EXCLUSIVE: Inside Madonna’s sweaty, star-studded WeHo club takeover

This past weekend, I saw God—er, Madonna. I saw Madonna. Same difference.

On Saturday night, her high holiness, the Queen of Pop, touched down in West Hollywood at The Abbey in support of her upcoming Confessions II. Yes, it was sweaty, crowded, and more than a little hectic, but it was nothing short of a religious experience.

My pilgrimage began late last week when I received an invite to the gay hot spot for something called Club Confessions Los Angeles, a private event hosted by MISTR, the telemedicine platform that provides free PrEP & other HIV prevention services (which, like The Abbey, is owned by gay entrepreneur Tristan Schukraft).

If the event name wasn’t enough of hint that this was somehow related to Madonna’s next act—itself a sequel to 2005’s beloved Confessions On A Dance Floor—the invite flyer featured images of a woman who looked an awful lot like the pop star, her visage obscured by wavy blonde locks, as well as the phrase “a different identity,” which is uttered in the opening of her album’s thumping preview track “I Feel So Free.”

How about we take this to the next level?

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Then there was the night’s roster of DJs: LA favorite Mez Monty, queer musician Romy (also known as part of indie band The xx), and Stuart Price. Yes, as in that Stuart Price, Madonna’s go-to collaborator/producer for both Confessions albums.

So, when it was teased there’d be a “surprise guest” also taking the stage that night, there was only one person divine being it could be.

Naturally, rumors began to swirl on the internet thanks to many intrepid Madonna stan accounts, but there was one catch: The Abbey was currently undergoing major renovations—a re-designed dance floor, state of the art lights and sound systems, and more, per WeHo Times. It seemed like it’d take a miracle to get the place ready in time for Saturday.

Well, miracles happen, especially when Madonna’s involved!

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That night, my partner & I showed up just a little before 9pm, a line already forming down the block. As we waited well past the top of the hour, there wasn’t much movement, but we noticed familiar faces like RHOSLC‘s Meredith Marks joining the queue behind us. If she wasn’t getting in yet, then we certainly weren’t!

But eventually the floodgates opened, and guests who were on the coveted “list” began pouring in. We were greeted by a giant step-and-repeat emblazoned with the Confessions II art, release date, and that already iconic promo image of a speaker nestled between a pair of thighs.

In the Abbey’s courtyard, statues were cleverly shrouded the sheer fuchsia veils to match Madonna’s cover look. There was also a massive cake to mark Tristan Schukraft’s birthday. (what a way to celebrate, eh?). As for that swiftly remodeled dance floor? Well, it was already too crowded to get a good look at the updates, but we’re sure they did a nice job.

Or maybe we were just distracted by all the stars in attendance. We were so overwhelmed we nearly bumped right into the petite—and incredibly glamorous—Lily Allen! Other pop stars clocked around the venue included Addison Rae, Lola Young & Bebe Rexha, plus more famous faces like Tom Daley, Tori Spelling, Julia Fox, Jordan Firstman, Laith Ashley. And you better believe drag royalty came to party: Sasha Colby, Symone, Gottmik, Willam, Kylie Sonique Love, Lushious Massacr, Kelly Mantle—we could go on!

Mez Monty kicked off the night at the turntables, followed by Romy. It was probably about midway through her set that the crowd on the dance floor got particularly dense, everyone antsy to get a good spot for the not-so-secret special guest’s inevitable arrival.

And then, shortly before 1am, it happened: Mother had arrived! “Hello children, mother is here to save you,” she greeted the frenzied masses as she joined Stuart Price in the DJ booth. We all knew she’d be there, but we were stunned. How could you not be when breathing the same air as Madonna?

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For the better part of the next half hour, Madonna partied on stage as Price delivered the beats, giving us all permission to lose our inhibitions with “I Feel So Free” in addition to the first-ever public plays of two new tracks that online fans have been referring to as “Love Sensation” and “Freedom.” If what we heard was any indication, this whole album’s going to be stacked with four-to-the-floor club bangers.

Then that immortal ABBA synth kicked in, and the pair gave us “Hung Up,” a truly euphoric moment that had everyone in the bar jumping with joy. I momentarily blacked out in a moment of pure Madonna nirvana.

Though she wasn’t necessarily performing, Madonna—wearing a pink corset similar to the outfit that apparently got snatched-up post-Coachella—was having a ball and would occasionally grab the mic to offer some choice words to get the crowd all riled up (in one already-viral moment, she had to snatch the mic back from her hype-woman Addison Rae).

“Alright, let’s go gays, come on!” she beckoned. “Don’t let me down, gays!” Yes, Madonna knew exactly where she was that night; it was all by design. From the first unveiling of “I Feel So Free” on iHeartRadio’s Pride station to taking over the Grindr grid, the rollout of Confessions II thus far has been entirely done with her LGBTQ+ fans in mind, and this Abbey takeover was the natural next step.

At one point, she rallied the room with the chant, “Don’t wait. Take it. Take your freedom!” In that space, to that crowd, those words resonated extra deeply. The world outside’s been incredibly tense, our community under attack. The liberation we were experiencing in that moment? She demanded we grab that feeling, harness it, and let it fuel us going forward.

And that’s exactly why Madonna still matters, forty-something years into her career. She shows up for us, she gets us dancing, and she inspires us to keep on pushing forward.

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Speaking of, no amount of “pushing forward” could’ve gotten us past her security—they had cleared a path for her to and from the stage, which inadvertently cut off access to The Abbey’s bathrooms for some time before, during & after the set. But my partner & I, staying hydrated, had to go! The event’s fabulous staff encouraged us to use the neighboring bar’s facilities, then made sure we were able to get in in time for Madonna. Our bladders liberated, if you will, we were finally ready to dance the night away.

She ended her time on stage with Tristan Schukraft, who noted that when The Abbey first opened its doors 35 years ago, they were playing her music then and they’re still playing it now. “Legend,” Madonna correctly labeled herself. Then she lead the crowd in a “Happy Birthday” sing-along to Schukraft, spanking him on every note of the song. She really gives the gays so much.

Shortly after that, we made our way home; it was late for us, our bodies exhausted—and we’re in our thirties! At 67, Madonna can still out-party us. Legend indeed.

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