Gays who met their partners offline & not on an app describe those meet-cutes

With all the dating apps one tap away, we can sometimes forget that people used to—and sometimes still do—meet in person and not online. And Reddit users shared those experiences in an r/askgaybros thread earlier this month.

Take, for instance, the dudes who married in the coffee shop where they met. Or the atheists who met in church. Or the long-term relationship that got started with a spanking session.

Read those stories and others in the excerpts below.

“In a café. … It was my first week in a new city, his last week on the job as a barista. Same age, both recent graduates, common interests, started off as friends. I liked him and he wasn’t into me, then he was into me and I wasn’t into him. Took a few tries until we were into each other at the same time. Twenty some years later, got married where we met, with our kids and friends with us.”

“We met when we entered college [and were] mates until we fell in love. Here we are now, 10 years later, still [as] happy as [on the] first day.”

“Law school. We were in the same criminal law class. Thought he was gorgeous. I made the first move. We ended up dating for three years. He was my first-ever boyfriend.”

“In a church, surprisingly. And we’re both atheist. … My friends were still involved in church life and dragged me along to their current church for a youth group night. Surprisingly, almost the same thing happened to my husband that same night. It was truly love at first sight. We saw each other across the room, got together, and started nervously talking. We clicked so well and exchanged numbers. I still remember what he was wearing. We’ve been together since October 2004, and I still can’t believe it has been that long. I love that man.”

“He was subletting in my apartment for a while. I didn’t pay much attention to him at first because we were both very busy and I’m very introverted, haha. But then around the holidays, our other roommate left the city for a while. We decided to have a scary movie night because we realized we were both horror fans, and the rest is history! Hehe.”

“Tech boot camp, where he asked me out in front of, like, six strangers, and I was too busy eying the food. Dude had confidence.”

“I met my husband in the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus. He was young, and [in] the first concert. He had a solo, and he owned the stage at Davies Symphony Hall. I knew I wanted to know him at that point.”

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“Relationships are built, not born.”

“At the club I work at. He came for a night out clubbing with his friends, and he hit on me. I found him annoying at first, but here we are, a year later.”

“I worked at a hotel, and he did security for the business park where the hotel was located.”

“Mutual friend’s house. Stopped by my friend’s place to grab a jacket I had left from the night before. My future partner was standing in the living room, and I was head over heels immediately. I shook his hand and pulled him in for a half hug as I was saying goodbye. On the porch outside. I asked my friend to give my number to his friend. … I wasn’t even out of the parking lot before I got a text from my future partner. Turns out, he was head over heels for me. We’ve been together 5 years.”

“Outside a rave. I saw him walk by with a few of his friends, Not gonna lie, it was like a rom-com. I saw him walk by in slow motion, and something within my soul clicked. He was the most beautiful person I ever saw. I nudged my friend and told her I was going to marry him. We’ve been together for 12 years now. Married for two years.”

“His sister crushed on me but realized I’m gay, so she set me up with her brother and encouraged us to become roommates. Next year will mark 25 years he and I have been together, and his sister introduces me as family.”

“Met him in a BDSM club on Good Friday. It was the first kinky party for me and one of his first times leading a spanking session. We had one hell of a time and cuddled, kissed, and chatted the rest of the night.”

“At the sauna. He was kissing two other guys when I stopped to look. They invited me to join, and when I kissed him, it gave him butterflies.”

“I was at university, walking to my next class [when] I dropped my books. I was so embarrassed and frantically picking them all up, but luckily, this guy came to help. When everything was picked up, we both got up at the same time and locked eyes. The rest is history.”

“In a production of The Fantasticks.”

“He was my mum’s hairdresser, and she insisted we go on a date.”

“A friend took me to a gay cowboy bar in Vegas. A handsome guy walked over to me and asked if he can buy me a drink. Talked, made out, but I left with my friend, and I didn’t give my contact info to my future husband. He knew my friend and contacted him the next day to invite us out for dinner. We clicked and finally exchanged numbers and had a great Vegas night but barely communicated over the next 3 1/2 years. We lived in different cities, L.A. & Vegas. Long distance wasn’t for us. We both couldn’t forget each other, though. His job gave him the opportunity to move to L.A., and I came the day after he arrived to help with the move, and we started dating and saw Crazy, Stupid, Love as our first real date. Fast forward: together almost 12 years and married 10 years next week.”

“I was born with him—for he is my right hand.”

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