“The juice isn’t worth the squeeze”: Tops reveal the reasons why they don’t like to bottom

If you ever wondered where all the tops are on the gay scene, it seems they’re all on Reddit answering questions about their preferences. A question asked on the platform prompted hundreds of replies over the weekend.

The original poster had a simple inquiry on the Askgaybros subreddit: “Tops, why don’t you like bottoming?”

He said he was simply curious and not trying to persuade anyone to flip or be more versatile.

Zero pleasure

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The answers came flooding in: Over 350 at the time of writing. They fell largely into two camps: Bottoming was too painful or required too much preparation.

Many men simply said they derived no pleasure from it.

“My a$$ just isn’t wired for sexual pleasure, just like my nipples aren’t. If someone rims me, it’s no more sexual to me than if you were licking my elbow. So there’s no sexual reward for all the preparation and relaxing and putting up with the pain,” was the most well-liked reply.

This led to tangent replies from other guys who had zero sensitivity in their nipples.

“I thought I was the only person who felt nothing from nipple play. No amount of gentle or hard twisting… flicking… rubbing does anything. Same with sucking on them. Feel nothing. But I’ve had guys in ecstasy over theirs…”

Control and domination

“I tried [bottoming] many times, just isn’t my thing, didn’t feel any pleasure from it and I have a hard time to let go as I like to feel in control and topping really gives me that power of control in bed,” was another well-liked reply.

Others also mentioned that they felt more in control.

“I like to be the one giving it … seeing that mix of pleasure and pain in their eyes and face … to reach down with my neck and kiss them while going at it. I DO fantasize about bottoming for hot guys, but in [real life] I prefer to top almost exclusively.”

Others said they found bottoming—yikes—dull.

“It’s boring and I am not really into some of the sensations. Sure, there are a few points where it’s pleasurable, but IMO the juice isn’t worth the squeeze,” said one.

Preparation

The other big reason to top is that it involves less preparation. For some, this is a major bonus.

“I’m top vers. I do enjoy bottoming, but prefer topping because I’m lazy and don’t like all the prep that comes with bottoming,” said one man.

“My digestive system is a headache to mess around with,” revealed someone else. “Douching takes a long time or worsens the situation. A top thought I was flaking on him once (he was one of the sexiest I’ve hooked up), and it’s like, bro, would you rather I show up and paint you? Nowadays, I rather just top plus I’m well endowed so it’s not hard to find a bottom.”

“Honestly, I love the sensation of bottoming, it’s just the prep that kills me. My digestive system is not super well-regulated, and I have a very high protein diet that doesn’t help in the slightest,” agreed another dude.

A short king added, “I don’t find it pleasurable, the prep is annoying, and people seem to think since I’m short it’s a go-ahead to manhandle me.”

Others said they found it difficult to relax while bottoming, worried about messy accidents, or had hemorrhoids.

The responses are perhaps not surprising, but worth bearing in mind if you’ve got a partner who exclusively tops and shows no interest in switching roles.

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