How to be an LGBTQ+ ally? Our Guide for Supporting Queer Folks
Karl Krause WORLDWIDE: It's crucial to understand how to support the LGBTQ+ community. We'll provide you with tips on how to be a good LGBTQ+ ally for queer folks. Share it! The post How to be an LGBTQ+ ally? Our Guide for Supporting Queer Folks appeared first on Gay Travel Blog - Couple of Men.
Mark
Pride is more than a party. It’s a powerful celebration of love, diversity, resistance, and resilience. But true support for the LGBTQ+ community goes far beyond rainbow flags and social media posts every June. Whether you’re a friend, family member, coworker, or someone who believes in equality, this guide offers practical, everyday actions to become a better LGBTQ+ ally – not just during Pride Month, but all year round. Being a good LGBTQ+ ally is about active, informed, and continuous support that empowers queer people to live openly and authentically in all aspects of their lives. As a gay couple traveling the world and documenting our experiences through Couple of Men, we’ve learned again and again: real allyship is about what you do – every day, in every place you go.
What does it mean to be an LGBTQ+ ally?
Being an LGBTQ+ ally means more than simply supporting your queer friends on social media. It’s about creating meaningful change in your behavior, community, and workplace or school environment. An ally listens, learns, and stands up against injustice – even when it’s uncomfortable. Allies help amplify the voices of LGBTQ+ people without speaking over them. They create inclusive environments, challenge homophobia and transphobia, and foster empathy across differences. The LGBTQ+ community includes lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and other marginalized sexual and gender identities. Each group faces unique challenges, including discrimination, underrepresentation, and mental health disparities.
What is an Ally?
An ally is a person who supports and advocates for a marginalized group, in this case, the LGBTQ+ community. Being an ally means standing up for the rights of LGBTQ+ people and working to create a more inclusive and accepting society.
What is the LGBTQ+ Community?
The LGBTQ+ community is a group of people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or questioning. This community has been historically marginalized and discriminated against in a heteronormative society.
As an ally, your role is to support – not dominate – the conversation. Listen without judgment, educate yourself without demanding emotional labor from queer people, and use your position of privilege to advocate for equity. Allyship also involves unlearning harmful stereotypes and being open to making and correcting mistakes. It’s about humility and growth. Whether you’re marching in a Pride parade, correcting a co-worker’s homophobic joke, or simply showing up for a queer loved one, every action counts. True allyship is consistent and ongoing. It doesn’t end when Pride Month in June is over.
Read more about LGBTQ+ Monuments worldwide here >
Educate yourself and others – Listen & Learn
A good LGBTQ+ ally is always learning. The queer community is incredibly diverse, and no single story represents every experience. Gender identity, sexual orientation, cultural background, age, religion, and race all intersect to create unique challenges and perspectives. That’s why active listening and continuous education are at the heart of strong allyship.
Rather than relying on LGBTQ+ friends to educate you, take the initiative to seek out information. Read books by queer authors, watch LGBTQ+ documentaries and films, and follow activists and educators on social media platforms like Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok. These resources offer valuable insights into lived experiences, community history, and current struggles.
Don’t be afraid to sit with discomfort. You may realize you’ve used the wrong terminology or unknowingly supported discriminatory systems in the past. That’s okay – growth begins with recognition. Ask open questions when appropriate, but avoid putting LGBTQ+ individuals in a position where they have to justify or explain their identities for your understanding.
Also interesting to read: List of Top LGBTQ+ Activists >
Listen to the experiences and perspectives of LGBTQ+ people. Be open to learning and growing, and be willing to have difficult conversations. Because it is not about you as a non-LGBTQ+ person, it is about us queer people and about how we feel, how we experience the world, and how we try to navigate in a heteronormative society. For many LGBTQ+ people, their coming out is a story full or pain, disappointments, and vulnerability. So, thanks for listening!
Ways to deepen your learning about the queer community:
- Subscribe to LGBTQ+ newsletters like GLAAD, PinkNews, The Trevor Project or them.us
- Attend local Pride events, book readings, or public discussions, and wave a Pride flag
- Explore queer history, such as the Stonewall Riots or ACT UP movement.
- Learn about intersectionality and how racism, ableism, and classism interact with queerness.
Through our travels, we’ve had the honor of listening to queer voices from Japan to Canada, from Sweden to South Africa. Each story has deepened our understanding and helped us grow, not just as gay travelers but as members of a global LGBTQ+ family.
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Use inclusive language
Language shapes perception. As an LGBTQ+ ally, your words carry weight, and using inclusive language demonstrates respect and understanding. Many people unintentionally misgender others, use outdated terms, or reinforce heteronormative assumptions. Learning to use inclusive, affirming language helps create safer environments for LGBTQ+ individuals.
Start by asking people for their pronouns and respecting them. If you’re unsure, simply introduce yourself with your pronouns first (e.g., “Hi, I’m Alex, and I use they/them pronouns. What about you?”). Normalizing this practice makes it easier for everyone to feel seen. This can involve thinking about homophobic jokes and putting your pronouns in your email. Avoid assuming someone’s gender or sexual orientation based on appearance, clothing, or voice.
Additionally, be mindful of the terms you use. For example, say “partner” instead of “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” or “spouse” instead of “husband” or “wife”, unless you know someone’s preferences. Familiarize yourself with basic terms such as nonbinary, cisgender, and genderqueer, and update your vocabulary regularly.
Important 1: Common do’s and don’ts
- Do use people’s chosen names and pronouns.
- Do educate yourself using LGBTQ+ glossaries (e.g., from Human Rights Campaign).
- Don’t ask invasive questions about someone’s body or sexuality.
- Don’t say “I don’t care what you are” – it dismisses identity.
Important 2: If you make a mistake
- Apologize briefly and sincerely.
- Correct yourself and move on without making it about you.
- Learn from the experience and do better next time.
During our travels, we’ve met countless people worldwide who have asked us about our pronouns with openness and kindness. These small actions have a big aftereffect on us. They show you care, that we can be safe with you, and that we do not have to explain ourselves for being who we are as a married gay couple.
Speak up – when it matters
Being an LGBTQ+ ally means taking a stand, even when it is difficult. Silence, especially from those in positions of privilege, often enables discrimination. Speaking up – whether at work, with friends, or on social media – can make a big difference in challenging harmful narratives and fostering inclusivity. When someone makes a homophobic or transphobic remark, challenge it respectfully but firmly.
If a family member says something inappropriate out of ignorance, use the opportunity to educate rather than shame. In the workplace, support inclusive policies, gender-neutral bathrooms, and employee resource groups for LGBTQ+ staff.
Online, amplify LGBTQ+ voices rather than centering your own. Share educational content, support fundraisers for queer organizations, and boost underrepresented voices. Avoid performative allyship, where support is only expressed when it’s trending – true advocacy is consistent and intentional.
Actions you can take today as any LGBTQ+ ally:
- Sign petitions supporting LGBTQ+ rights.
- Write or call your political representatives about anti-LGBTQ+ legislation.
- Attend rallies and community events in solidarity.
- Confront hate speech, even in casual conversations.
When we’ve spoken at events or joined Pride marches abroad, we’ve seen firsthand how meaningful allyship can be. From straight couples marching beside us to parents carrying signs for their trans children, their voices matter. Yours does too.
Also interesting to read: All about the History of Pride >
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Support queer spaces & businesses
Queer spaces are vital to the LGBTQ+ community’s safety, culture, and self-expression. From bars and bookstores to advocacy centers and art galleries, these environments offer refuge, creativity, and connection. Unfortunately, many of these spaces face financial instability or threats due to discrimination and underfunding.
As an ally, supporting queer businesses and organizations is a powerful way to show solidarity. Spend money at LGBTQ+ owned establishments, especially during the off-season, not just in Pride Month. Promote their services on social media and encourage friends to do the same.
When traveling, seek out queer-friendly accommodations and experiences. Consider joining LGBTQ+ travel groups or visiting destinations that actively support diversity and inclusion. Couple of Men offers in-depth guides to LGBTQ+ Pride events and gay-friendly destinations worldwide.
Other meaningful ways to support the queer community:
- Donate to LGBTQ+ homeless shelters and youth programs.
- Volunteer your time at queer cultural centers or helplines.
- Shop from queer artists and independent creators.
- Attend and promote queer theater, art shows, and live performances.
Many of the most meaningful moments in our travels happened in small LGBTQ+ owned guesthouses, cafés, or bookstores. Those are places where we felt safe, truly seen, and where we could connect with the local LGBTQ+ community the best. Those spaces matter. Your support helps keep them alive.
Also interesting to read: List of Top Gay & LGBTQ+ Bloggers >
Normalize allyship for the LGBTQ+ community all year-round
Allyship shouldn’t be limited to the month of June. Pride may be a visible celebration, but LGBTQ+ people live, work, and love every day of the year. Normalizing allyship means embedding inclusivity into your daily actions, conversations, and choices.
Celebrate LGBTQ+ awareness days and milestones beyond Pride Month, like Trans Day of Visibility (March 31), National Coming Out Day (October 11), IDAHOBIT (International Day Against Homo-, Bi-, Inter- and Transphobia) on May 17, or Spirit Day. These moments offer additional opportunities to show support and learn more.
Keep challenging heteronormativity and cis-normativity in your media consumption, workplace behavior, and family dynamics. Encourage inclusive curricula in schools. Choose TV shows, books, and movies that highlight queer stories. Invite LGBTQ+ speakers to your organization or classroom.
Ways to show ongoing LGBTQ+ allyship:
- Share queer content throughout the year – not just in June.
- Speak up when you see exclusion or erasure.
- Continue educating yourself about LGBTQ+ issues.
- Make your home, office, and online presence inclusive.
We often say, “Pride is a feeling we carry with us, no matter where we are. Whether we’re exploring the mountains of Austria or the beaches of Puerto Rico, we bring and live our queerness with pride – and it means everything when others make space for it year-round.
Final thoughts: Show up, stay humble, keep learning!
Being a good LGBTQ+ ally is a journey, not a checklist. Mistakes are inevitable, but it’s how you respond, learn, and grow that defines your impact. True allyship is rooted in action, not performance, and in humility, not ego. Show up consistently, speak out against injustice, and commit to unlearning harmful patterns. Your support can help create a world where queer people are not just accepted, but celebrated for who they are.
From our experience as a traveling gay couple, we can tell you that it’s the small, intentional gestures that stay with us: a hotel that asks for pronouns at check-in, a stranger who defends our right to hold hands, and a host who proudly flies the rainbow flag. These moments remind us that allies are everywhere and that LGBTQ+ allyship really can make a change in someone’s life.
FAQ: How to Be a Better LGBTQ+ Ally
An ally supports and uplifts LGBTQ+ individuals by learning, listening, and speaking up. An advocate takes this further, actively working to change policies, laws, or social norms to improve equality and justice for LGBTQ+ people.
That’s okay – it happens. Just apologize briefly, correct yourself, and move on. Don’t make it about you or turn it into a big deal. What matters most is respect and a willingness to learn.
Absolutely. Being an ally is about your attitude and actions, not your social circle. You can still read, vote, donate, share educational content, and speak out when needed.
Only if it’s relevant and respectful – and even then, only if the person has indicated they’re open to sharing. Never ask invasive questions about someone’s identity, body, or personal life.
Start early with inclusive books, toys, and media. Use respectful language, challenge stereotypes, and model acceptance. Celebrate diversity by normalizing it, instead of avoiding it.
Pronouns are deeply personal. Using the correct ones is a basic act of respect and helps affirm someone’s identity. Purposefully misgendering someone can feel dismissive or even hurtful.
Use inclusive language, respect privacy, and challenge microaggressions. If you’re in a position to do so, support inclusive policies and practices within your company, school, or organization.
Yes! Allies are welcome and needed. Just remember that Pride has roots in protest and activism, so show up with humility, celebrate the LGBTQ+ community, and center queer voices.
Start with curiosity and care. Ask questions, listen more than you speak, and share your desire to be a better ally. Avoid lecturing or making assumptions. By doing that, you are dismissing the need of the queer community.
Love is love, but labels can be powerful for people discovering and expressing their identity. Respecting those labels means recognizing and honoring someone’s lived experience.
And now, it is time for you to learn how to be an LGBTQ+ ally
Being a good LGBTQ+ ally is an ongoing process that requires a willingness to learn, grow, and take action. By following these tips, you can become a more effective ally and help create a more inclusive and accepting society for all.
As you travel the world, it’s essential to remember that LGBTQ+ people face unique challenges and discrimination in different parts of the world. So, being a good ally can help create a more welcoming and safe environment for LGBTQ+ people and queer travelers alike.
Do not assume! Do not judge! Do not look away!
Do ask! Do listen! Do stand by our side!
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Would you like to learn more about us gay travel bloggers and experience our queer adventures with us? Then stay tuned and follow us on Facebook, Threads, YouTube, Pinterest, and Instagram! See you in Utrecht, Amsterdam, the Netherlands, or on one of our next Gay Pride trips worldwide!
Karl & Daan.
The post How to be an LGBTQ+ ally? Our Guide for Supporting Queer Folks appeared first on Gay Travel Blog - Couple of Men.
