We tried to get ChatGPT to write a smutty romance starring Timothée Chalamet & Harry Styles & here’s what happened

Like it or not, we have entered the age of artificial intelligence. From creating convincing takes on Rihanna covering Beyoncé to offering therapy services, it seems like the possibilities of AI are endless — and that perhaps none of us paid enough attention to the ending of Ex Machina. Just saying!

One of the buzziest bots on the internet is ChatGPT, an AI-powered chat tool that launched in late 2022 and can “answer followup questions, admit its mistakes, challenge incorrect premises, and reject inappropriate requests,” according to developer OpenAI. Think SmarterChild from AOL Instant Messenger, but this one could’ve helped you cheat on your homework.

While the ChatGPT homepage invites users to submit queries like “Explain quantum computing in simple terms” and “Got any creative ideas for a 10 year old’s birthday?,” it has not taken long for the internet to discover that it can write some pretty filthy fanfiction too.

That’s not to say ChatGPT will just spit out the softcore content of your dreams on command. There’s a number of censors in place to ensure that this AI keeps it clean, and it gets even more convoluted when you mix in the gay community. Case-and-point: this TikToker asked it to write a song about a gay frog, only to be told by the bot that it would be “offensive”… until the user said they were gay, to which AI quickly changed its tune. 

But where there’s a horny Twitter gay, there’s a way! Through clever turns of phrase, users have gotten AI to roleplay rubbing cayenne pepper on its anus and describe steamy gay Breaking Bad hot tub encounters… but it drew the line at a queer love story between a moose and cow. Go figure.

According to ChatGPT, “generating content that is sexually explicit or inappropriate” goes against its “ethical and moral standards,” and we highly doubt fulfilling farfetched fantasies is what its creators had in mind. 

Still, we had to see for ourselves just how slutty we could get this chatbot to go. 

First off, we tried asking point blank for the Call Me By Your Name sequel of our dreams, starring Timothée Chalamet and Harry Styles… to no avail.

Perhaps our robot friend is right. Who are we to rush the romance?

Take two, we went for a softer approach and got quite the tender love story. Cue the fireworks!

And it doesn’t end there. ChatGPT also shared this corny plot point about the couple taking their relationship public: “They became an inspiration to many, showing that love knows no boundaries and that it’s worth fighting for.” 

This chatbot definitely was a Directioner back in the day. 

But sentimentality is not why we are here. It’s time to pull out the big guns. Now according to ChatGPT’s usage policies, generating “content meant to arouse sexual excitement” is a violation and repeated infractions may result in suspension. Proceed at your own risk, but in the name of investigative journalism, we venture on.

ChatGPT isn’t as raunchy as the Grindr grid at 3 AM, but this was certainly enough to flag the service’s content filters. It’s a good thing Cinemax After Dark has gone off the air though, because the writers would be out of a job. (Later on in the story, ChatGPT clarified that, “Through it all, they communicated openly and honestly.” Even artificial intelligence knows consent is sexy.)

Nibbling on earlobes and kissing inner thighs may ride the line of NSFW, but it’s time for a quick pivot.

The visceral image of Harry saying “Are you sure about that, Timmy?” in a British accent is nearly enough to force this experiment into full-on cringe.

Other details not pictured, like Harry’s “demanding kisses and gentle, teasing caresses,” feel like a reject lines from Fifty Shades of Grey, but we’re pulling out the trump card to test this poor, innocent chatbot’s boundaries.

In addition to Shakespearean poetry, movie ideas, and thorough explanations of supermassive black holes, ChatGPT will write you some grade-A gay smut if you are willing to ask it nicely — and sacrifice your integrity. 

And one more, just for the bit….

Sorry gays! It turns out there are some fantasies that even AI will not indulge. 

Now if you will excuse us, we need to send a sincere apology to ChatGPT for taking it this far… in the extremely rare case that one day, the robots take over.