‘80s singer Thomas Dolby on raising queer kids: “The eldest is trans, the middle is a lesbian, & the youngest is a drummer”

I wasn’t aware of being a darling of [the gay community] the way, let’s say, Bette Midler might have been or somebody like Barbra Streisand.

I think the appeal of my music crossed barriers. When I went to see Prince in the early days, I was amazed by the age, the race, the proclivities of his audience; it was right across the map. I think queer was a good way to describe his audience in those days. I certainly didn’t put any labels on anything. But through the history of people I’ve played with … there’s a lot of LGBTQ people right there.

In my own family, there’s a lot, as well. I have three kids. The eldest is trans, the middle one is a lesbian, and the youngest is a drummer.

When my eldest kid transitioned – his name now is Harper, and he’s 35 – but he transitioned in his late teens. That was before there were a lot of high-profile trans people. We were living in the UK at the time, and he was an activist and very much a mentor for other kids and their families.

He felt very fortunate that his parents were very progressive; that we supported him. At the time when he started down this path, we were living in San Francisco. So straight, vanilla people were in the minority there. Then we went to the UK, and he went on BBC morning TV to talk about his experience, to help other kids, and so on.

I started to get social media comments saying, “Right on! Great that you’re supportive.” People would start to notice things in my songs; they’d pick up on lyrical things. Even before my son transitioned, I had a song called “Simone” that was about a trans person.English musician Thomas Dolby, 67, speaking to Bay Area Reporter about parenting his queer children with wife, ‘Dynasty’ actress Kathleen Beller.