Where do the gay cruises go? We ranked some of our favorite ports

Gay cruises are famous for hosting parties onboard while at sea. But what about the ports? When the ship is docked, are the actual destinations worth seeing? Every tourist destination has pros and cons, but experienced cruisers may say, there are some ports of call that aren’t worth the trouble of getting off of the ship. However, a great day at a port can turn a cruise into a lifelong memory.

Let’s take a look at some of the more popular ports that gay cruises visit, and how to make the most of a day on their shores.

Pack your bags, we’re going on an adventure

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Colón and Panama City, Panama
Visited by: Virgin Voyages Brilliant Lady with Atlantis Cruises

Colón sits at the Atlantic Ocean entry of the Panama Canal, and this small city is more of an industrial center, not a tourist destination. There are small markets near the port, where local artisans sell handmade goods, which can be fun. There are some nice beaches nearby, and there are lovely tropical forests where sloths can be spotted in the trees. But first-time visitors to Colón should join a cruise-sponsored excursion to visit these attractions, as travel infrastructure is not reliable (or reliably safe).

However, Colón is only an hour away from Panama City, which is a beautiful, modern city, and it is an underrated gem in Central America. Casco Viejo, the Panama City historic district, was recently revitalized with restaurants and shops, while preserving the lovely plazas and historic churches that give the area its unique charm. The wide variety of restaurants reflect the international influences of the city’s location near a free-trade zone, so local Panamanian cuisine is served alongside Japanese or Italian, and of course fresh seafood is in plentiful supply. As an added bonus, the water in Panama City is generally safe to drink, thanks to the engineering efforts of the former U.S. military occupation of the Panama Canal Zone.

For anyone who wants to visit the Panama Canal, most visitors go to the Miraflores Visitors Center, near Panama City, which has a kitschy but informative museum, and viewing platforms to watch the ships rise and descend through the various locks of the canal. (Near Colón, the Agua Clara Visitor Center has a panoramic view of the inland waterway.) But from the viewing platforms, the system of locks is more industrial than picturesque. The best views of the canal will be seen onboard the ship as it passes through. So go out and see Panama while you are there.

Ibiza, Spain
Visited by Celebrity Equinox by VACAYA Cruises

Ibiza is world-famous for its nightclubs, which are some of the largest in the world, but cruises usually don’t stop in Ibiza overnight. So what is there to do during the day?

A lot, actually. Ibiza has a calmer side that’s easy to appreciate once you step away from the club scene. Ibiza became a popular artists’ enclave after World War II, when creative-minded people from northern Europe fled to this island to escape persecution. Besides being an epicenter for electronic music, Ibiza is also home to artists, holistic health practitioners, and metaphysical gurus who claim the island vibrates with a spiritual magnetic energy.

In the old town of Dalt Vila, the fortified walls, cobbled streets, and small neighborhood shops make it feel more like a historic Mediterranean village than a party hub. It’s the kind of place where you can wander without an agenda, visit the cathedral, browse a few galleries, and take in wide views of the harbor from the top of the hill, at the cathedral.

In the center of the island, the town of Santa Gertrudis has small cafes and tapas bars, where locals and tourists mingle and chitchat about how wonderful life is in Ibiza. Some of the businesses here are closed during the winter low season, but longstanding favorites like Restaurante Santa Gertrudis and Es Jardins de Fruitera serve year-round, and offer fabulous ambience.

Ibiza has several “hippy markets,” established several decades ago for free-spirited artisans to make a bit of money selling handmade goods, although now the markets have been somewhat infiltrated by imported junk. But there are still some items worth packing in your suitcase and taking home, and they are fun to people watch. Punta Arabi is usually open on Wednesdays, San Rafael on Thursdays, Las Dalias on Saturdays and Sundays, and on and on. Just beware, Uber has drivers in Ibiza, but the cars can take a long time to arrive. Try the local version, TaxiClick, for a quicker response.

Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
Visited by Virgin Voyages Brilliant Lady, with Atlantis Cruises

Puerto Vallarta is a top gay travel destinations, thanks to a big nightclub scene and also several all-male hotels with clothing-optional pools. Beyond the gay scene, there is much to enjoy about Puerto Vallarta during the day when cruise ships dock at the port. The Pacific Coast of Mexico is an ecological treasure, and excursions bring travelers to see tropical forests, waterfalls, and spots for snorkeling. The water is not generally as vibrant blue as in the Caribbean, but the beaches are nonetheless nice. If you go to the beach in Puerto Vallarta itself, be prepared to encounter merchants offering bottles of water, or handmade crafts, or whatever else they have to sell.

Travelers usually spend time in Zona Romantica, the historic area with shops and restaurants, and also many of Puerto Vallarta’s gay bars. Zona Romantica is a beautiful area for walking around and enjoying the sights, but wear comfortable shoes that can handle the cobblestone streets. For local artisan gifts, check out Mercado Municipal Rio Cuale, and perhaps buy some of Puerto Vallarta’s famous Talavera pottery.

Food tours are especially fun in Puerto Vallarta, and also a great way to see the city. Besides the excursions that cruise line may sponsor, reserving a food tour on your own is very easy–try Vallarta Food Tours, which offers different styles of food and drinks during their various tours.

Getting around PV is easy, thanks to plentiful cabs, although sometimes speaking a little Spanish is helpful to communicate with drivers. Negotiate a price before you start the ride, the taxis do not run on meters; a trip from the port to the center of town should be less than $10. Uber operates in the city, but sometimes it can take a while to find a car.

Cairo, Egypt
Visited by Brand G Vacations

Any river cruise along the Nile will include some time in Cairo, the capitol of Egypt and the largest city in the Middle East. Located near the marvelous Pyramids of Giza, the Great Sphinx, the Valley of Kings, and countless other archaeological marvels, Cairo is also a huge, crowded metropolis, where traffic can be on an epic scale, and pedestrian alleys are filled with khertee, the overly “helpful” salespeople who are always on the lookout for tourists with money. Visiting with tour groups is a great idea for Cairo, for the sake of getting in and out of destinations efficiently. But for those moments of unscheduled downtime, a little preparation is definitely helpful before wandering off to explore.

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The big news for Cairo is the opening of the Grand Egyptian Museum, the largest archaeological museum dedicated to a single civilization on Earth, and of course it is a must-see. But there are many smaller cultural sites throughout Cairo that also make for a memorable visit. El-Moez St in Old Cairo, also known as Al-Mu’izz Street, is dotted with little historical sites, and although it is less than a mile long, absorbing the history is best accomplished with a local expert. For a few relaxing hours on your own, go to Zamalek, an affluent area filled with restaurants and gardens, and check out the Islamic Ceramics Museum for a little bit. Salah el Din Citadel, otherwise known as the Cairo Citadel, towers over the city and provides some great views, or check out Mohamed Ali Mosque, which was built in the 1800s, which is almost like new in Egypt, and it is one of the most magnificent religious sites in the Arab world. (Keep in mind, it is a mosque, not a tourist attraction, so visitors should dress respectfully.)

Khan al Khalili, the historic bazaar, is filled all day with locals and tourists alike, crowding the narrow corridors, so it is best explored early in the day. Haggling is of course required when purchasing anything.

Valletta, Malta
Visited by Virgin Voyages Scarlet Lady with Atlantis Cruises

The island nation of Malta sits at the crossroads–or crosswaters, in this situation–of southern Italy and northern Africa, and the culture reflects the confluence of Catholic culture and the Arab world. The architecture in Valletta, the capitol, is a mix of 17th Century Baroque cathedrals, stone fortresses, and classic Victorian design thanks to the later occupation by the British. But this is still an island, and the friendly people here live at a slower pace, on “island time.”

The Knights of St. John settled on Malta in the 1500’s when they were on the run from the Turks of the Ottoman Empire (now Türkiye). They chose the island because it is basically a stone fortress sticking out of the Mediterranean Sea, and the island’s high cliffs, descending into the ocean, offered excellent protection from marauding invaders. This makes the views spectacular, although if you are looking for a beach paradise, Malta really isn’t it. There are a few beaches, but Malta is better enjoyed from a historical perspective. Tours travel around the island and delve into the fascinating history of the various battles and occupations of the island, a story told through the surviving stone fortresses that still stand along the rocky coast.

The historic district, Mdina, is in the middle of the island, Mdina is a UNESCO historical site, it is stunning, and it is a must-see. The local rideshare, Ecab, works directly with Malta’s taxi companies, and Mdina is an easy taxi ride from Valletta.

It should be noted, someone in Malta will probably brag about Malta’s Blue Grotto, which is a beautiful inlet with super-blue water, that was used as the filming location of the 1980 movie “Popeye.” The set is still there, and visitors can go see it. But, if you are in Malta for just one day, there are a lot of other things to see and do besides visit the Blue Grotto.

While you’re in Malta, be sure to eat a cannoli. This sweet treat was created in nearby Sicily, and cafes all over the island serve many varieties. Delicious.

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