Lily Allen goes scorched earth on ex David Harbour’s butt plugs & the gays are gagged

Once again, the gays on social media are abuzz about a West End Girl, although this time, we’re not talking about a UK stage actress — it’s Lily Allen‘s new record, which surprise-dropped last Friday and may be the “scorched-earth breakup album of the year.”

On her first LP since 2018, the pop singer — who, in fairness to the Broadway gays, recently starred in a contemporary adaptation of Hedda Gabler on the West End — spares no detail in recounting what led to her divorce from Stranger Things actor David Harbour earlier this year.

How about we take this to the next level?

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Of course, as nosy gay men, we’re pre-programmed to hyper-fixate on any intersection of tabloid fodder and pop beats.

But it’s even crazier because this time, butt plugs are involved.

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West End Girl opens up with the chipper-ish title track, in which Allen recounts moving into an apartment (which has been fabulously documented via Architectural Digest clips and hit the market this week) with then-husband Harbour, though cracks in the surface appear when he expresses outrage that she got cast in a play without auditioning. Naturally, she had the queer community rushing to her defense immediately.

That said, her relationship with a man that Gay Twitter X once called “daddy” falls apart quickly over the next 13 songs.

Allen lyrically reveals Harbour asked for an open marriage, broke their arrangement, started an affair with a woman referred to as “Madeline,” forced her into dating other men, and turned their extra West Village apartment into what she calls, um, a “P*ssy Palace.”

Bring in the butt plugs!

Perhaps what’s attracted the LGBTQ+ community (and the mainstream media at large) to Allen’s new record is the candidness with which she approached making music about a high-profile breakup, in the vein of Lemonade by Beyoncé and Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours.

On the disarmingly catchy P-word track, she recounts finding a “Duane Reade bag with the handles tied / Sex toys, butt plugs, lube inside,” and adds, “Hundreds of Trojans, you’re so f*cking broken / How’d I get caught up in your double life?” Oop!

That said, the “F*ck You” songwriter cautioned listeners against reading too much into the lyrics, telling Interview Magazine, “some of it is based on truth and some of it is fantasy.”

“It’s not a cruel album,” she added. “I don’t feel like I’m being mean. It was just the feelings I was processing at the time.”

And while we obviously respect the caveat, that didn’t stop Gay Twitter X from having a field day with the record’s implications.

Plus, as Allen told Interview Magazine, she feels “very differently about the whole situation now.”

“At the time, I was really trying to process things, and that’s great in terms of the album, but I don’t feel confused or angry now,” she explained. “I don’t need revenge.”

Of course, it helps that Allen likely feels less alone in her divorce, now that millions of stans online are taunting her ex-husband about his sexual proclivities and indiscretions.

For his part, Harbour has yet to respond, though he turned off his Instagram comments. And when asked about his divorce in April, he told GQ that “there’s no use in … engaging [with tabloid news] because it’s all based on hysterical hyperbole” and encourages “a salacious sh*tshow of humiliation.”

Welp, a little late for that!

When asked how she imagined Harbour would react to the album, Allen confessed, “I try not to think about that.”

And on the closing track “Fruityloop,” she admits: “It is what it is, you’re a mess, I’m a b*tch / Wish I could fix all your sh*t, but all your sh*t’s yours to fix.”

Nevertheless, she told Interview‘s Mel Ottenberg that her LGBTQ+ and female friends have loved the record, and while she hasn’t “played it [for] that many straight men,” her manager has.

“He says you can definitely tell who’s cheating on their wife and who isn’t,” she quipped.

Got ’em!

Check out more gay reactions to West End Girl below.

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