How to stay safe while being wild abroad

So you wanna get wild on your big trip abroad.

Good choice. You’ve earned it.

But stay safe while doing it — literally.

Hooking up outside your hometown can be an exciting, even enlightening adventure. It can open doors to new cultures and people, reveal undiscovered sights, and provide memories for a lifetime — along with some good stories, if all goes according to plan.

Pack your bags, we’re going on an adventure

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But the thrill of getting intimate overseas also comes with its own set of risks. You’re not in Kansas anymore when you’re hooking up abroad, unless you find yourself in the arms of an attaché in a U.S. consulate or embassy with all the rights and protections you’d find in Wichita.

You’re likely under another country’s jurisdiction when you travel overseas, and not all of them are down with gay people, let alone gay people having sex with each other.

So here are some tips to keep in mind when you go mild to wild on your next trip out of the country.

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1. Know Before You Go

It’s a safe bet when you’re traveling to Europe that you’re good to get wild just like back home. Same-sex relationships and relations are legal across the European Union.

But most everywhere else in the world, there’s a question mark about the degree to which traveling while gay, let alone having gay sex, is acceptable.

Wherever you’re going, research local laws and culture to confirm the legal status of gay people and gay sex. In many countries, particularly in the Middle East, Africa, and Southeast Asia, same-sex relationships and gay sex are criminalized, with some acts in some countries even earning the death penalty.

Even in countries where being gay is legal, there might be widespread homophobia or transphobia in some areas, and traveling while identifiably gay or having gay sex, even in private, could be a risk (see the homophobic regime in Hungary despite its membership in the European Union, and Russia stoking anti-LBGTQ+ animus).

Check out sites like Equaldex, ILGA World, or the U.S. State Department’s LGBTQ+ travel advisories for up-to-date information and advisories for the LGBTQ+ community.

2. Use “The Apps” Wisely  

Popular apps like Grindr and Scruff are used around the world, and they’re a great addition to your hook-up tool kit. But their safety varies widely depending on where they’re used—just like at home, they can be used to entrap overzealous (read stupidly horny) users.

Overseas, be particularly mindful about fake profiles used for entrapment, either by bad actors looking to rob unsuspecting tourists, or law enforcement hoping to make a bust or force a bribe, or even send detainees off to war.

Use discretion on your profile by not posting revealing info or face photos if you’re in a high-risk country, and explore using app features like incognito mode or location masking (aka “geo-spoofing”) to stay extra safe.

3. Take Control of the Meeting

However you’re hooking up, make sure to meet in a public place before your alone time.

Get a coffee or drink if you meet online, and if you meet in public, don’t let alcohol or drugs impair your judgment about who you’re hooking up with and where they might take you.

In cruisy public settings, avoid getting drugged by not leaving drinks unattended and being cautious about accepting anything — beverages or any other substance — offered by a stranger.

Where you hook up goes down is a key to safety. If you’re staying in a hotel or Airbnb you’re sharing with friends, it’s a generally safe spot for a rendezvous. Avoid going to someone’s private residence alone unless they’ve given you good reason to trust them.  

While abroad and on the hunt, it’s a good idea to share your location with a trusted friend who is traveling with you, or even someone back home, with apps like Find My iPhone or Google Maps location sharing.

4. Protect Your Privacy

In some countries, under some circumstances, authorities may search your phone. Be sure to hide dating apps or any other LGBTQ+ content in a secure folder, or use apps like Vault or AppLock.

Wipe your phone of easily accessible media, like those screenshots you’ve collected, or the videos you regret shooting with your ex back in the states and never deleted.

You can use a virtual private network, or VPN, to protect your online activity when traveling in countries with surveillance or censorship.

Wherever you’re traveling, use caution taking or sharing sexy or intimate photos or videos that could be used against you — blackmail does happen, and it’s not unheard of for authorities to be in league with criminals looking to extort gay travelers.

5. Stay Healthy

Just like at home, a nasty STI or worse can ruin your hook-up mojo.

Proceed with caution as you get intimate with a stranger overseas. Check for signs of STIs around the mouth and genitals in particular, and come prepared with your regular regimen of PrEP, and especially Doxy PEP.

Taken within 72 hours of sex, Doxy Pep can reduce the risk of acquiring syphilis and chlamydia by 70-80%, and gonorrhea from 50 to over 60%. It does not protect against viral STIs like HIV, herpes, HPV, or Mpox, so be sure your vaccinations are up to date for those viral STIs that have one.

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