The Dodgers are showstoppers. Their bullpen? Not so much.

Welcome back to Talkin’ Gaysball where our favorite bullpen coach is Max Bialystock.

In almost every aspect where a playoff baseball team can excel, the Los Angeles Dodgers are a juggernaut.

Their lineup is an imposing conglomeration of megastars and role players who consistently rise to the occasion. Their starting pitchers are a collection of flamethrowing aces who also eat innings and put up zero after zero against opposing offenses.

This combination has resulted in the Dodgers taking substantial leads into the latter stages of each October game they’ve played. 

But then the eighth inning rolls around. The bullpen door swings open and suddenly the most feared team in MLB transmogrifies into the Colorado Rockies.

Get off the sidelines and into the game

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Or to put it in a way that every Broadway gay will understand, the Dodgers have major third act problems.

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Watching a Dodgers playoff game is like going to see two-thirds of one of musical theater’s most iconic productions. They’re a hitting and pitching medley of “Defying Gravity,” “The Room Where It Happens,” and “Suddenly Seymour.”

But then just as the production reaches what should be its showstopping climax, it turns into “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark.” Only with a bigger injured list.

During their wild card series, the Dodgers overwhelmed the Reds for nearly the entirety of both games. But even against a clearly inferior team, when it came time for LA to play relief pitcher roulette, that led to multiple bases loaded walks and an excruciating 59 pitch inning.

Watching the Dodgers relief corps is like buying a ticket to “Cats” and waiting for the plot to start.

A 1-2-3 inning arrives almost as often as Godot. 

Things have gotten so bad that manager Dave Roberts is almost exclusively relying on starting pitchers like Tyler Glasnow and Roki Sasaki to get him through the late innings.

Even then, when Roberts tried to use beleaguered reliever (and Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence hater) Blake Treinen to close out NLDS Game 2 against the Phillies, his facial expression mirrored the producers of “Carrie: The Musical” as Treinen used his telekinetic powers to set a 4-1 lead on fire.

Throughout all of this madness, the Dodgers’ many strengths have given them enough of an advantage to make up for this soul-crushing void and they have yet to lose a postseason game this year.

They’re putting up a perfect record despite the fact that not a single win has been comfortable, even the ones where they jump out to a huge lead. 

In fact, each game is a morbidly fascinating question of “Can the Dodgers’ many stars create a sizable enough advantage to overcome the last few innings when they turn into the worst team in baseball?”

So far, the answer has been “Yes…but I have notes.” And reading those notes has taken longer than an eighth inning pitched by their bullpen.

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