Harrison Butker keeps shanking his kicks wide right & nobody can resist making the obvious joke

Up to this point, there’s been a required cognitive dissonance when it comes to mocking Harrison Butker. The Kansas City Chiefs kicker, abominable for his misogyny and homophobia, has been automatic for years.

A key part of the Chiefs’ dynastic run, the jokes didn’t hit as hard when he was nailing the longest kick in Super Bowl history. But now at 30 years old, the far-right placekicker appears to be past his peak, like a woman who’s no longer in prime child-rearing age (we couldn’t resist).

This past weekend, Butker missed his second field goal in three weeks, along with his second extra point. Naturally, his 40-yarder was wide to the right.

The one-liners write themselves…

How about we take this to the next level?

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After three straight Super Bowl appearances, the once-dominant Chiefs are in a malaise. They dropped their first two games of the season before defeating the hapless New York Giants on Sunday night.

Butker’s struggles symbolize their listlessness. During the Chiefs’ Week 1 loss to the rival Los Angeles Chargers in Brazil, he shanked what would’ve been a game-leading chip shot.

Play-by-play man Rich Eisen, however, didn’t miss his call.

Butker became the NFL’s most infamous kicker in May 2024, when he delivered a commencement speech to a small Christian college in Kansas and told gays to stop feeling proud and women to get back into the kitchen. He railed against “dangerous gender ideologies” and slammed Pride celebrations, instructing young Christians to take “pride” in the Bible and not queer identities.

“Not the sort of Pride that has an entire month dedicated to it, but the true God-centered pride that is cooperating with the holy ghost to glorify him,” he lectured.

Butker saved his most atavistic words for women. “I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolic lies told to you,” he warned. “Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world.”

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Over the ensuing year-plus, we’ve been most excited when Bunker gets put into his place by a strong woman like Serena Williams or when he poses with his boyfriend Josh Hawley. In pure MAGA fashion, his PAC was also exposed as a scam.

But still, when Butker suited up on Sundays, he seldom missed. His success earned him the largest contract ever signed by a kicker in NFL history, a luxury that allows his wife to stay at home.

Somehow, when Butker and rich Christian televangelists preach about the sanctity of traditional gender roles, they fail to mention economic reality.

Speaking of rich Christian evangelists, it should come as little surprise that Butker was close with Charlie Kirk. Earlier this month, Butker posted a screenshot of a Bible verse that Kirk had sent him.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Harrison Butker (@buttkicker7)

Due to the Chiefs playing Sunday night, Butker couldn’t attend Kirk’s Super Bowl-like memorial service at State Farm Stadium in Glendale, Arizona. But we have little doubt that Butker was there in spirit.

Meanwhile, in the physical world, he was too far to the right.

Perfect.

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