Bottoming for their husband, sliding down the candy chute, & a Good Friday group bang: Gays share their holiday traditions

Happy holidays! With “Gay Christmas” around the corner, we’re getting ready to spread campy cheer.

Indeed, Halloween is the queerest of celebrations, largely due to its subversive nature. Embraced by Philadelphia’s gay community in the mid-20th century–“b*tches Christmas” included drag and drunken bar crawls–queer Halloween parties sprung up in gayborhoods across the country during the ’70s.

How about we take this to the next level?

Subscribe to our newsletter for a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Subscribe to our Newsletter today

It’s the one time of year when transgression is encouraged. No wonder gays love it!

“It was a time of year when it was celebrated as opposed to the rest of the year where it may be looked upon as being too extra, too fabulous or too flamboyant,” the founder of the Halloween parade in Boystown, Chicago told NBC.

In Los Angeles, it’s not uncommon for gays to stretch out the spooky & scantily-clad fun over the course of THREE weekends.

For queer people, the rest of the holiday season doesn’t always invoke the same celebratory feelings. That’s when chosen families, and sacred traditions, become paramount.

With the temps dropping and decorations popping up, we decided this week to ask Queerty readers about the holiday rituals they hold dear. The answers ranged from family-friendly to explicit, just like Christmas dinner when everyone has been served too much egg nog.

Here’s what they had to say…

What is your favorite holiday ritual and why?

“Cooking Christmas dinner always takes me back to childhood. Those big family gatherings where everyone came together. It really was a magical time. I miss that feeling as an adult, now that so many of our loved ones have passed on or live far away, each in their own world.” — Jason in South Africa

Such a sweet sentiment, Jason, and thank you for checking in from South Africa! Food is a wonderful way to share familial memories. It’s great to see you’re keeping your family’s tradition alive, regardless of where everybody may be.

“Decorating the Christmas/Solstice tree. We put on a mix of Christmas music, ranging from The Peanuts special to Elvis and James Brown’s ‘Santa’s Got a Brand New Bag!’ What makes it special is that in addition to some heirloom ornaments we have from our childhoods, we have been buying ornaments to commemorate anniversaries and trips we have taken.  We’ve been together over 30 years now, so it’s a lot of great memories.” — Mattster in Boston

So far, we are getting much more wholesome answers for this “Queerty Query” than our typical fare about tops and bottoms and wild cruising stories. Can anybody figure out why?!

But seriously, it sounds like you have an awesome tradition, Mattster. We love the idea of a Christmas/Solstice tree serving as a testament to you and your partner’s 30-year relationship. There is one iconic song missing from your holiday playlist, however. All we want for Christmas… is you!!

“I once dated a guy who knew I was into analingus, so he thoughtfully had a mistletoe tattooed over his crack. Wasn’t that considerate of him?” — Matt in Plainview, New York

We had to circle the drain at some point! That does sound super considerate, Matt. And since your date’s mistletoe was tattooed, we suppose it was the gift that kept on giving all year long.

“My neighborhood gets a lot of kids from other areas of the city. Aside from being seen as safer, there’s also a lot of dense housing. Every year, I’ve given out king size bars! Love the looks on the kids’ faces when they realize they got a big one. When 2020 hit, I made a ‘candy slide’ to keep the kids on the sidewalk and me and my husband on our porch. I’ve kept it up ever since. It really entertains the kids and parents! They call it the ‘candy chute house!’ Husband still complains about the barriers I put up on the staircase, but every year, some kids still try to come up to the door.” — Dan in Baltimore

It sounds like you’re turning the kids in your neighborhood into a bunch of size queens! Indeed, it makes sense to erect a barrier. If we’re ever in town, we would love to slide down your (candy) chute, Dave ????.

“Considering I’m from the Buckeye State, it would be making buckeye candy from scratch during fall, leading up to Halloween.” — Tom in Ohio

With all due respect to Dan and his big bars, it sounds like Tom is offering the tastiest treats on the block. According to our research, buckeyes are peanut butter fudge candy balls dipped in chocolate. We love those nuts!

“So my answer may be (gasp!) conventional and conservative. But for the last seven years, I have made trifle for Christmas. Think an elaborate affair with multiple layers of jelly, homemade custard and fruit. I love taking the time to carefully prepare it for family and friends. It’s quite the showstopper! The thing is, last year, I finally–finally–fully perfected it. It looked like a million bucks!

“Which makes me think I should find something else to make, while I am ahead. Maybe a cheesecake, or a festive chocolate mousse with spices? Could we have a Queerty Query about our fav desserts?” — Adam in Melbourne, Australia

Adam, it sounds like you know how to keep us stuffed! We are thinking about your elaborate trifle, and our mouths are watering. Next up, how about something with a cream filling?

“Having Friendsgiving with my chosen family (can’t go back home for Thanksgiving since my family disowned me for coming out). It’s an annual tradition to be with my close friends and fellow LGBTQIA+ community who also can’t go home due to their family not accepting them. I wish LGBTQIA+ spots had more events for those who can’t go home for the holidays, a safe space when so many feel so lonely and depressed.” — DeJesus in Staten Island

That’s what chosen families are for, DeJesus. For generations, LGBTQ+ people have found solace in one another, just like you and your friends. We’re certain that everyone in your circle appreciates your generosity and warmth.

“Ever since I was in college, I have decorated the Christmas tree wearing only my underwear. And I have an underwear ornament.” — Dave in Phoenix, Arizona

But… what kind of underwear, Dave?! We’re hoping it’s a pair that would place you on the naughty list ????.

“I bottom for my husband exactly twice a year: on his birthday (which conveniently happens to be the day after Christmas) and on our anniversary in June. The timing is perfect. Once every six months. Otherwise I am a total top. This has been our tradition for 28 years and we both still look forward to it.” — Cooper in St. Louis, Missouri

It’s always nice to receive a gift around the holidays, isn’t it? It’s nice that your husband knows exactly what to provide… twice per year, that is.

“Good Friday Gangbang–and my GOD it is.” — Stan in Chicago

Amen to that!

Sign up for the Queerty newsletter to stay on top of the hottest stories in LGBTQ+ entertainment, politics, and culture.