Harry Styles’ short shorts, ghosts & gay brunch: 10 things we’re obsessed with this week
Buying, bopping, and blasting tunes for ghosts in the bathroom
Mark
April showers have brought May flowers, but the fifth month of the year arrived with much less fanfare and a dearth of “it’s gonna be May” memes.
That said, this week has given the gays plenty to celebrate, like when Miles Heizer showed off his boots-down body, Rocky Horror went late-night, and we, hands-down, won the MET Gala.
How about we take this to the next level?
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Plus, Drag Race‘s Cucu shared words to the haters, the history of Hercules got gayer, and a silver daddy manspread. So, perhaps, not all is lost.
Otherwise, we’ve been buying, bopping, and blasting tunes for ghosts in the bathroom. More on the later….
Now presenting… the 10 things we’re obsessed with this week.
1. Brunch is Gay Mug
Straight culture can take our language, style, and even our love for Antoni Porowski, but the one thing they’ll never fully wrestle from our well manicured hands is brunch. The meal combining breakfast and lunch is indisputably and canonically gay, a statement backed up by this adorable mug, available for $24 online from New York dishware favorite, Fishs Eddy. Everyone knows if it’s written in cursive, it must be true.
2. Progress Flower Pride Flag
Finally, an official Pride flag for the plant gays! JK. In all seriousness, the Progress Flower Pride Flag — available in garden and large sizes, starting at $24.99 on LGBTQ Outpost — is an inventive twist on the rainbow stripes we know and love, transforming the pattern into both a celebration of nature and a work of art. Fittingly, it was inspired by the color and vibrancy of the queer community. “Like the many gardens and life on this planet, we also just want to bloom,” its artist, Brayan Montes-Terrazas, explained.
3. MIKA’s Spinning Out Tour
Like a fine wine or a nostalgic pop song, MIKA keeps getting better. The multi-platinum, Grammy-nominated queer icon recently brought his Spinning Out Tour to New York City, where he kicked off the rooftop concert season at Pier 17 with a kaleidoscopic, era-spanning, high-energy show packed with tunes new and old. As the sun set on the skyline, he captivated the audience with introspective bops about love in the modern age, jazzy arrangements of favorites like “Lollipop,” and, at one point, a giant, inflatable rainbow that seemingly appeared out of nowhere. That said, my absolute favorite part was when he led the crowd in a shout-singing performance of queer anthem “We Are Golden,” and the entire audience seemed to float with unbridled joy — and because we were jumping so much.
There are only a few dates left on his North American jaunt, but if you get the opportunity, don’t miss out.
4. “Horses and Divorces” by Kacey Musgraves & Miranda Lambert
Kacey Musgraves recruited fellow country singer and longtime frenemy Miranda Lambert for a swaying duet on her new album Middle of Nowhere, and it’s basically “Girl So Confusing” for women who drink Monster and wear cowboy boots.
After years of pitting themselves against each other in the industry, the two songwriting heavyweights discovered they’ve got a few things in common: “Like horses and divorces and we both like to drink.” You hear that? It’s the sound of Girl World healing.
5. Tums’ impressive merch collection?!?
I regret to inform you that not only does everyone’s favorite antacid have a merchandise collection, but it’s actually kind of cute. My personal favorites are the Anti Heartburn Club Shirt ($25), Reversible Bucket Hat ($40), and the fact I got a promoted ad for these, which is basically the algorithm’s way of reminding me I’m no longer a 23-year-old twink. At least they’re not Pepto-Bismol pink.
6. The Devil Wears Prada 2
It was a risky move to make a sequel to a beloved classic 20 years removed from its original release, and to be fair, the gays were scared. (In fact, some of us thought Miranda had dementia.) But I’m pleased to report Queen Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway, Stanley Tucci, and Emily Blunt stuck the landing on The Devil Wears Prada 2, now in theaters.
It’s not only an incisive look at the current state of print media and an answer to toxic Millennial workplace addiction, but undeniably camp, with the perfect amount of Lady Gaga. And I’m not the only homosexual who thinks so; last weekend, the film nearly tripled its original opening box office.
7. Whatever the heck is happening in the new Harry Styles music video
IDK what’s happening in Harry Styles’ new music video for “Dance No More,” but he should be jailed for the thirst that erupted inside my body when he began swinging that microphone around and thrusting in those red booty shorts. Also, where can I sign up for this class?!?
8. A phone case that won’t melt
Summer doesn’t officially start until June 21, so I purchased this kitschy firecracker popsicle phone case (available for the iPhone 15, 16, 17 and $5 online) as an act of protest against the slow-moving seasons. And as a constant reminder of how close we are to sipping spiked seltzers on the beach again. Bonus: It’s slim, durable, and wireless charging compatible!
9. “Playing new Madonna music for the spirit of Keith Haring”
Although Keith Haring isn’t here to bask in the gay glow of his friend Madonna’s new Confessions II era, one content creator took it upon himself to make sure his spirit got to revel in the queer ecstasy… by playing “I Feel So Free” on speaker phone in the bathroom he decorated at New York City’s LGBT Center. LOL.
“Keith, you would’ve loved this,” he jokes in the short clip. I wholeheartedly agree!
10. Pure Protein Vanilla Protein Shake
We can’t all get our protein straight from the source — LOL — and in the season of gainz, swole, and getting ready for Fire Island, I’ve developed an attachment to Pure Protein’s protein shakes (available in 12-pack and on sale for $25 on Amazon) that’s frankly, frightening.
These bad boys include 30 grams of protein, vitamins A,C, D, and E, and zinc, and are basically the closest that food science will ever get to a healthy vanilla milkshake.
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