Bi guys like me should try ‘jumping out of the plane,’ says former pro footballer
Mitch Brown is challenging other bisexual men in straight-presenting relationships. 'I'm feeling that rush that I'm living my truth.' The post Bi guys like me should try ‘jumping out of the plane,’ says former pro footballer appeared first on Outsports.
Mark
Mitch Brown wanted to change the conversation in Australian men’s sports. Now he’s leading it.
The former AFL player, who spent a decade with professional Perth club West Coast Eagles, came out publicly as bisexual in August, as the fallout from yet another homophobic slur incident was dominating the headlines.
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Former West Coast Eagles defender Mitch Brown’s decision to share his story has moved Australia’s favorite sport a step forward.
Brown said he was frustrated that Aussie rules kept repeating itself on attempts to curb anti-LGBTQ language, without the AFL ever being able to reference even one out gay or bi man in its entire 129-year history.
He decided to share his story in the media after talking to his partner, Lou Keck. Since then, he’s been invited onto some of Australia’s most popular podcasts, answering questions about the other side of coming out.
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In the annual Bisexual Awareness Week, which culminates in Bi Visibility Day on Sept. 23, Brown is a guest on “The Imperfects” — a pod that manages to go deep into mental health while still finding humor and comedy in life’s absurdities.
The 36-year-old was asked about the reactions to his personal news, particularly in light of the fact he’s in a relationship with a woman.
“We’ve had a lot of that,” admitted Brown. “Questions like, ‘why did you decide to come out? You’re straight presenting, you’re with a woman, like… what?’
“Some people were even questioning if it’s even real, my sexuality. It’s real!”
However, saying that you’re bi, particularly for male pro athletes (even retired ones), remains rare. Brown acknowledges that, for many people, it must seem like an odd choice to speak out.
Still, he recommends that bi guys like him who have internalized being unusual or somehow strange should give serious thought to releasing those feelings. At some point, he suggests, that would mean opening up to their wives or girlfriends.
“The weird and the wacky and the kinks… if you feel like you can’t share that with your partner, then you’re not revealing your true self,” says Brown.
“And what starts to happen, in my experience, is the seed of resentment starts to grow.
“Then that resentment shows up in another form — frustration, anger, anything else.
“So, why not test it, or tell people your true self? And I acknowledge that that’s really hard, and there’s aspects of safety around that as well.
“But I do challenge people to work towards that because, if I like something so ‘weird’ and I’m ashamed of it and I can’t share that with my most closest person, then I’m not being myself and I’m going to resent that later on.”
@theimperfectspodcast Mitch Brown made history by becoming the first man in 129 years of AFL to come out as bisexual. The public’s reaction and the messages he’s received in the last few weeks show just how important visibility is. In this episode, Mitch speaks about what it was like growing up in a hyper-masculine environment playing footy with his brothers. He talks about feeling like ‘the spare’ to his twin brother Nathan and struggling to find his own identity, and why it was important to have empathy for Izak Rankine after he was banned for using a homophobic slur. Today, Mitch is living as his authentic self, co-parenting and being a loving partner and friend. In his words, “families look different and that’s beautiful.” Listen now wherever you get your podcasts or watch the full episode on YouTube. ♬ original sound – The Imperfects
Mitch Brown is sure coming out as bi was ‘the right thing’ to do
For athletes and sports fans who are bi men, there is still just a small group of guys to look up to who have come out, and even fewer who have spoken at length on the topic, in the way Brown has recently.
R.K. Russell, who played NFL football for the Dallas Cowboys and Tampa Bay Buccaneers, is almost certainly the most widely known from the pro sports world. He went public via an essay for ESPN in 2019 and has since written an acclaimed memoir, titled “The Yards Between Us.”
At the Paris 2024 Olympics, Argentina field hockey player Nico Keenan and Brazilian trampoline gymnast Rayan Dutra were thought to be the only out bi competitors among more than 5,000 male athletes.
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Brown, who’s also a dad of two young boys from a previous relationship, likens the experience of becoming visible to jumping out of a plane.
On another of his recent podcast appearances, on a show called “Inherited” which asks its guests what has shaped their lives, he looks back on what happened after his leap of faith.
“It was so positive, so incredibly heartwarming,” he says. “You put yourself out there in a vulnerable way and to feel the love dramatically straight away, it feels so good.
“I was like, ‘yes, I jumped out of that plane and now I’m feeling that rush that I’m living my truth and I’ve done the right thing.’”
@inheritedthepod #football #afl #queer #lgbtq #mitchbrown ♬ original sound – Inherited Podcast
He has a twin, Nathan, who won the AFL Grand Final with Collingwood in 2010 and then went on to play for St Kilda. They also have an older brother, Cameron.
“I had to hide these feelings around my sexuality for a long time. People forget about my brothers, former teammates, friends that I’ve had since I was five years old… imagine if your best friend said, ‘hey, I couldn’t be myself for my whole life’ — but you’ve been a big part of your friend’s life.
“How would that make you feel? It’s not a feeling of hurt, but it’s this feeling of, ‘I’m so sorry.’”
With his partner Lou, he’s started up a joint TikTok account in an attempt to break down stigmas and stereotypes about bisexuality.
@lmk283mjb Happy Bisexual Awareness week
♬ original sound – Lou + Mitch
He says he’s got no regrets about metaphorically jumping out of the plane.
“I’ve grabbed my life with two hands,” he adds.
“I’m going to start living the way I want to, be me, and choose the people that I want to be around… I don’t need negativity in my life.
“I know not everyone’s lucky enough to have been in those situations when they can think like that. But for me, in this moment, I can, so I’m going to take that opportunity.”
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The post Bi guys like me should try ‘jumping out of the plane,’ says former pro footballer appeared first on Outsports.
