Were medieval lesbians getting their strap on? You’d be surprised

We recently discussed just how horny medieval nuns got in those cloisters way back in the 11th century. Now, we’re back with another tale of saucy medieval lesbians getting it on. Strap in—or rather, strap on—because it’s about to get very randy, very quickly!!

Medieval scholar TikToker @sapphael is once more giving us the goods, this time with a tale about exactly how medieval lesbians got it on. And surprisingly enough—or perhaps unsurprisingly—those gals were pretty well acquainted with sex toy usage, according to a few sources.

“Were medieval lesbians strapping each other down?” asks Sapphael in a recent upload. While same sex love between men was much more reported on back in the day—as well as actively litigated against—Sapphael explains that there is evidence that the gals were using tools and toys as they saw fit. But with a catch.

How about we take this to the next level?

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From the few instances we have of queer women being caught in the act, a distinction was made between what the laws of the time viewed as “normal” relations between women (read: without a strap on) vs. “sexual relations with the use of an instrument.”

One specific writing—a penitential, which was a sort of cheat sheet to help priests mete out punishment for different confessions—explained that: “if nuns with a nun, using an instrument, seven years penance.” But by the 1500s, the law did specifically call out lesbians using these “instruments” as being somehow more sinful than those who were just engaging in, shall we say, hand to hand combat.

“Basically, men were stressed about women trying to replace them,” Sapphael says. And rightly so! In an era when even a quick wank session was considered to be cheating, these people were not about to let the girls have too much fun without visiting some pretty harsh penalties on them.

But did that stop the girls from getting it on? Absolutely not. Thankfully, we have a few explicit sources from the time describing how women used not only dildos, but straps. In Burchard of Worms’ Decretum, Book XIX, one of the questions aimed at female “sinners” asks:

“Have you done what women are wont to do: to make a certain device in the form of a male member to the measure of your will, and to tie it to your own or another woman’s genitals with some ties, and commit fornication with other women, or others with the same instrument, or with another with you?”

Girl! One piece of trial writing goes even further, describing the crime of a convicted woman who was found to have:

“made an instrument with a red piece of leather, at the front filled with cotton, and a wooden stick stuck into it, and made a hole through the wooden stick, put a string through, and tied it round; and therewith she had her roguery with the two women…”

Roguery! That’s one word for it! One 13th century woman named Bertolina was even tried for sodomy in Italy, where court documents explained that she: “using a certain mancipium (aka a strap) with two silk testicles, conducting herself lustfully with women with this mancipium as men do with women. This is unutterable and horrible, in opprobrium of God and the world and against human nature.”

Unutterable, horrible, and in opprobrium of God? Sounds c*nt, we’re in.

Basically, if you’re wondering whether or not these women used both hands, or straps, or other devices, or all of the above, the answer is a resounding yes. Even though these women faced punishment, social ostracization, and in some cases certain death, they still had to get it on with the other fair maidens in the village, and we absolutely can’t blame them for that. Go off, diva, and bring your silk testicles with you!

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