Gays stand up for their demonized gal pals & their right to go to queer bars

Now that Pride is over and the annual debate over bisexual women and their straight boyfriends can rest for another year, it’s time for another favorite topic of discourse: gays who bring their girlfriends to the club.

On X, a person who posts under “Jolina Jasmine” declared they “HATE” it when gay men walk into gay bars with a gaggle of girlies. “I’m all for allies, but come make friends with your fellow gays there,” they added. “That’s the point of the club.”

Not so fast, added dozens of gays standing up for the polarizing practice. Some cited how young gays rely on their best gal pals for support, while others said they just enjoy dancing with their friends… even if they are, gasp, girls.

With gay bars closing across the country, straight girls who patronize gay spaces are popular punching bags. They are painted as breasted manifestations of respectability politics, representing gentrified gayborhoods and societal sterilization with each step they take.

How about we take this to the next level?

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But the truth is far more nuanced. There’s a difference between loud bachelorettes and loyal girlfriends, and even so, complaining about girls at gay bars in 2026 is a bit of an eye roll. Going to The Abbey and bemoaning the number of straight women is akin to, well, going to the Vatican and kvetching about tourists.

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Justice for the girlies

It’s hard to find a more satirized character than the lonely f*g hag. Coined in the ’70s, the term has always carried a negative connotation. As  two academics put it, “[T]he f*g hag exists on the fringes of an already marginalized life—that of her gay best friend.”

Originally used as a pejorative to describe feminists, it grew to become a phrase that gays use to describe insecure women who clamp onto their doddering gay besties. Think Will and Grace, or Carrie Bradshaw and Stanford Blatch.

But typically speaking, those aren’t the kinds of girls who show up to the gay bar so they can take care of their beloved baby gay when he inevitably chugs down one too many vodka and sodas.

“A seminal moment in every fledgling homo’s young life is going to the gay club with their best gal pal, because going alone is far too daunting,” added “Mistopher Mack.”

Indeed, some young gays find it intimidating to venture out alone, surrounded by seasoned partygoers. But gays of all ages say they find joy in dancing with their girlfriends.

As far as the girls themselves, they insist they’re not all the same. And they’re right!

The bachelorette difference

On another, yet related corner of Gay Twitter, somebody snapped a photo of a sign at a popular gay bar in Palm Springs warning women to be respectful. “Our spaces should be inclusive to all but we should address the bad behavior,” he said.

On that, it’s hard to disagree. Straight women who enter gay spaces and don’t show respect deserve to be exiled. We recall the case of a groaning girlie last summer who went viral for complaining about going to a gay bar and being ignored by the patrons.

Babe, it’s a gay bar! What did you expect?

Conversely, many women go to gay bars and treat everyone respectfully.

But sometimes, that respect isn’t returned. Some women pointed out the irony in gays stereotyping that all women in gay bars are straight. With only a smattering of lesbian bars in the U.S., our sapphic sisters have few places to go.

After a while, “Jolina Jasmine” waved the white flag.

“Also, I do want to make it abundantly clear,” they posted. “There’s a huge difference between straight girls who genuinely are allies of the community VS straight girls who are not.”

Time and place

The fact is, some gay bars are for the girls. And that’s OK! Famous gay bars on famous strips–such as The Abbey in WeHo or Sidetrack in Boystown–are more tourist attraction than local watering hole. They’re supposed to be bubblegum and pop music.

There are plenty of gay bars that girls and their baby gays don’t frequent. Here’s one way to tell: they usually have a dark room, and don’t show RuPaul’s Drag Race.

“There are many a gay bar that are straight girl friendly and many a gay bar that are not,” somebody added. “It’s our job as gays to know which is which when we have our girlies with us.”

At a time when LGBTQ+ acceptance is falling, beating up on straight girls who wanna dance with their favorite gays to pop music misses the mark. There are far bigger enemies in the world.

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