps at the gym, and collecting followers on social media, it feels like, as gay men, we’re in constant competition with each other.
But there’s one race you don’t want to be in first place for, and it starts and ends in the sheets.
Ahem.
How about we take this to the next level?
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Yep, we’re talking about lasting long in bed, a discussion that’s mostly been relegated to Gay Twitter X gossip sessions, Sex and the City episodes, and anecdotal evidence until now.
Recently, gambling website BetUS did what millions of twinks on the internet could never do and developed a scientific method for determining which cities finish the fastest, based on their search history.
According to their report, cities were ranked on search volume for terms like “how to last longer,” “premature ejaculation,” and “average time sex lasts” — LOL — to rank the top 20 locations where, erm, fun time is fun-sized.
And spoiler alert: It’s not looking good for some of you girls!
Based on the data, the city with the least amount of sexual endurance was Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, which netted over 575 search queries per 100,000 residents desperately looking for tips on how to elongate the magic.
On the bright side, at least Philly gays are looking to improve themselves, and even if they do come too quick, they can always grab a cheesesteak.
Of course, the City of Brotherly Love wasn’t the only LGBTQ+ hot-spot that found themselves scathed by the study.
Coming in second place was none other than Boston, Massachusetts, where residents apparently need to learn a thing or two from their most sexually active Provincetown neighbors.
That said, the city’s most popular search was “how to last longer,” so perhaps there’s some truth to the whole lobster-rolls-are-an-aphrodisiac thing.
Rounding out the top five were Tucson, Arizona; Forth Worth, Texas; and Detroit, Michigan. Which just goes to show that nothing good comes from being, uh, too wet or too hot.
Other major cities to appear within the top-20 were Detroit, Michigan; Indianapolis, Indiana; Minneapolis, Minnesota; Atlanta, Georgia; Phoenix, Arizona; and Milwaukee, Wisconsin, so the Chicago, New York, and West Hollywood gays were marked safe this time around.
Obviously, the methodology is not perfect.
The study neglected to report on users’ gender and sexual orientation, and there’s no scientific proof that the men or women who searched for these terms are delivering lackluster completion times in the first place.
Plus, there’s the whole “if you love someone, it shouldn’t matter” thing. Boo!
Interestingly enough, another recent study from Lovehoney found that the amount of time it takes for your rocket to land is likely more connected to your age than your location.
Based on their data, they were able to assign an average duration of session based on age group, with males ages 25 to 34 taking the longest amount of time at 18.29 minutes.
In second place were men ages 35-44 at 17.40 minutes, followed by 18 to 24-year-olds at 16.14, 45 to 54-year-olds at 14.14, 55 to 64-year-olds at 11.30, and men ages 65-and-up finishing with 8.15 minutes.
Is this a good time to evoke the Tortoise and the Hare fairytale, or not?
At the end of the day, physical intimacy is less about location or duration than it is about connecting with your partner, listening to their needs, communicating your own, and spending time together.
That said, if your top is from Philly, we won’t judge you for breaking out a stop watch.
You know, for scientific purposes!
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