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A year after bravely sharing his story with the world, Colton Haynes stands prouder than ever
Haynes' memoir, "Miss Memory Lane,' set him on a path of healing, reclaiming his story, chapter by chapter.
The past year has been a cathartic one for Colton Haynes.
The model-turned-actor, best known for his roles in MTV’s fan-favorite supernatural drama Teen Wolf and The CW’s superhero-verse centerpiece Arrow, has spent the better part of the last 15 years in the limelight.
But as Haynes’ star climbed, so did the unwanted focus on his private life, which eventually forced him to publicly come out in 2016—something he says agents and managers had been telling him not to do since the earliest days of his career.
In the wake of that big decision, Haynes frequently found himself swirling around in the press cycle against his will, as he dealt with anxiety, married and later divorced celebrity florist Jeff Leatham, battled alcohol addiction and substance abuse, and coped with the tragic losses of his mother and sister, just two years apart.
And then came his memoir, Miss Memory Lane, released a year ago this week. More than a tell-all, the book finds Haynes reclaiming his story, chapter by chapter.
In it, Haynes candidly reflects on a childhood pushed along far too quickly, living through sexual abuse, a chaotic home life, and a demanding modeling career while he was still just a teenager. With clear eyes, he also writes about how Hollywood kept him in the closet, even going so far as to send him to movement classes and speech therapist so he would appear less gay.
It took a lot of courage to put it all out there, but Haynes did so with his head held high, setting an important example for all of us—especially within the LGBTQ+ community—about practicing self-love and fighting for agency over our lives.
So, how has sharing Miss Memory Lane with the world changed Haynes’ life?
“It’s interesting because, when I was writing it, I was just speaking my truth,” Haynes tells Queerty. “I wasn’t really thinking about how much I would be sharing. Since the book’s come out—and since seeing it really resonating with people—people have really made me feel great about being open and honest about my truth.”
“After breaking down all those walls,” he continues, “and after really shedding a lot of my pain and a lot of my emotion into the pages, I think now I’ve been able to create a lot of space for myself.”
In that space, Haynes has made room for community, for loved ones, for a chosen family that sees him as he really is, who can meet him at his level, wherever that may be. (And, yes, that does include his Teen Wolf co-stars, who he reunited with earlier this year for Paramount+’s Teen Wolf: The Movie, and still considers his closest friends.)
With all his cards on the table, in a better place than he’s been in years, Haynes now hopes that he can help make Hollywood a safer, healthier place for queer people—so that no one has to go through what he went through in his teens and twenties.
“I think that I’ve done the right thing by being so honest about my life,” he said on the Behind The Velvet Rope with David Yontef podcast in late 2022. “I played straight characters my whole career. Then I came out of the closet and now the opportunities aren’t there. And so I think that’s something that needs to change. But also I think we just have to start making our own things and we have to start writing our own things and trying to uplift our communities as much as we can and not be the people in the community who try to continue to tear it down as well.”
This Pride Season, Haynes says what makes him most proud to be a part of this community is its perseverance, a quality he shares simply by continuing to speak his truth.
“A lot of people can feel, especially growing up, that it’s a little bit of a burden because you’re not ‘normal,'” he tells Queerty. “But it makes me very proud to know that, no matter what, I’m going to keep moving forward—and, with a community like the one we have, it really is easy to keep doing that.”
“No matter how many people are trying to step in the way and ban our existence, you’re almost just born a fighter.”
Surely, Haynes’ own life and career is a testament to that fighting spirit. He’s a survivor who shows us that, despite what may be thrown our way, we’ll always come out on the other side, stronger and prouder than ever.
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