Transvestigators have come full circle & we’ve officially reached peak stupidity

By this point, we’ve all heard of transvestigation, the process whereby cis people are “accused” of transness by extremely online people whose brains have been eaten by bore worms.

People who choose to spend their time comparing celebrity skull measurements on online forums are obviously a lost cause, and perhaps their malady is something of a precursor to the AI psychosis wave we’re seeing now. But in case you needed more evidence that these people are well and truly off their nut, here it is. Not content to claim that cis celebrities like Beyoncé, Scarlett Johansson, and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson are secretly trans, they’re now trying to claim that certain trans celebrities are, wait for it, secretly cis.

You heard me. Because we all have time to transition, detransition secretly, and then re-transition without anyone being the wiser! Not only do these people give trans people credit for pulling off a truly Machiavellian multiple transition timeline, they’re convinced that the few public-facing trans activists we have are lying about their transness for some reason. Starting with it girl and icon Dylan Mulvaney.

How about we take this to the next level?

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Last year, transvestigators showed their a** even more than usual by claiming that Mulvaney, a woman, is in fact, a woman. Groundbreaking!

“I am thrilled to be joining the cis community once again,” Mulvaney joked in a video that referred to her as a “double-flipper,” meaning a trans woman who was born a cis woman and transitioned twice, for some reason.

It’s almost as if they could have simply grasped the concept that trans women are women to begin with! But that would involve having brains that weren’t eaten by worms.

But weirdly enough, it doesn’t stop with Mulvaney. Transvestigators have also identified another double-flipper in the public eye, none other than trans actor Chaz Bono.

Listen folks, the proof is in the pudding, and the pudding is… incredibly stupid.

Not content to stop there, reverse-transvestigators are hoping to make inroads on trans discrimination in sports, by claiming that trans swimmer Lia Thomas is in fact a cis woman. Wow, it’s almost like they’re allies! Almost.

Not only that, but did you know that Elliott Page is secretly a cis man, according to the dumbest people you’ve ever met in your life? That feeling when you’re accidentally affirmed in your true gender… inspiring!

I’m not gonna lie, “for the sleeping masses to admire” is kind of a banger. Poetry in motion over here!

Not only that, but apparently Jennifer Lopez’s nonbinary child Emme Muñiz was born male, as was Ben Affleck’s trans son Fin Affleck.

“LOTS of double-flipping lately.” Yes, if you’re insane!

The bottom line here is that transvestigators are comfortable assuming that everyone in the public eye—both trans and cis—have just as much free time as they do, and that they’re spending it in the same dumb, brain rotting way. The gag here is—no! Most trans people are completely overwhelmed by the stress of living life in a country that’s hostile to our very existence and continually trying to erase our rights and history. So nice try, but nope!

But thanks, transvestigators, for the accidental gender affirmation. We really appreciate it.

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