ICE agents thought Tr*mp had their backs. Turns out, they thought wrong.
Hot tip: maybe don't make a deal with the devil?

The disastrous second year of Tr*mp’s disastrous second term began with an unholy tide of ICE agents terrorizing the streets of Minneapolis, thanks to aggressive recruitment campaigns that promised loan forgiveness, huge bonuses, and steady paychecks. But surprise! According to more than a few disgruntled New Reich employees, that ain’t happening. What a shock!
Last week, NowThis Impact reported that a wave of ICE agents are realizing their mistake in record time.
On Reddit, where the internet goes to complain, some recruits have been trying to figure where and when this alleged $50,000 is going to hit. But to exactly no one’s surprise, even the recruits who say they’ve received the payout are noting that it’s not what it seems.
How about we take this to the next level?
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First, the terms of the deal seem to have been kept vague by an administration that has everything to gain by not spelling out the fine print. ICE agents are only supposed to get that bonus for a commitment of five years of dedicated terrorism—presumably to stop people from taking the job, getting that bonus check, and immediately dipping.
But as others have explained, since the bonus is meant to be spaced out in installments of 10K per each year, it doesn’t leave much after taxes. As one poster explained, “it’s like $6000 after taxes and they put it in the regular paycheck so you end up paying about 4-5k in taxes on one check.”
Not to mention, locking yourself into a five-year commitment with a president who only has three years left — and a long reputation for stiffing contractors and breaking promises — feels like a spectacularly dumb move.
Oops! Looks like when you’re a little too eager to hunt and persecute your fellow human beings, you get screwed in the back end! Quel horreur!
Even worse, however, is that some recruits note that they’ve yet to be paid… since the start of the year. And some apparently aren’t even getting access to health insurance, which means if they get sick, that entire post-tax bonus will probably end up going directly toward hospital bills.
Comedian and New Yorker Lewis Black made this the subject of a recent set. “For forty years,” he begins, “New Yorkers have been telling people that D*nald Tr*mp doesn’t pay his contractors.” Black cites a 1988 case in which a contractor was hired to install toilet partitions at Tr*mp’s Atlantic City Taj Mahal property. He was promised $200,000. When he wasn’t paid, he took the matter to court and only managed to recap $70,000 after suing.
There’s more, of course: a cabinet maker, Tr*mp’s personal driver Noel Cintron, who worked for the family for decades and didn’t receive any of his promised overtime payout, and a drapery business that was stiffed on his full pay for a Las Vegas contract and had to sue.
Many ICE agents might be too young to know about this history, but it’s readily available online. And if they think Tr*mp having access to the Presidential salary is going to make a difference, they can keep right on dreaming. It’s never been about the money for Tr*mp—it’s been about power and negotiation. The art of the deal is pretty much promising people the moon and then never delivering.
Which, again, everyone with five brain cells already knew. Now, ICE agents are finding out the hard way, and they’re playing the world’s tiniest violins in hopes that they’ll be able to dredge up sympathy from the people they’ve spent a month terrorizing. No dice, kids! Maybe read the fine print next time.
Or better yet: don’t sell your soul for a paycheck. Especially that paycheck isn’t even real!
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Mark