Christian university coach in California told gay tennis player ‘don’t come here’

In the spring of 2019, I began narrowing down my offers to play college tennis at various public and private universities.

After some research, I discovered that several of the private schools I had applied to had been granted exemptions to Title IX regulations, a 1972 law that prohibits discrimination based on sex in education. 

To seek clarification, I reached out to the coaches of the schools recruiting me to clarify how strictly these rules were enforced on LGBTQ students. I tried to ask whether an openly gay family member would be able to come visit, attempting to avoid jeopardizing my admittance.

One coach at a private school on the West Coast saw through my line of questioning.

Get off the sidelines and into the game

Our weekly playbook is packed with everything from locker room chatter to pressing LGBTQ sports issues.
Subscribe to our Newsletter today

“If the code applies to you, don’t come, regardless of my personal opinions on the matter,” this coach told me.

At first, I was taken aback, and slightly vexed, by his remark. But in hindsight, I suspect he may have been looking out for me.

Related

For gay tennis player, reconciling his faith was a spur for him to come out
College freshman Colby Grey grew up hearing his church condemn gay people, but he realized they were twisting the Bible and he stayed true to himself.

These handful of schools were not anomalies: As of 2023, 133 private universities held a religious exemption to Title IX, but they still remain eligible for federal and state funding for student aid, as well as receiving tax-free donations. 

The student handbook codes at several of the private universities I had been admitted to, such as Point Loma Nazarene University, Westmont College and Pepperdine University, contained multiple sections about bans on same-sex relationships.

My top choice, Pepperdine, says on its website that “sexual relationships are designed by God to be expressed solely within a marriage between husband and wife. This view of sexuality and marriage is rooted in the Genesis account of creation and is maintained consistently throughout scripture.”

These sections go beyond premarital sexual relations, and specifically prohibit romantic relationships of any kind between two people of the same sex. 

For students who, as Pepperdine states, “experience same-sex attraction,” they are offered resources, such as a campus support group. It’s unclear the end goal of the support group, but it’s safe to assume that it’s designed to help students manage or suppress their desires toward the same sex.

Furthermore, many of the school’s handbooks include intricately worded statements to protect themselves from litigation.

Pepperdine has a Q&A section that addresses LGBTQ students on scholarships, which is cleverly crafted, stating: “Students cannot lose their scholarships or face disciplinary action just for identifying as LGBTQ.” The key word here is “just,” leaving the door open to discrimination for acting upon sexual orientation. Notably, in 2016, Pepperdine withdrew its exemption to Title IX but maintained its handbook policies.

Many churches have shifted their stances from “it’s a sin to be gay” to “it’s a sin to act upon same-sex attraction,” a repositioning thanks to Pope Francis’ efforts to decriminalize homosexuality and welcome LGBTQ people into the Catholic Church.

While some universities have gone as far as expelling students based solely on identity, most universities insist it is about controlling the actions of gay individuals. However, if the church acknowledges that orientation is set at birth, it fails to answer why God wishes to deprive homosexuals of the same loving relationships as heterosexuals.

I would argue that any shift on this issue by the church, even as minor as reframing sin away from sexual orientation to sexual relations outside of marriage, is a welcome change, especially if you consider how far the church has progressed thanks to Francis’ efforts. However, this is a matter for the private sector to work out; this does not mean that we, as taxpayers, should accept our federal and state tax dollars being used to subsidize universities that circumvent Title IX loopholes.

Title IX exemptions have not gone without their fair share of controversy. In 2014, two athletes on the Pepperdine women’s basketball team — Layana White and Haley Videckis — filed a lawsuit against Pepperdine, alleging that they were discriminated against by the coach who said that their relationship “would cause the team to lose games.”

In response, Pepperdine attempted to dismiss the lawsuit, arguing that Title IX does not cover sexual orientation discrimination. 

While Pepperdine was ultimately successful, the precedent set by the two plaintiffs was monumental, as it was “one of the first times that a discrimination claim based on sexual orientation went to trial under the landmark Title IX law,” which opened the door for new discrimination cases to be brought under Title IX.

Ultimately, because of the provisions against gay students at three out of the seven schools I was considering, I chose to play tennis for a public university, UC Santa Cruz, whose team and coach culture was immensely supportive.

Sadly, our 2020 tennis season was canceled when life got turned upside down for everyone. 

However, this issue remains important to me because many athletes who play for private Christian universities are unaware of their university’s discriminatory handbook policies. Their unfamiliarity is understandable; in nearly all of the student handbooks I found, the universities claim they “welcome people of all faith backgrounds.” Therefore, many athletes from outside of these religious traditions are heavily recruited. 

Coaches have a responsibility to make their athletes aware of the strict regulations at their universities, which frequently encompass more than issues of sexual orientation, and include mandates like abstinence before marriage and curfews on social interactions between opposite genders.

I’m sympathetic toward the religious freedom protections that private universities hold and believe strongly in the 1st Amendment.

However, the key difference is that the 1st Amendment mandates the separation of the church from the state. If universities claim to be exempt from the rules regarding Title IX because they are so-called “privatized entities,” their scholarship funding should also come from private sources, not taxpayer money.

Colby Grey is a freelance writer who reports on sports, travel, lifestyle, politics and finance. He played college tennis for UC Santa Cruz and told his coming out story in 2019.

Subscribe to the Outsports newsletter to keep up with your favorite out athletes, inspiring LGBTQ sports stories, and more.

The post Christian university coach in California told gay tennis player ‘don’t come here’ appeared first on Outsports.